Labels and judgment! ?

Question

i have been quite low lately, and not thinking right, and rather suicidal. I always get this though, but i never talk about it. As i know you get judged!

But like i tried to talk to my BF about it, you know tell someone. I have been quite paranoid about a girl that likes him. And that girl read the messages i sent him.

saying i was selfish, begging for attention and he should dump me, and that sick people need doctors!

i don't know what to say, i feel quite hurt that a stranger is judging me so harshly and telling him to split with me.

I am getting help, went to the doctors and getting assessed. So i am doing something about it. But i'm really offended and don't know how to react.

Answer 1

What Do You Care What Other People Think? - that's the title to a great book, written by the world renowned physicist Richard P. Feynman.

You will find peace when you realize there is no need to be offended because their judgment makes no difference. It sounds cliche now, but I've been rather strong willed since childhood. And trust me. What a few people say behind your back doesn't really matter at all- whether what they say is hatred or praise, don't let it change you.

Answer 2

As difficult as this may sound, you'll have to clam up around the BF - he doesn't sound like he's going to be one of the most helpful.  If another girl has access to his messages, he must've allowed it somehow (even if he says he didn't).

The assessment shouldn't take too long (hopefully) and you'll be able to get into counseling.  This will be helpful - hard work, but so much more meaningful than spinning your wheels trying to figure it out yourself - or worse - turning to people who will be less than understanding/helpful.

Try not to let yourself get any lower - in awhile, you'll realize this is one of the rough patches you're going through, but will pass.  With counseling, you'll learn how to deal with even worse things.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Someone is ALWAYS going to judge you in life, whether it's fairly deserved or not.  Those kind of people that judge without knowing anything about the person or situation are the type of people you're better off not even bothering with.  It's hard to do, but try as hard as you can to just not care what ignorant people like this person think about you.  

Of course she's going to say these things to your boyfriend.  She likes him and she's jealous he's with you, so she's going to try to make you look like a flake.  If your boyfriend falls for this tactic, you are WAY better off without him too.  He should think THIS girl is the one with problems, throwing out insults about someone she knows nothing about, AND that's HIS girlfriend.  If anyone said anything bad about me to my husband, he would defend me and cut that person off completely.  

It's good that you are getting help.  Don't let this petty bullsh*t stand in the way of you feeling better.  The sooner you let this go the faster you'll get better, and feel stronger about yourself.  Good luck.