Ladies, gentlemen and married couples please help ME.

Question

This girl at my work whom I like because she's beautiful, caring, and hard working. Around about 2 months, she and her boyfriend are fighting and she has been going to work angry, sad, and sometime crying. It's apparent that she's angry because her boyfriend all he wants to do is go home from work, watch tv, and playing with his xbox and he also drifting and doesn't have plans for his life. He doesn't do anything but glue his eyes and hands on the tv and controller. Since I like her a lot, i want to convince her to dump her boyfriend to be with me since she and I have a thing for each other. Being with her is completely different from being with other women, she makes me feel special, smart, and happy. But it also come into a conflict with belief that I dont date a women with kids and since she's already have 2 kids with her boyfriend and I dont want to break that up because she and him already been dated for 8 years. I want her to be with me because I know that I can make her happy and help her raise the kids properly. At one end I dont want to be with her because she have 2 kids but at the other end, I like her so much and want her to be with me. I really dont know what to do

Please help me!

Answer 1

I say be a really good friend try to help her see if it will work out between them...if not tell her you love her and your willing to do anything even help raise the kids....if your really ready for that...from there see if it works out but most women are not gonna stay with a guy who dosnt care about the kids or try to help...so you show you care...she'll see she deserves better....

Answer 2

If you care for her, and hope to care for her kids, be a friend for now. Thats it. If it doesnt work out w hubby, give her support but be honest with her, tell her after the breakup IF there is one, that you have an interest, and once she feeld she is ready you would like a date. But AFTER, breakup, after cooloing of period.

Answer 3

If you really and truly love her than her kids won't be an issue.  

Answer 4

well as you know there are 2 things you can do. leave her alone and let her deal with her own life. she can make her own choice.  or you can fight for her and be with her and her kids. but remember you will have to deal with the ex too. you can only know what you can deal with.  

Answer 5

youve already established that you want her to be with you, but What does she want?

You have to some how establish that she is going to be happier spending her life with you.  How do you make her feel?  What makes you different than other men.? you have to make her believe that you are better than the other guy. Be persistent(and dogmatic)

Answer 6

You need to sit with her and talk but before that you need to see if you want this.  to accept the children.  before you do something.  Tell her how you feel.  But you both need tothink in the children first.  good luck

Answer 7

well energ, there are several ways of looking at this.  First, how do you even know she's "really" interested in you in that way?  I'm a married woman, and I have went to work like that lots but it doesn't mean I love my husband any less, it just makes me in a pissy mood.  2nd) is this love or "lust" that you feel for her.  Lust can make us feel reeeaaaallly good about ourselves and others, but unfortunately it is very short lived and tends to go by the way side when the going gets rough.  Which leads me to the 3rd point.  Taking on a woman with all the extras that you have described is a ton of obligation, and even if hypothetically she left her boyfriend/husband for you he is inevitably going to be in the picture for the rest of your lives due to the children.  I think you need to step back a bit from the situation and consider if it's just your male ego wanting to play superman, swoop down and save the damsal in distress, or if you really are in "love".  I think you need to stick to your first instinct or "belief" that she has kids and blah, blah, blah, whatever you said.  Good luck bud.

Answer 8

If her boyfriend makes her feel that way, then its true,YOU should be the one to be with her. Get her out of that situation, shes probably going to be abused next. Help her to leave him, reassure her that you will be there for her, and her kids. Sometimes abused women, especially the ones with kids, are afraid to be alone. If you truely care for  her like  you say you do, then you will be her knight in shining armor and get her out of that situation. good luck to you my friend, I truely hope you can help  her.

Answer 9

If this relationship has lasted 8 years and there are 2 children involved, this girl is very attached to her life.

I know it's hard to understand, and it is hard to explain, but a woman would rather be with a unsatisfying man that she already knows well because she already knows what to expect.

You say you "want her to be with you" but have you asked yourself what special, particular things you have to offer her? I don't mean to be harsh or rude, but a woman will internally be asking you "What do you have that makes you so special?" You've already mentioned you're not crazy about her having 2 children.



It seems to me you have some kind of a "savior" complex, and let me tell you, that never works out in the end. After a couple of years in, the things about her that you wanted to "save" will be the very things that will have you getting second thoughts, and you will be the one backing out in the end, leaving this girl in a heap of s**t. I've had this happen with 2 men like you before.

If you really care about her, be a true friend and listen to her, be there for her. If you show yourself to be honest and loving, she will come to you.

This is not something you can just swoop in like superman and save. This is a relationship, a home, *her* relationship, *her* home, and the decisions about it need to be taken by her.  

Answer 10

just be there for her.. don't tell her to break up with him.  she will see it soon enough.  Don't push yourself on her it will push her away.