LONG but I really need some advice - me, my husband, and the stalker?

Question

My husband met this girl in a recovery meeting about 7 yrs ago. She disappeared about 4 yrs ago. They never dated (nasty) and weren’t even close friends but she came here (where I live now) to use his computer once when she was clean so she knows where we live. She showed up one day & my husband couldn’t remember her name. Neither could my husband’s brother. I think she’s doing Meth. She was hostile towards the people at my house & especially towards me. She caused such a scene that my husband drove her to the bus stop & left her there. She walked back & it was even worse the 2nd time. Ever since then she comes around all the time & we call the police but she always leaves before they get here. We leave our doors open all the time because we don’t have A/C. She just walks right in & sits on the couch. Last time she came when I wasn’t home & told my husband that everything in our apartment belonged to her. Once we had some family members here & some of them are black through adoption. She yelled at my husband “why didn’t you ever tell me your family was black”! Then she comes over at 2am banging on the door yelling “isn’t this where the n*ggers live”? She’s crazy.

Here’s the problem. My husband slipped one day & mentioned that his brother had given her a ride somewhere recently. The girl that’s making my life h**l? And his brother is helping her out? She came back yesterday. I had my sliding door open & my husband was in the garage. I didn’t call him in because I wanted to deal with her myself this time. She started rambling & said she will be staying at my house from now on because most of the stuff in my house is hers. Then she said all of this started with SUSAN. That’s my husband’s ex-girlfriend. I don’t know what that meant & I didn’t let her continue. My husband came in & it got ugly. He called the cops while I argued with her. I told her this is MY home & he is MY husband. She started laughing & said “since when are YOU married”? I stuck my ring in her face & told her to get out. She said “well somebody is lying to YOU because you have no idea what’s going on with me & him & his brother”. Then she tried coming through my front door so I physically blocked her & was a hair from beating her. My husband got in the middle of us & she took off. I was REALLY mad so I took off after her. I just wanted to know if she was walking or driving so the cops could get her this time. I did yell a little loud “b*tch are you walking or driving”?

He got mad at ME. He said I was embarrassing us because the neighbors could probably hear. I told him that I was NOT the one who invited this girl into our lives & I have every reason to be upset. I also asked him if there was more to this story than he’s telling me. I just think it’s weird that she went from being some chick he once new at a meeting to his brother driving her around town & now she’s bringing up his ex-girlfriend & laughing at me that I’m married & insinuating something else is going on. Well he was FURIOUS with me for suggesting that he hadn’t told me the whole truth. I know she’s completely crazy & Meth can make people paranoid & delusional but I think I had a right to ask. He even threatened to divorce me over this. He said I should never have questioned him.

Do you think I’m right or wrong? It was a simple question. Is there more going on here than I know about? Simple. He said if the tables were turned he would believe me the first time. I think that’s a load of c**p. If there was a man here bringing up names of my exes & saying the stuff this girl is saying then I think he would feel the same way as me. I need to talk to him when he gets home in about an hour. I just don’t know what to say. He threatened to DIVORCE me. We’ve only been married 2 months but have been together for 3 yrs.

Answer 1

O.k there IS some weird stuff going on. Hes threatening to divorce you because he doesn't want you to bring it up again because obviously something happened. Next time the meth w***e walks in talk to her and see wat the h**l is going on. Then if your husband is still getting angry then take the d**n divorce because when your married you dont keep secrets like that!!

Answer 2

Hmm.

Well there is a lot going on here and you are RIGHT. If you husband gets mad at you and threatens to DIVORCE you... he obviously has something to hide. And you did the right thing by trying to deal with it for youself. This random meth lady comes into your house and your husband doesnt do anything? Seems weird to me. I think that you should have a serious talk with him and if hes not willing to tell you anything there is something hes hiding. You should have a right to know what this girl wants and WHAT she was talking about between him.hisbrother.andher. So.... your right in this situation 100%

Answer 3

well until he got hostile and threatened to divorce you, I would have said don't believe a junkie.  They tell lies and like to create havoc when people are inconveniencing them.

but he's had an over the top reaction to you being tired and frustrated dealing with this woman.  There may be more truth to her story than he would like.

