Ladies, I need to vent...?

Question

Ok so long story short my hubby & I have been TTC for 2 years.

I have had this friend off & on since 8th grade. After highschool we both had babies & became friends again. She moved to flordia to be with her hubby & baby. But moved back here without her baby or hubby. Well I didnt judge her the first time. I thought she new what she was doing. Then she met this guy (she was still married BTW) moved in with him within like 2 weeks of knowing him. Then found out she was pregnant the month after.

I couldnt bring myself to want to talk to her anymore. I couldnt beleive what she had done. She wasnt worried about her child anymore. It was like this guy had her wrapped around his little finger.

Well they brake up she ends up losing the baby. She goes back to her hubby & all is good.

Well again, she decides that shes leaving them & coming home. She again jumps right back in with this same guy.

So I was like I cant sit back & watch her do this to herself or her son. So I just up cold turkey stop talking to her.

She knows how hard we've been trying to have a baby....

& this is what she writes to me....

Where to being here? Ill never understand what i did wrong, but true friends dont walk out when some1 needs them the most and thats what you did! I thought you would never do that to me. I made a decision FOR MY CHILD not for any1 else.. im sorry i was never good enough to please you, but that shows you were never the friend i thought u were. Hope your life turns out the way you want it to, but its not lookin that way right now!

I know I should have told her how I felt. But I just couldnt! I know she wouldnt understand. I've tried to talk to her.

I cant get over what she wrote to me! I feel like a horribel person. But then I cant beleive what she said....

I'm sad & I needed to vent =(

Any advice or anything would be great!

Answer 1

im only 13 but it seems to me like you need to talk to her but just to say your sorry and that you feel bad and your not a bad person for doing that im sorry you feel that way just tell her even if she doesent get it at least you know yourself that you said something or wirte her would be beter just never blame your self you sound sooooo strong and sooo goodwilled ok so just say to her whats goin on ok but remember (in writing) unless you really want to talk to her

Answer 2

You did the right thing....and it is hard to do the right thing but your character/morals are good.  You do need to tell her how you feel in a simple email.  You simply need to say, "I This has nothing to do with how my life is going....and I was a good friend to you.  However, I thought you were being irresponsible by getting pregnant while you were still married  to someone else and also leaving your child for the second time.  I think it shows really poor character and you need to grow up and stop being so selfish.  I feel sorry for your child and I am sorry your think I turned my back on you but I am not going to support your actions when they don't feel good to me.  If you want to talk, I am hear for you but I thought you should know my honest feelings and why I stopped calling. "  

Answer 3

I'm in a similar position as you. But, my husband now hates my best friend and she's making very poor choices in her life right now (she's preggers also) and with us TTC, it makes it harder on me...

You did the right thing! I am still trying to figure out how to tell my friend, if at all. I know exactly where you are coming from though, how do you tell someone who isn't going to understand?! She is just bitter and doesn't understand (obviously). With your husband and yourself TTC and move forward with your future, you really don't need someone like that in your life whether they influence you or not. I think my friend would act the same way as yours if I didn't talk to her anymore. I know it's very hard, but just remember you did the best thing for yourself and you have your husband and other friends I'm sure that are good people to surround yourself with. I hope you feel better =[

Answer 4

Too long to read, honey.