Ladies: Is this poem i wrote for my girl friend any good? ?

Question

Ive stolen countless breaths

from this world i am living in

this journey I'm on

i did not consent too

and i have not embraced

or even bothered to taste

the sweet aroma of meaning

i stumbled upon you accidentally

i was not in search of you

i was in search of me

but everything changed

when i looked into your eyes

elusive and transparent

i could see the depths of your heart

and for a split second

i forgot to breath

and at the same time as yours

my heart skipped a beat

your beauty was overwhelming

instantaneous love out of a dream

an angel had lifted me off of my feet

words don't do justice to the beauty i saw

her beauty and grace left my heart in awe

her lips were soft and her voice was sweet

her fingers trembled when they first touched me

our eyes met and i heard her speak

i listened to her and my heart began to wept

god gave me what i was praying for

in the chamber of life you unlocked the door

today was the day i was waiting for

my search for meaning in life was no more

Trevor

Answer 1

Some parts were good...but I won't really call that a poem...that is just a mere expression of your emotions in a quite direct and...rough manner I didn't like it that much, but your gf might.

Answer 2

It is very good

Answer 3

Aww yes, is it <i>GOOD</i>? It's fantastic, if you are even doubting the worth of this poem think again. I'm sure she'll love it, seriously. It has so much more than most poetry. You are very talented and she is very lucky :) Do you do anything in perticular to put yourself into the mindset for writing poetry? What inspires you? (Sorry for answering the question with a question :/ but I really would like to know) Although 'my heart began to wept' needs something altered a little. May you continue to write excelent poetry.

Answer 4

Definitely! I really actually liked it... its not just a poem, its a story too. Its great!

Answer 5

Beautiful. Your girlfriend is very, very lucky.