Answer 4

No he was in the wrong.  He screwed around with this lady and she's mad about how she's being treated.  He probably told her he wasn't married, or she has known him in the past when he wasn't married, something.  Your husband has taken her side and is mad because you know something is going on (with him & his brother both).  He's trying to make you feel guilty so you'll overlook this.  No offense meant, but she's doing them both at the same time.  

If I were you I would be really upset.  If you could keep her there (whether fighting or being polite) and call the police they will arrest her for invasion of privacy and trespassing.  If you do so, don't tell police you hit her or threatened her as they will take you to jail also.  She has no right being in your home, and your husband should feel the same way you do.  I suggest you keep the doors closed from here on out and open windows instead.  She might even plan to rob you since she knows this (and you say you think she's on drugs).  

    

Answer 5

There is definatley more going on then what he is saying no dought.  Not only did she insinuated it but he threatened to divorce you ...  Let the looser divorce you you don't need this...  People like her get only worse and your life could be at stake before it is over with...

No offence but who is her supplier????

Answer 6

His, threatening to divorce you because you want to know what this girl means by her statements and actions would make me suspicious and wary that may be or in the past something has occurred that he's not being truthful about. For your own piece of mind I would get to the bottom of this fast and because he's talking divorce he has something to hide so if I were you I'd start asking questions and looking even harder.  

Answer 7

There is more going on.   Your being fooled.  Decide what is more important.  

Answer 8

The first thing, don't try to touch her, it could turn against you. If you find a husband of 2 months threatening with divorce, something is d**n funny! I would rather you ask your husband again about the whole scenario even if he threatens, you have a right to know, you are his wife. Then I would ask the brother, well it might be funny, but things are bad anyway. Please don't let the girl in again, close the doors even if you end up having a bad summer from the heat in the house.

It might be hard but pls stay sober. My prayers to get out of this are with you.

Answer 9

It all seems strange, and then your husband of 2 months wants divorce you.  Doesn't make any sense at all.  I think that he needs help and to get this strange women out of his life for good.  His brother helping her out doesn't add up either.  Best of luck!!

Answer 10

Slowwwwwwwwwwwwww down all of this seem really crazy and your sooooooooooooooooooo right and don't let him play head games with the threatening divorce! Think with logic why is it that when you ask him general question he resorts to threatening divorce, that alone would bother me.  Be stern and firm, cut the drama and the b/s and don't let him snow you! Run your entire situation and take control of it! Because your married and grown and both adults and he would act as such......  I would laugh too and find him really funny for threatening you for asking question that, as you put it anyone would ask! Tell him to play head games with someone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  As for the chick, he knows it's more to the situation and he would tell me!!!!!!!!! As for the brother, fall back keep your mouth shut and watch!!!!!!!!  But I'd set my life up for bigger and better things and be on point for any situation with him....  Being in the not knowing is a pickle and don't be in the not knowing be in control of your life and surroundings at all times!!!!!!!!!

As for the chick if he can't take control of the situation and do the man thing then I would be ready to move! But her butt would be in jail!!!!!!!! He would re-open his train of thought of where she come from and how to get rid of that situation at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's telling a balled face lie and you know it!!!!!!!!!!!

There is more to his strory with this chick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

mistake number 1 marrying a guy who was in rehab

Mistake number 2 him letting her in your house

Mistake number 3 You believing him; this story has more holes in it than swiss cheese.

Your home is private property, put locks on your screen doors - it she comes in it is breaking and entering

Go to the police station and file a report about the constant harassment then ask for a restraining order.

Answer 12

Wow, is this chick's name Nancy by any chance?

Answer 13

The married man that fools around because his wife has a stinky p***y is just absurd.