Lack of s*x in the relationship?

Question

Grant it, we did have a baby 9 months ago... but our s*x life is non-existing. His video games get more action than I do... plus, neither one of us are aggressive. What can I do to have a more active s*x life... He is always up early for work, and I am always in bed early. Plus we barley spend any time together (he plays a lot of video games and I am either at the gym or taking care of the baby).

Should I just give up and wait for the relationship to completely fall apart or is there things I can do to try saving this relationship and our s*x lives?

Answer 1

Well, when my ex used to get up at around 4 am, I always got up, well, I woke up to see him off to work. Try and wake up with him a little earlier so that there is plenty of time for you to do have a little early morning fun. Besides thats when a man is most horny, early in the morning. Im sure he would appriciate it! Its not like you have to get up everymorning to do this, but every few days might be a nice treat.

If your hubby takes his own lunch to work, then slip a note in the lunch pail that will make him blush, promising of future, physical activities that HE would especially enjoy.

When he is playing the video games and not paying any attention, try wearing a s**y night outfit around the house, making sure that you walk in his line of vision. Make some jokes about how you are just soooooo horny, something to make him laugh. If you make him laugh, you have his attention, then he will notice what you are doing and what you are wearing.

On days off, let grandma take the baby while you and hubby go out and enjoy each other, maybe even fool around a bit.

Make it exciting for him. Remember, you just had a baby, maybe he is feeling neglected, and needs you to pay some EXTRA SPECIAL attention to him.

I hope this helps.  I know how difficult it can be to get back on the horse after a baby. (no joke intended. lol)

Answer 2

are you married???

Answer 3

talk to him about it.. .not us

Answer 4

Schedule s*x dates with your husband. You are married, right?

Answer 5

While he is playing his game, walk right out the backdoor naked, and proclaim to the world you are ready to have s*x. He will be blown away, and will not be able to focus on his game. That's the reason you have to do something profound like that, otherwise he will just duct back down to level 69.

Answer 6

Yes been there so many times ,But what you need to do is have a long talk with him and make plans for a day a week for a family just you and him .And you would be surprised that he may feel the same way as you do .Alto of times the man will be feeling the same but they are not as eager to figure out a plan .So have a talk with him tell him how you feel and plan time for you and him .I have been married along time and all relationships goes Thur the rough lonely times but you have to make some changes .Hang in there and see how this works out don't let it end like this .Wishing you the best of luck.

Answer 7

One word...lingerie.  I don't know of any have hetro-male that doesn't spring wood on a woman in lingerie.  Get something to blow his mind or better yet, try a 'mild' s*x toy.  Hope I am not out of the guidelines on this recommendation but my girlfriend (albeit ex) bought me a rubber vibrating c**k ring.  I am 41 and it made me feel like I was 18 again.  Bottom line?  Do things differently to get different results...g'luck...

Answer 8

i say why not prepare a meal for him one evening, and get the baby to bed early, then after dinner before he has time to go to the video game console, get him in the boudoire with you, and seduce him with s**y lingerie, and soft music, try to initiate s*x with him, if he's not the one initiating it then its time for you to put on the moves, sometimes, in marriages s*x can become boring, i know from first hand, my husband and i have been married 6yrs today, today is our anniversary ,and we just came back from our weekend getaway, which was soo desperately needed, i own a business, and he works 13-14 hrs a day, so by the time he's at home i am pooped and so is he, so there has been times when we had to schedule s*x, i know it sounds silly having to schedule s*x w/ur husband, but that's the only way we can get some from one another, but today was an eye opener for us both, this anniversary trip was a sure wake up call, which taught is both that we need to spend more and more QT together.We cannot wait for events or anniversaries, birthdays etc, to come around just so that we can spend some romantic times with one another.We went away this weekend and just now got back and it was wonderful, we had lots and lots of s*x, and it reminded us of how life used to be when careers didn't come and take over our lives, so now i have made a promise to not allow my business to come and take over my life anymore, and he has promised to not spend all that time @ work anymore, he'll be home earlier, and i would allow my workers to take over more, as opposed of me being there all the time,So in saying all this i say don't wait fo your marriage to wither and fall, try at it now, if the spice is lacking in it, then bring it back, u guys need it, you need intimacy every now and then, so be there for him and let him be there for u too, sexually! GL to you both!

Answer 9

The 1st thing you need to do is talk to him. Take him out to dinner (alone) and express the same concerns you expressed here. Agree to set aside one night a weekend to date each other again. When my kids were young, we traded babysitting nights with our neighbors who had kids the same age. Every couple goes through this after a baby. You both have to actively decide whether it's going to ruin your marriage or not. You do have a say in the matter.  

Answer 10

Play a video game with him, ask him to go to the gym with you, invite him into the baby actions, like play with the child too. You know one leads to another(smile). You got that child some way. Don't make up excuses now(smile).

Answer 11

Is your marriage worth fighting for or are you one of those who will just throw in the towel when times get tough?  The vows say for better, for worse and it sounds like you are going through a little of the worse times.  What video game is worth more than your marriage?  Take the intuitive and interrupt his game.  Don't go to the gym one night.  Plan the evening to focus on him and your marriage.  Unplug the game and hide as many as you can find.  Tell him that the evening is for the two of you.

Answer 12

Sit in the same room as him when he is playing his games and start teasing yourself...if that doesn't get his blood boiling then you know he has more interest in the game then you...

Answer 13

We too had a baby 9 months ago. And from week 4 postpartum, we have gotten back into having very regular s*x.

We go to bed together. We play video games together. We take care of the baby together. We do everything together...its just what we do.

I guess its time you threw out the game system. Its either he kisses that good bye or you. Its his choice really. He didn't marry video games ( unless your not married? ) he married you. And together, after this system is in the garbage and on the way to the dump, you will sit down together and start talking about your relationship. And I mean really talk about it. Ask him some really hard questions. And have him ask you the same questions.

You need to start doing things together. The video games have to go. And they need to go tonight.  Throw them away when he is in bed.

Go to lovingyou.com they have a lot of really fabulous ideas. Its a web site for couples.

Start making this relationship important to you.

And make him get with it too.

If he refuses, then tell him, sorry about your luck, I will find someone who values me, our relationship and everything that that entails and will be apart of my life on a daily basis. And that doesn't mean living under the same roof.

Time to play hard ball. If you want something bad enough you will go after it.