Laboring at home, being treated like a criminal?

Question

My co workers are being totally dumb. They say I'm irresponsible and I'm a bad mother for wanting to labor at home until the baby is almost out, because I'm "endangering the baby". Why is it that women MUST labor in a hospital or they are deemed evil?

I hate hospitals. If I had a choice, I wouldn't give birth in one. My husband insists that we use our insurance that we paid so much for by going to the hospital to make it worth having paid out for a year.

I just want my co-workers to stop treating me like I'm stupid just because I want to labor in the comfort of my own home. :( what can I do?

Answer 1

Just ignore your co-workers.. For the simple fact before there were hospitals around woman were having kids in there home everyday! If you are comfortable with having your child at home and that is what you want than do what you feel is right. Its the mothers and fathers choice. I know how you feel about hospitals, I feel the exact same way i cant stand them .As long as you have a in home nurse, by your side to help you out and coach you thought it along with your husband, everything will be fine. Your not a bad person or bad parent for it, I have a friend who had all three of her children, in a hospital they treated her great and everything but she was ready to get out as soon as possible because she does not like hospitals either.I think that you are a very strong woman to actually have your child at home, you are just proving to people that it can be done. And just because a women wants to have there child at home don't mean they are a bad parent or a bad person, and they don't deserve to be locked up or anything. Congrats and hope this helps you out in this time that you are going though.  

Answer 2

Try to ignore them.  With my first I was only 19 and my husband had left me.  I just followed the advice of my Mom and my Aunts and had him in the hospital.  I hated it.

When I married my current husband and I was pregnant with my second child, we decided to use a Home Maternity instead of an OB/GYN.  I gave birth to a healthy 7lb baby girl.  She is now almost 24 years old.

Then, barely less than 2 years later, I gave birth to my third, another son, also at home.  He just turned 22 and is getting a 3.97 cumulative GPA in college.

I never even saw an OB/GYN with either of those pregnancies/deliveries and everything turned out well.

While pregnant with my second, one of my Aunts had been a head nurse at a local hospital.  She was so angry at my decision to give birth at home that she kept telling me that I should be arrested an locked up until after the birth!  She kept saying that if anything happened and the baby died, that she would definitely testify against me to let them know what a horrible, evil person I was.  lol!

Showed her, didn't I?  Just try your best to ignore them.  I mean, people have been giving birth at home forever!

Answer 3

it is your decision but think of it like this.  Labour can change so quickly!  You can be having a completely uncomplicated labour and all of a sudden it can turn on you.  You may not have time to make it to the hospital.  My husband and I were talking about this today and if we had decided to labour at home we'd have been in trouble because I went from 5 to 10 cms so quickly and that baby was coming.  then his heartrate was going down (we wouldn't have known that at home) because the cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times.  it can be a dangerous situation.  While the decision is always yours and nobody should ever try to make you feel bad for wanting your birth to go a certain way you need to be flexible and also think about your baby's health and well being.

congrats on the baby.  I hope everything works out well.  

Answer 4

Ignore the co-workers.  It's not their body, it's not their birthing experience.  If they want to talk about it just politely tell them that you aren't comfortable discussing this with them because you have differing views on the subject.

Now, before I had my first baby, I hated hospitals too.  At one point, I was crying on my birthing partner's shoulder telling him that I couldn't have the baby because I didn't want to go to the hospital.  Well, I went to the hospital and I'll tell you it was SO nice.  They have heated blankets there and I had a big room and no one could bother me unless I said it was okay and they taught me all about taking care of the baby and I was VERY pleased that I did it.  I also have a very good experience when I had my second baby at the hospital, although they wouldn't admit me until I was 4 cm dialated so I had to go home for a while.

Answer 5

They shouldn't be rude to you for your decision.  But I kind of see the point.  What if something were to go terribly wrong?  You or your child could die if you can't get to a hospital in time.  Theres nothing you can do, because no matter what your decision was, someone would have an opinion against it.

Answer 6

I stayed at home until about an hour before I had my son, not by choice, but because the hospital sent me home! I can understand you wanting to stay at home it's MUCH more comfortable, and you can walk around your house screaming and naked if you want and it doesn't matter haha! But you have to realize where your co-workers are coming from, actually they are probably looking out for you and your child, if something were to go wrong at home you might not make it to the hospital in time, so theres really 2 sides to the debate... is it too late for you to look into a midwife, or someone who would know how to handle a serious situation? You might want to look into having someone there just incase... but I totally support you wanting to stay home, trust me next time I dont want to go sit in the hospital, but I want an epidural for my next one so I have to go!

Answer 7

I just saw an interview on TV with Cindy Crawford who said she did a home birth, and she said that if something went awry she had no problem with going to the hospital, just tell your co-workers the same thing.

Homebirth Support Site:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/for...

Answer 8

IGNORE them...no one should be judging you...most docs prefer you to labor at home b/c your more relaxed and that helps the laboring process...plus are any of the people ur obgyn? ur doc would let you know if u needed to labor at the hospital..mine did, plus you could be in labor for hours, but if you feel something wrong of course you would go right in....

p.s....for next time, with the whole insurance thing u should think about a midwife or doula and that person could help you with a home birth, alot of insurance policies cover that now a days, i just found out that mine did so jut look into it, it couldnt hurt...i think the idea of birthing at home is cool. he/she will be born in the home thats filled with love and the only voices they will hear is family you know?? good luck and try not to let people bother you only a mom knows whats best for her own body and her infant

Answer 9

Definately tell them to mind their own...

I had my son at home! Loved it!

You should look into a doula. She can help at home, and continue with you to the hospital.

And if avalible...try a birthing center. Much better than hospital