Ladies: Playing mixed doubles with a weak male partner?

Question

Occasionally I'm teamed up with a very cute man who is unusually weak for a male 3.0 player. Like his every other shot went out, he didn't have his 1st serve in once in the whole match, and his 2nd is a just pop serve, etc.

I'm OK with that, everybody was a bad player at some point, so I never commented on any of his mistakes, just tried to play as good as I can myself and compliment him on his good shots. But the problem is that the guy makes comments about my level of play and acts very condescending. Like "You should stay aggressive, hold on, remember, when you were aggressive we won a game" and similar bullshit. That's nice, but for god's sake, I am a petite woman, and though I'm a solid 3.0, I'm basically playing alone against 2 people one of whom is a huge strong 3.5 male. So as you can imagine, I was very tempted to say "Shut up and just keep the ball in", but that would be very rude. Any ideas how to handle that gracefully?

Answer 1

So sorry! You should not be rude to him, just talk to him. If you are rude you will not be friends.

Answer 2

Challenge him to a singles match and kick his @ss.  Taunt him with the condescending remarks he made to you during your doubles match.  Talk smack to him the whole match.

If you want him around as a tennis buddy or whatever and he's agreeable, you can help him with his game.  The singles match is a good icebreaker in more ways than one.

Answer 3

First off, let me say that I am a man who was once in this position when I was first starting tennis.  I wasn't an *** about it or anything like this guy was but I was very embarrassed to be teamed up with (Not gonna' lie lol) an absolute beauty.  Week in and week out, even though I'd gradually improve, we'd get beaten handily, always due to my mistakes.  I ended up dreading going to my tennis club eventually.  

ANYWAYS, lol, it's very possible that this guy is not trying to be an *** but is just embarrassed and therefore gets crabby.  He also may feel insecure about his masculinity around you due to you being the stronger player and therefore he tries to assert himself vocally.  Just a theory of course, I'm no psychology major.  

If you are really fed up with it then I'd suggest finding a new partner, but if you want to try to stick it out (at least for a few more matches which is what I'd suggest) then there are a couple ways you could try and handle the situation with grace and class.  The first would be a direct approach.  The next time he says something that puts you down just ask him about it, not during the match of course, but maybe during a changeover or after the match.  It's very possible that he doesn't even realize how stuck up it comes off as and that he thinks he is giving genuinely good advice.  Or (I made the assumption you're both adults by the way your question was worded) if you make it clear that it bothers you he may simply apologize and refrain from continuing his behavior.  The second way to approach is a very unorthodox one (the way I handled my situation though!).  Try to get to know each other off the court.  For some reason (and somehow) I ended up taking my far superior doubles partner out to dinner one night and we found that we really liked each other.  The next time on the court it's not like I magically found a Federer forehand or a Sampras-serve, but y'know just the awkward moments when the weaker player makes a bad mistake, hits an easy ball out, misses an easy winner/volley, etc.?  Those weren't so awkward because despite the fact that maybe she didn't enjoy playing with a weak partner, I knew that we got along off the court so it made me feel better about it.  Perhaps he will as well.  Of course, that method is very out-there lol, just advice from a personal situation.  The final way to handle it would just be to explain that you don't think it's a good pairing and find a new partner.  Don't just walk out on him, explain to him that it isn't his play skill but his attitude that bothers you.  If he apologizes and says he won't do it anymore maybe give him another go but then it's just your judgment.

I'm sorry to see you in such a troublesome situation but hey, maybe something good can come out of it.  Trust me, I would know (See wife and three children :-D ).  Oh... that doesn't mean just go hop into bed with him though!  I'd go with the first option I suggested probably, most logical and safest.  Good luck!

Answer 4

find a new partner

Answer 5

Wow.  I am sorry to hear that.  Like it or not, some people are going to get under your skin; whether they are on your side of the court or on the other.  The guy is an idiot, and you should just  stay positive, and not stoop to his level.  To handle it gracefully, just accept the fact that he is an idiot, and just play your game.  It sounds like you can really get into a war with your own partner, and that won't help anyone.  But, if you want to harm his ego, it shouldn't be hard.  Relax, count your blessings (you aren't married to the jerk), and enjoy the game - especially when you aren't paired up with him.