Ladies: Has anyone ever had an In-Law(s) present during their child birth?

Question

I would like to hear good and bad stories.

My Mother-In-Law and I had a mutual distaste for each other in the beginning of out relationship. She wanted to control our relationship, we wouldn't let her, thus I became evil. However, things are looking brighter these days and I'm thankful. Now that I'm expecting, I've very curious to see how she will behave... What's it like to have an in-law or in-laws in the delivery room?

Answer 1

I would never want my in-laws in the room w/me.  It's a long story, but to make it simple, his step-mother is like the mother on Cinderella evil!!!  I've had a few friends that had their in-laws in the room.  I would say it depends how comfortable you feel having her there.  If I was really close to my in laws I might be okay w/it.  Conveniently, where I delivered my daughter only 2 people were allowed in the room....my mom & husband.  So I didn't have to worry about them asking!

Answer 2

As a mother-in-law  I'm not sure I would of been comfortable in the delivery room.   My daughter-in-laws mother was as well as my son.  That was OK with me, but I was given the honor of holding my grandchildren first.

We were in the waiting room, so it was a very short time before mommy and baby where cleaned up.

That was my special honor and I cherish that.  They remembered my feelings. So often daughter-in-laws forget their mother-in-laws are moms too.  We  are no less a mom just because we gave birth to sons.  

Maybe you could compromise in some way.  Just don't forget her feelings for her grandchildren no matter how you feel about her.  

Personally I think it should be the husband and wife together.  That's it.  That's how the baby was conceived, right???  

Answer 3

I'm trying to get mine not to come and stay with us right after the baby is born. thought I'm more worried about my father in law... crazy man. though they should let you have some say in the delivery room.

Answer 4

When I had my son I had an emergency c-section and the only one who I wanted in there with me was my mom becaue I was scared out of my mind.  I had my daughter naturally and I had my mom and my mother-in-law in the room with me when I had her...it was a little hectic...but not bad...they both helped me out alot.  

Congrats and good luck!!!

Answer 5

I had my then at the time, boyfriend's mom - now my MIL in with me during my 1st.  Only b/c I was 18, boyfriend, now hubby was in there he was scared although he'd never admit it, MIL kind of took charge and helped us through it.  It wasn't all that bad.  We have a pretty good realtionship still.

With my 2nd - I had my mom in there with me.

With my 3rd (and last)  - it was just me and hubby!  It was nice.  It was special.  We created her by ourselves and got to meet her by ourselves.  I kind of wish we would've done it that way with the other two.

Bottom line - whatever you are comfortable with - do.

If you don't want her in there - if you don't get along with her anyways - trust me you won't want her in there adding to your stress and pain levels.

Answer 6

It is all up to you.How close are you?Are you comfortable enough to have her around for some of the most special and private moments in your life?Something to think about really.I had it the way I have always thought is should be,just me & hubby.If I ever had anyone else it would be my sister.I am not close enough to my mother to consider having her in there and my mil gets on my nerves too much..I do love how everyone says you won't care who is there,maybe they didnt but I know I cared.

Answer 7

I'm not pregnant, nor have any children, however, I WILL NOT have my mother-in-law in the delivery room when I do become pregnant.  My hubby and I have a good relationship with both sets of parents, but I am not sure that I want my own mother either.  I was there for my niece's birth, and I think I would love to have my mom there for me after baby is cleaned up and stuff.  I think that will be time for me and my husband to experience it together as first time parents.  Then we will share him/her with the rest of the family that have been waiting so graciously in the waiting room :) Good luck and you do whatever makes you feel comfortable and don't back down! She will be so grateful once baby is here that she won't care if she was present for the bloody mess or not! :)  

Answer 8

i had my boyfriend's parents (i gues its not exactly in laws) in the room with me and they were really well behaved, they were excited and nervous and quiet so it worked out good.

Answer 9

mine werent interested.... but were there during contractions... my mom in law and i had the same type of beginning and since she's seen how great of a mom i am things have been WONDERFUL!  Hope the same happens for you, I know a baby can make or break the daughter in law and mother in law relationships

Answer 10

granted i am not a ladie, but i am a daddy, so please give me the benifit of the doubt.  who is in your delivery room should be entirely up to you.  having your mother-in-law in the room would depend on the relationship you have with her.  my mother was in the delivery room for my first child and plans to be there when my wife delivers our baby girl in december.  search her intentions:  is she being supportive or intrusive?

Answer 11

I have to say "Don't do it!"  

Answer 12

Your experience will depend on what exact role you want your in-law(s) to have in the delivery room.  Are they going to be there for the whole thing, or just stop by every once in a while?  The way I did it was I had my husband as my main support person, and my mom was there to give him a break when he needed it.  My in-laws were in the waiting room, but came by the delivery room occasionally to give me moral support.  I think that worked out very well, but I should add that it was very tiring to have an onslaught of visitors in the delivery room.

Remember that ultimately, your birth experience should be what you and your husband want.  However, it might not hurt to talk with your in-laws and see what their opinions are about spending a significant amount of time with a woman in labor.  :)  A few months ago, I thought that my mother-in-law would have really wanted to be in the delivery room, but it turned out she wasn't crazy about the idea.  She wasn't comfortable seeing me in pain, and she figured my mom and hubby would do a better job of supporting me.  I would not have known this if I hadn't asked her.  Do be careful how you ask though - don't give anyone the impression that their presence in the delivery room is a foregone conclusion.

Hope this helps, and best of luck.  You'll do great!

Answer 13

You're braver than me. I already made it clear that my mother-in-law is not going to be in the delivery room.

Answer 14

At first, I wanted only my husband in the room with me. Then, after awhile, I decided that my mother and sister would be fine in the room with me. While I was in labor (52 hours of regular labor) my sister called family, and told everyone that they needed to stay at home, do not show up at the hospital. Well, wouldn't you know, my dad's girlfriend, who I hardly knew, showed up, towing my dad behind. It wasn't half as bad as I had thought, so, I had my husband tell his mother to come up if she wanted, but she never showed. After some of the comments she made about our second (we just got pregnant again), I don't think I want her there the second time around either.

Answer 15

I loved my mother in law so much, and I would have asked her to be in the delivery room, but she passed away about 15 wks before our child was born.  I would have asked her before my mom, probably.  It really just depends on the relationship.  Just know that once you are in labor and pushing, you will not care who is there and who isnt. you will be too focused.  Good luck and go with your heart!  If you think it will help the relationship, and thats what you want, go for it!

Answer 16

I get along well with my boyfriends parents, but they will NOT be in the delivery room. That is extremely personal and should be between the parents, and no one else.