Ladies...I am heartbroken.... would love some help?

Question

My long time GF and I had been dating for 8 months. We were doing well and had said we loved each other, had given each other promise rings and visited families etc. We are both 20 and in college. As our relationship grew she insisted on spending every minute of the day together and it did not bother me until we had to leave for the summer. She was going to an internship she had in NYC which she was very proud of and I was just going home. The first week or 2 away was ok but when she got up in NYC and we started arguing we got into 2 fights.. (both my fault I would assume) and I was acting like a jerk and being unsupportive. I told her it was not me and the distance was making me act out and that I just needed a little time to adjust to the situation. She said no and broke up with me a day later. The next few weeks I worked my *** off to try to get her back, I did summer school assigments for us both when she was busy, I sent her little small gifts, I wrote letters and e-mails during the day to try to make her smile etc. For the next few weeks after we broke up, when she would call, she would be bitter and hateful towards me and finally she called and said we never have a chance of getting back together and she wanted nothing to do with me etc. About a week later I started seeing another girl and when my now EX found out she flipped out and cried and said she always thought we would get back together...so I dumped the new GF. Well, as soon as I did that the communication between myself and the EX stopped.... I still sent her letters and little items of affection here and there but I never heard from her. About early August we started to talk a little again, she said she missed me, was thinking about me etc. I also started letting her make first contact rather it be a phone call, text, or IM. Anyway, we will be back at school in a few days and I wanted to see if she wanted to get dinner .... she said that it would not be healthy, she thinks she does not have feelings for me anymore, she is in a good mental state, etc. I finally got her to agree to go after saying that if she does not have feelings then how could a dinner hurt? MY questions are, 1. does she still have feelings? 2. Was all this completely my fault? 3. How should I handle the dinner?

Answer 1

Never Give up just keep trying

Answer 2

1.  Does she still have feelings - she might but she sounds very unstable (be careful)

2.  It is not completely your fault.  It takes two to tango.  Take responsibility for yourself but her actions and emotions are hers to own and manage constructively

3.  Keep it cool and casual.  Don't expect anything.  

Answer 3

1. They always have feelings. About everything. They are like the newborn in the crib that gets fascinated w the mobile.  2. Its ALWAYS our fault. Even when it really isnt. They (she) will twist everything into being your fault. Your unsupportive and aloof. Blah, blah, blah. 3. Dinner. Do you want her back? No? Either way, dont let her have the upper hand. Make her pay half and for Gods sake. Dont do her. This gives her the upper hand. Sure, I will get plenty of feminazi's who will tell you i'm mean. But you handled this whole situation like a mature adult. Girls arent the only ones w rights. Be respectful but demand the same. And I dont mean "upper hand" in a non-respectful way. TRell her your needs. She tells you hers. If they mesh. Perfect. If they dont. Bail.

Answer 4

Drop the drama queen.

She's creating negative scenarios to see how far along she can drag you around.

Then you meet someone new, and she's upset that you won't bend over backwards for her.

Find a gal that's more emotionally mature and won't play games.

Answer 5

1. I don't think she has feeling for you and she is playing with your emotions. Think about it. You both were fine before she went to NYC. Ask yourself what changed. Is it possible she met someone in NYC and that made her change the way she feels for you.

2. No, do not blame yourself because you went out of your way to try to work things out. Once you break up a couple of times the relationship is never the same way as the first time. Don't bother.

3. If I were you, I would not bother with dinner. It didn't work so leave it at that. You started dating and obiviously she got jealous. Move on and let by gones be by gones. She is going to start crying and you will take her back and break up again. Trust me...

I wish you the best and there is plenty of girls out there. College is a whole new football field.  

Answer 6

Clearly she still has feelings for you, because of the way she acted when you got a new girlfriend, i think that she's scared to admit she was wrong, and admit she always had feelings for you. Also none of this is your fault, she should understand that you needed time, instead of automatically dumping you, cause if she was a good person she would have understood your thoughts of wanting to take a break, and stuff. Also during dinner dont put out there that your still trying to be with her, make her think that you got over her, and she'll eventually be like, well i've noticed that i want to be with him, and will want you. Kinda play hard to get, girls like that. :]

And good luck, mann.

Answer 7

Move on! She isn't happy with you nor is she happy without you!

She's playing games to see how big of an idiot you really are.  She doesn't want you nor does she want anyone else to have you. Let her go now  before you end up with a shattered heart. You're too nice and too gullible.Her actions are screaming at you. Now it's up to you to listen.

Good Luck

Answer 8

You my dear fellow are a boyfriend of convince. She is a control freak and she has you hook line and sinker. She does not have feelings for you and never did, Your fault was believing everything she said. And as for dinner cancel it. She has already proved she can manipulate you to do her bidding and she will try it again. Never contact her again. Get on with your life, find yourself a good woman and settle into a normal relationship. You don't want a woman who will use you as a door mat at every opportunity.  You deserve better in life .