Lack of communication skills: Is the mental separation of the sexes the main reason for it?

Question

What I mean, of course is the communication between men and women.

This question is inspired by this passage of the current book I am reading "The Caged Virgin" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

Although she is talking about Islam, there is a strong influence in many other cultures from the centuries of Arab domination up till the 12 century. So how much do you see this in your own culture? Is this a a greater reason for the lack of communication between men and women, more than just a difference in the way of thinking? Or perhaps the differences of ways of thinking are because of this mental separation?

Many questions in one, but I am curious

I quote directly:

"Because the disproportionally strong emphasis on "manliness" in the Muslin upbringing and because of the physical and mental separation of the sexes, men hardly have the opportunity to develop the communication skills necessary for living harmoniously within a family" (pg 3).

Answer 1

Cultural influence could play a large part.

Athenian men often sought the company of other men (as men today often do) since women were uneducated as a result of their oppression of course but the point is this difference in upbringing created a chasm that couldn't be properly bridged.

It's closed alot in modern times though and I personally find talking to a sophisticated woman quite delightful. I'd dread being married to an uneducated woman...

edit: doodlebug made a good point and in regards to the later quote I have to say it sounds suspiciously like imperialism there.. We should make an effort to bridge the gap but there is no way that "female" thought should supercede or reduce "manliness" though i'm sure that wasn't the argument anyway

Answer 2

I really don't see any lack of communication skills, I feel instead it's simply a lack of insight or education on the part of men.  

   - Like riding a horse; few are born knowing how to do it. Sometimes it takes getting out there and learning from experience, sometimes you can benefit from teaching or educating yourself from the insight of others.   'Women/Men' offer no different task.    

Answer 3

Ayaan is looking at it from one perspective; there are always more than one.  Some may not believe this, even in the Arab world communication is very important and this is a culture that is finally seeing that.  Very slowly the old way of thinking of marrying a woman for 1 reason and 1 reason only is becoming something of the past.  The women here do want the communication, as well, as the men.  Although; many enjoy being housewives and serving their husbands they want to be seen as their equal partners in all things.  

The truth about the ME is that the boys are raised as h**l raisers and the girls as submissive little servants; this has always been the old school of thought. When that's the  common thought it's no wonder true communication is hard to come by; some enter marriage not knowing what in the tar-nation to do.  However, as I said changes are being implemented.  A word of note in the Arab world there is no difference between an Arab Christian man, and, or woman, or an Arab Muslim man, and, or woman; both are incumbent upon the same culture, different religions.

Answer 4

LOL!  I love the way women presume that their kind of communication is better than men's. To take the stereotype in question:

Is talking:

1/ constantly, and 2/ about emotions

better than:

1/ saying little, and 2/ valuing reason over emotion?

These days for a man to be seen as a good communicator he must be able to communicate in the way that women prefer. If that's not gender-based prejudice I don't know what is.

Answer 5

I don't see any of this in my own culture, at least not the people I am acquainted with. I communicate with enlightened men as well as with enlightened women. I don't communicate well with Neanderthals (men and women) because I can't understand their grunts and words of more than two syllables go over their heads.

A truly good communicator is capable of communicating in various ways, depending on who he/she is communicating with.