Lack of self esteem 11 year old?

Question

I have an 11 year old who lacks self esteem she will go out of her way to be nice to others by putting herself back....like getting out of her chair while sitting with a group to allow someone else to sit in then walking away because there is no room WHAT DO I DO are there any good programs out there (Aus..NSW) tried looking on net and nothing i feel for her but i am also angry because we talk about it gently and nothing.She has one friend that i dont like because she treats her badly but my child just takes it. Nothing seems to work

7 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.

Answer 1

Apart from counselling... I have a 10 year old girl who has been doing TaeKwonDo since she was 5.  She loves to try different sports, dancing, drama and plays netball at school and touch football in season but TKD is her constant thing.  It is the one thing that has given her continuously through the years, self confidence, more friends, something she can do at her own pace, disiplince and respect for others and a fun way to exercise.

Answer 2

That was sooo me, and I just wanted people to like me.

Get her into something, outside of what she is in now. Some sport or something, and her friend is being nasty, and using her to make herself feel better. I wish my mother would have corrected it that young, because it lead to so much other stuff, like getting into boys early and such.

Make sure she knows that you guys love her, more than anything.

Get her into charity work, that makes me feel much better about myself.

It may take a while, but you have recognized it, and trying to make it better, try many things, anything until you find it, do not give up on her, and you...hang in there, that's your baby, you must be so sad.

Answer 3

I'd talk to a counselor or something. good luck! =]

Answer 4

I think every kid goes through this sort of phase.  My son sometimes get told nasty things by the neighbor kid and he comes home and cries to me and then I tell him that he should not play with him anymore.  The next day he goes next door to seek him out and they are playing again and so it goes.  My son will not retaliate because he said he doesn't like to hurt people's feelings.  He is 8 years old.  He also worries about kids hurting his feelings constantly.  What I do is reassure him that a) kids are bound to be mean and will say anything nasty to make him cry. b) that he should never, ever believe in anything these kids say because they are lies and only out to hurt him c) though what we as his parents say is true and that he is handsome, funny and intelligent and no matter what people say we are the ones telling him the truth.  This has built up his confidence that he doesn't much care now when other kids are mean.  Your daughter maybe shy also and that is why she acts that way.  It will go away as she ages.

Answer 5

I am 11 too.Maybe speak to the friends parent that make sfun of her and talk to her mom or dad to see if she has any ideas

but whatever you do just make her feel good,comfort her,try to tell her that no matter who bullies her you will always ;ove her.everyone has bullies.

Answer 6

Sounds like it's time to toughen her up a bit. Be more firm when you talk to her. You got to get it into her head that if she doesn't stop letting people walk all over her they are gonna walk all over her the rest of her life.

I think if you team up with teachers, counselor maybe even other kids, you can start teaching her to hold her ground so to speak. One thing is for sure, you can't do this by yourself. Get others to help.

Role playing games will help too. Create certain senarios and play them out in different ways and explain the outcome of each.