Ladies, I need your opinions (about o****m)!?

Question

Hi ladies,

I need your opinions on the following 2 matters:

1. My girlfriend and I are both virgins (I'm 24, and she's 20), and we have decided to make love after we get married because we don't want to go against our Christian beliefs. We were discussing about s*x, and I had a stray thought and told her "you know, I trully love you, and when we get married I will do anything to pleasure you all your life. I care about your pleasure more than my own. I trully hope I will manage to learn techniques to delay my ejaculation so I will have a lot more chance to make you o****m every single time we make love."

Being the super worrying type that she is, she started to get worried and somehow depressive about it. She started to get so scared and wondered if I would ejaculate before she orgasms; she started worrying if our marriage would be boring, bla bla bla. I convinced her that it was just my stray thought, and doesn't mean I wouldn't give her o****m, but I couldn't seem to convince her. I even told her I would learn about her body as much as I can, and that I would learn techniques to make sure I won't ejaculate prematurely. But she got annoyed about it, and she said she didn't like how I said the word "learn", because she expects me to give her an o****m the very FIRST night we have s*x on our wedding day (we plan to get married in about 2 or 3 years). She also said she would only like o****m through intercourse, and not by my oralling or fingering her.

Then she started to cry (literally) >_<.

I feel really bad now.....I mean is it my fault? First, I've never had s*x, and it's natural that I need to learn these things, I believe. Secondly, women differ from one to another anyway, so EVEN IF I successfully made a woman o****m before, I think I would still need to learn my girlfriend's body again, since everyone is different.

I wish she'd just relax a bit more....

2. As you are all aware of, if a man "goes at it" when having s*x, he will ejaculate prematurely, and that's not a good thing at all, because I know that we have to be considerate to our woman too. I think we (men) should learn how to delay ejaculation as much as possible, so that our private part stays hard longer, which means more chance to give an o****m to a woman.

Some delaying techniques that I can think of:

- penetrating less quickly

- trying other positions

- doing other forms of stimulations, such as with our fingers or mouth at the woman's clitoral area

- pretty much anything to delay ejaculation

but, I'm curious....if I perform the delay techniques above, would it still maintain her level of arousal? In other words, what if I delay and then her excitement goes back to zero? Or is this not the case? Is women o****m something that builds up over time, so that no matter if I delay, as long as I continue the s*x and stimulation (especially to her G-spot), she will eventually o****m?

I know some of you will probably make fun of me for being a 24 year old virgin, in which case please don't reply to this thread. Sincere and honest opinions only please.

Thanks!

Answer 1

speaking as a middle aged woman with experience.

1 vaginal penetration does not usually result in o****m so she is not being reasonable.

2 if you do ejaculate prematurely there are other ways to satisfy her.

3 she sounds like she is being a bt unreasonable. You are being concerned for her happiness and fulfillment and she is upset about that. That makes no sence to me.

You sound like a very considerate and thoughtful man tell her not to worry s*x isn&#039;t gonna happen for a couple years anyway.

Answer 2

It&#039;s really sad that she knows nothing about s*x or her body, but expects you to be an expert the first time.  MOST women do NOT have an o****m through sexual intercourse.  Some never have one.  The ones that do, sometimes have to wait until they are 30 or after they have their first baby.  For women it requires direct manual, oral, or toy stimulation to her clitoris..

.

The first time can be painful when the hymen breaks upon penetration. There can also be some blood. Not all girls bleed and not all have pain. I never bled but there was a lot of pain.

For some, the first few times might make her feel sore, as it&#039;s been an unused muscle or even hurt if she&#039;s not properly lubricated, or her body isn&#039;t fully aroused or ready.

Relaxing, foreplay, (oral s*x, more foreplay – touching, kissing, etc) being fully aroused or better yet, HER having an o****m FIRST or using a lubricant like KY-Jelly or Astro-Glide can help.

For you if it&#039;s a problem:

In general, practice and relaxation will help you deal with the problem. Some men try to distract themselves by thinking non-sexual thoughts (such as naming baseball players and records) to avoid becoming excited too fast.

Some helpful techniques include the following:

m********e an hour or so before having s*x.

The &quot;stop and start&quot; method:

This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. The stimulation is then removed for about thirty seconds and then may be resumed. The sequence is repeated until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.

The &quot;squeeze&quot; method:

This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the p***s (where the glans meets the shaft) for several seconds, withholding further sexual stimulation for about 30 seconds, and then resuming stimulation. The sequence may be repeated by the person or couple until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.

.

Buy the Joy of s*x, read all you can, search the internet about G-spot.  But I&#039;ll tell you straight up, practice is what makes s*x good, being emotional, intimately bonded with your partner, love, saftey and the willingness to learn what the other likes before, during and after s*x.

She has high expectations and is already setting you up for failure.  Show her my answer and if she&#039;s not rethinking how she feels, send her here:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rll...   or here

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlp...

Answer 3

These two articles discuss having s*x as a married couple. You can read them together before the big night :)

How to Locate the G Spot During s*x- From Behind

http://www.ehow.com/how_4448654_locate-g...

How to Locate the G Spot During s*x- Missionary Position

http://www.ehow.com/how_4451153_locate-g...

Hope they answer your questions!

Answer 4

Man you are sooo sweet.  i have never heard a man be soo concerned about his partner during s*x instead of yourself.  With the way she reacted I would  have become quite mad she should be flattered.  YOu did not deserve that and she seems very picky.  I&#039;m sorry you fell in love with someone that doesn&#039;t appreciate you as much as you do her.  Good Luck because what ever you learn i know will help satisfy her and tell her she should be more appreciative.  Oh and i forgot to mention,  about how much she is aroused.  If you have her about to o****m and stop her excitement shouldnt go down.  If anyhting it creates anticipation, but dont wait more than a couple minutes.  Then when you start again it would be a prime time to give her an o****m.  Good luck again.  d**n why do all the good men have to be taken!

Answer 5

I respect you both for being true to your beliefs and waiting for marriage. Not a personal belief of my own, but still commendable.

It sounds like you&#039;re trying to be a good guy here, but she might be a little unreasonable. No matter how much you love each other, the first time is most likely going to be awkward and a little dissapointing. Even if you are not a virgin the first time with someone is not always the best. It takes time to learn what someone likes. And being a virgin herself she doesn&#039;t even know what she likes yet. So she&#039;s being a little unrealistic to think she&#039;ll o****m the first time. She might, but unlikely.

Plus if she is really uptight or stressed about it, it deffinitely won&#039;t happen. She needs to relax and realize you guys will have a lifetime of trying to figure out how to please each other.

As far as holding back goes, you need to start training. And yes I am talking aboust masturbation. You need to feel what it&#039;s like to get to the edge and stop yourself before you climax. Doing this also helps builds the muscles that control o****m. You can also work them by stopping to pee midstream. Once you get a feel for the right muscles you can even flex them while driving or sitting at work.

But like anything else, being good at s*x takes work, practice, and a little knowledge. Good luck to you guys and just tell her to relax and enjoy it. Good things come in time.

Answer 6

Good luck, and I you guys will be able to wait.