Ladies Only. Why would my ex-wife who I have hated for over 25 years suddenly call me?

Question

And tell me that she realized it was her fault that we got divorced and that she wanted me to forgive her? She recently married some rich old guy who is 10 years older than she is (she told me this since I had not seen or heard from her in over 20 years) which leaves me wondering what she's up to? She asked if she could call me once in a while and I told her I would prefer she didn't. I'm not married but I also don't want to be her wailing wall. We added new meaning to the term "messy divorce" and I really want to change my phone number and never hear from her again. Am I being selfish?

Answer 1

Maybe she just wanted closure?

Answer 2

25 years?!? Time to forgive...you don't have to be her friend or ever talk to her again, but for your own health and growth; you should forgive. Holding grudges doesn't hurt anyone but yourself in the long run.

Answer 3

no... but u could tell her what u really feel..without changing phones etc.

Answer 4

No you're not being selfish, You just did the right thing.  It seems that your wife may have found flaws in her new husband and has compared him to you and may have found you a lot more desirable than him. And good for you for not giving her a chance. JAO...

Answer 5

I don't think you are being selfish at all, it's completely up to you whether you want dig up your past.

If she is taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness, maybe she is simply trying to completely move on from that messy stage from both of your lives. Perhaps you should take a few days to think about it, and consider talking about your past so you can both completely move on happily.

Answer 6

wow that sounds cold. thats someone you supposidly loved enough to marry. just tell her in the nicest way that you don't want to talk anymore.

Answer 7

Sounds like she needs your forgiveness and realized she messed up.  Dont let bitterness rule you and eat you up, it's not worth it.  Just tell her it's water under the bridge, (even if you still hurt when you think about it) - you've moved on and you prefer to keep it that way, as it was a long time ago.    

Answer 8

only go back for cash

Answer 9

No i dont think you are. If its over its over and old milk is easily warmed..my guess is this old guy is boring and she has no one else to turn to and maybe wants something to excite her. Stay well away man..ur better than that. X

Answer 10

sometimes, when you have done something wrong, it comes back to you, even years later, one simple thing can trigger the guilt, and overwhelm you

sounds like karma has visited your ex, and now she needs forgiveness in order to feel happy herself again

she wants  to call every now and again to touch base, probably because she is having a hard time and wants to relate to better times in her past (obviously way before you divorced)

my advice, take the next call, keep it both polite and brief, and see what happens, if you are not all she needs you to be, she may realize you have moved on and wont call again, if she becomes a burden, get caller ID and ignore her

good luck