Ladies-Do you have a secret stash?

Question

I am a married mother of 3.It has come to my attention lately that lots of married women I know have a secret stash of money for them and the kids should their marriage break up etc.For some it's quite substantial! I don't have one at all,do you have one, and if so how much, and should I have one?

Answer 1

when I was married for the first time I didn't until I realized we needed to split and then I started tucking it away.

Since them I have always kept my own accounts

Answer 2

I have a stash, but its not a secret. Its some money that I have from way before we were married. Its not put aside in the even of a divorce, its just put aside for myself and what I want, because I've had it since before I even met my husband. I take a little out every now and then for a massage or a manicure. That's all. If you want to have a secret stash, its always a good idea. But, if your husband finds out, he could very easily feel offended by that (I know I would). I could imagine a lot of situations where that would come in handy, such as in a messy divorce, where some guys withdraw all money from accounts. Or when the husband spends all of the money away without the wife knowing. Or when the wife needs to make a quick getaway without the husband being tipped off (such as in abusive relationships). If you fear those things, set aside some for some piece of mind. $10,000 sounds like a decent amount to me, enough to get away, get settled down in an apartment or with a family member, allow time to get a job if necessary, pay bills, and pay legal fees. Hope that helps.

Answer 3

Nope.  I do not have one.  If we ever break up, I'm taking my half anyway.  I don't feel that hiding money from your spouse is conducive to having a good relationship with them.

Answer 4

I've always had a stash, although not for that reason.  Guys just don't understand how much woman's hair style costs, how sometimes McDonalds is the only way to keep your sanity with little kids, or how sometimes you just need a treat for yourself.  

It's no secret, and it's not a lot - it's cash skimmed from family leaving change in pockets on laundry day, leftover cash in the wallet at the end of the week or money returned from friends borrowing.  

Answer 5

I do not have a stash...  I think weather or not a person has a stash tells alot about weather or not the marriage is going to work.  If you expect it to end it will.  If you prepare for it to end it will.  WE have a secret stash we call our emergency relief fund it is untouchable money unless a unexpected large expence accures....  

Answer 6

No...... never thought of this. It's our money, and I can take some from the bank account that we share.

Answer 7

I don't have a stash I just don't feel right about it. I don't like keeping secrets from my husband I guess......

Answer 8

I have $2700 in a safe that my husband knows about and has access to. If **** goes bad it's mine!

Answer 9

I have one. Just stared it a few months back but it's in a bank that my husband isn't under, under my maiden name and it has abou $600 in it so far. No kids yet but by the time I do have them, I'll have a good amount in it. It's just a "what-if" thing. Military men aren't always faithful so I have to keep my options open. Every woman should keep her options open. Always let your man that you love him and worship him but keep your independence. It's something that no one can ever take.

-Later Gator-

Answer 10

No but I'm going back to work soon.  It should add up pretty fast.  My husband spends money like it's growing on trees.  I'll tell him I have it but he can't touch it.

Answer 11

I don't have one either but I think it's a good idea and lately I've been thinking of starting my own secret savings. I don't feel my husband and I are going to break up in any way but I was thinking maybe I'd like to have some money on hand in case of an emergency or if he was hurt in an accident, etc. - One of my friends was left stranded without money because her fiance was in a horrible accident and he had sole access to the account they shared and she didn't. She liked having him take care of the funds but this guy almost died and was unconscious for almost a week in the ICU. She has two kids and had to borrow money just to eat and put gas in her car until her fiance woke up. I think about stuff like this and it makes me shudder! It also makes me think I should stash my own money just in case something might happen. You never know! My husband and I have always had seperate bank accounts because I have way better credit and am much better with money. We each pay certain bills for the household. I was thinking of starting to save about $75.00 to $100.00 a month and not touch it. I think it's a good idea!

Answer 12

I have a stash, but it's no secret

Answer 13

Nope.  I don't have one.  It's a good idea if you're married to an abusive jerk and need to protect yourself.  Otherwise, you are just setting up more reasons to break up.  Why get married if you feel you may need a way out later?  Marriage is meant to be a permanent decision and hopefully you went into it truly knowing your husband, and knowing he would never give you any good reason to leave.

Answer 14

no i don,t have one,but if i did i wouldn,t lie to my husband about it,it would be a mutual thing and if i left i would take my share

Answer 15

I have several thousand put away.  Most of it is in a mutual fund.

It is not a secret.

Answer 16

No i dont and i wouldn't cause i'm not that dishonest to hide money from my husband.

Answer 17

no i dont.  but only cuz i cant afford savings right now lol.  and if i did have a secret stash, it wouldnt be so that i could leave him if i wanted to, it would be for emergency situations, or family vacations.  if you feel that you need to save money "just in case you want to leave"  you should take a long hard look at your relationship.  

Answer 18

i think every woman should have some money stashed somewhere

when i was married the first time, i trusted him and when he left, he left with everything, even our childrens' savings

i now have a good little stash (i won't say how much) that i can turn to, should i need to, and if i never need to, well, it's there for retirement!

Answer 19

I think every woman should have a stash whether it's secret or not.

Answer 20

Yes you should have one, ...its called a plan B just in case things don't go right financially. Not because a break-up may happen. Start off gradually.

Open up an account and have 5-10 dollars go directly to that account, after a while ou won't miss it. And when your about to increase it, do so. To 20, 40, and 60 dollars. It'll teach you how to manage your money better, and you'll be thankful you did it.

Much luck hun.

Answer 21

When I got a raise two years ago, I set up a bank account with direct deposit, putting the amount of my raise into savings each payday.  It's not much, only about $100 a month, but also money for Christmas and birthday presents, and those days when I just need a massage... He has his secret stash, so why shouldn't I have mine?

Answer 22

No. All my money went to my kids' needs when they were young. My EX was the one with a secret stash- he had 5,000 I didn't know about to re-start his life with the slutt he left me for.

Having something like that is an indication that they EXPECT things to go sour.  

Answer 23

I have 5000 put up.  Its not much, but it would get me through a couple months.  its not secret though.  He knows I have it and how much it is.

I personally think everyone should have one.  Not just incase the marriage breaks up, but in case of severe emergencies. Like the kind that if you dont have that money your family is going to be on the street type emergency.  There are a million and one other things that could come up.  But its not something to dig into to help afford the vaca I want, or to bail me out of not having enough money to eat out.  It really is severe emergency use only.

Answer 24

nope no secret stash here. I also don't think its right to hide money.  

Answer 25

I have a secret stash but its not if things don't work out but its just in case of anything happens.  I think everyone should have at least 10 grand sitting just in case.  

If the marriage works out, great.  If it doesn't then you have some comfort of a back up and knowing you and your children will not starve.

You should start one.  Just open a savings account and put in a certain amount every month.  Easy.

It will make a big difference when its needed.