Ladies: What would you have done?

Question

At a local Rite Aid I had a confrontation with a very rude manager who, while speaking to him about an issue with the service of that store, kept on staring at my b*****s, I was wearing a normal, loose t-shirt so don't blame it on me wearing revealing clothes. This same manager is also guilty of staring at my TEENAGED cousin's rear end and b*****s.

I handled the situation by calling the district manager directly and reporting his blatantly disrespectful behavior. Just wondering, how would you have approached the situation (short of actions which would lead to an assault charge, trust me, decking him was tempting but I wasn't about to hit him in front of a security camera).

Answer 1

Hey, you're back!

I probably would have handled the situation the same way you did, only I would have been tempted to yell at him first.

Answer 2

I support your choice of action - the only other thing i would have done, would have been to verbally (and very loudly) redirect his attention from your b*****s to your eyes.

Answer 3

I am currently dealing with that at my work place with my manager, co workers and overall boss who to apprise you is in his fifties with a wife and gives me a distinct feeling of uneasiness and sleaze. I generally just ignore it. If it escalated then I would take legal action. I am a large bossomed woman, with a petite frame and I am pretty much acclimatized to this behaviour from men. Honestly, I try to view it in an empowering fashion as It makes me feel a little superior that these grown men, some twice my age, have so little self control and are as puerile as a fourteen year old boy processing puberty. When I find a real man to look me in the eye and treat me as a person, I will be impressed. At the minute, this is a good way to weed out the losers and leerers!

I just ignore it as it does not severely impact my life! It certainly can be upsetting

Answer 4

you way over-react.

sexual interest is normal

it's not a crime

a reason to be fired

finked on

or sued

do you have an issue

you are acting out on?

I mean for all you know he may just have been reading your shirt, or merely looking downward, as -and since- you were berating him

you dont know whats in his mind

and are your b*****s actually that great that even thru a baggy shirt... ?

-AND--->you say you'd have battered him if you could do it without being caught!

Yet you want people to rally around how HE is a 'wrongdoer'??!!!

One even has to question -based on all the weight of this poor judgement you display- if he had even actually been "rude" in the first place, as you say.

______________________________________...

Women have this terrible tendendcy to want to tattle to "authorities", like a kid going to parents, not like an adult with normal social development and self-dependance.

And it stems from having to rely on the males for protection, doesnt it?

So tut tut to you all agreeing with the narcing to the manager behavior...not very feminist of ANY of you is it!

Answer 5

Are you really so fragile as to be upset by someone "checking you out" ?

Seems pretty fragile to me ,I'd given you credit for being tougher than that.

Answer 6

Round of applause for you!! i think there are a lot of women who would feel like they didn't have the right to do what you did (which was the Right thing). i think you're setting an awesome example for women and teaching your cousin that she should have respect for herself!

Answer 7

I probably would have just called him out on it very obviously.  I would have stooped down to where he was staring, locked eye contact and said loudly "Excuse me?  Would you mind looking me in the FACE while we talk?" Or "Do you have a superior I could talk to who WON'T stare at my chest while we're talking?"

I'm so sick of these "men can't help themselves" excuses.  BS.  I have tons of male friends, all of whom are capable of looking people in the eyes, especially in professional settings, and would find it laughable that someone is "incapable" of NOT staring at someones chest when they are at WORK.  Those men who feel they are incapable of controlling themselves and demonstrating some basic manners can move to Saudi Arabia.

Answer 8

Hi Vic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where have you been?

I would probably want to call the distict manager, but it would just depend on how lazy I was.

EDIT: Why the heck do I have so many Thumbs Down? I said that I would call the district manager just like Vic did. I guess it's just because of all the TD monkey feminist who don't like my name....they think I am sending them back 100 years.

I AM PROUD STEPFORD WIFE....HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

If they were as rude as you say I probably would have just got my money back and left.

Answer 10

I think what he did was NOT OKAY BUT VEY TYPICAL in men..

I think if he would not have been so rude, you would have less likley NOT called the district manager.

It appears he had a egotistic attitude and for being a manager, he surely doesn't know what "Customer service" means.

Everytime I encounter a rude employee, I FIRST try to give them the benefit of the doubt. After a while, if they have not done or said anything to rectify the situation then I am going "Full force" with my complaint...

My choice of weapon, like yours, is to complain to the highest supervisor there is in the company...... I also tend to file BBB complaints if the situation is very bad..

What he did (rudeness) was bad enough but then he went and made it worse by blaintly looking in the wrong areas ( not your face).

He deserves to get into trouble. Maybe next time he will watch where his eyes are and be more courteous to his customers.

For all those who think this was a harsh punishment, Please just think of it as if it was your daughter,wife or your mother. You would want them to be treated with the out most respect.

This manager automatically became rude...hence the word "Automatically".....it just shows his mind set was already in the wrong place---not putting the "Customer first".

I truly do not think he will get fired since he too is a manager but the worse demoted, if that ( I doubt it).

Congrads on putting someone ( ANYONE) in their place, especially a Pig headed manager from Rite Aid.

My husband and I agree when I say, us females need to be treated with respect.

There is a BIG difference to ADMIRE something very beautiful about a women then to become disrespectful. I just think of our 10 year old daughter and I cringe. I am not looking forward to the day where men gaulk at her. She is a beautiful girl and I just hope I have instilled good morals/values in her in knowing she needs to be respected.......

EDIT: Yeah, any kind of abuse towards the offender, regardless of their behavior would not benefical. Your message would be lost in your actions.....

GOOD JOB!

Answer 11

I would have screamed, stop staring at my b*****s!!!  No, I would have done the same thing, called the district manager.  I probably would have called the BBB as well or threatened to at least.  I have DDs, and it's common for men and women to just stare.  I just stoop a little bit to catch their eyes again, up here homeboy/girl.

Answer 12

don't ever check out a guy ever again.

i think you overreacted. if you had reported him on the sole reason of him being a bad manager (verbally abusing, etc), then i would have agree with what you did. just because he was checking you out doesn't mean that you have to go and risk the guy losing a job. give men a break. dealing with these sort of highly emotional and drastic actions should leave men at least SOME of their natural tendencies.

Answer 13

Victoria... I would have done exactly what you did.  Great job and good thing you resisted decking him, I know that must have been difficult.

Some women may enjoy that kind of treatment but then again that is all they have to offer society.  If it weren't for their breast and the men loving to stare at them, those women would offer nothing to the world around them.  I should also say that women like that tend to use men for that reason to get what they want and yet men don't seem to mind getting played.

Answer 14

i wouldve ignored it.....

Answer 15

As a feminist I imagine you think every guy is staring at your breast and at your cousins butt. I'm sure if it was a woman doing the ogling you wouldn't have been so quick to attack.

Maybe next time you could park the broom and take a more impassioned view of the situation, your tone demonstrates a real dislike of men in general. Of course this is the right place for that isn't it.

Answer 16

I think you did exactly the right thing.

Answer 17

Holy violent tempers Batwoman!  Assault someone for "looking" at you?  And others here agree?  What is this world coming to.  It's ok to assault someone but not ok for them to look?!!@

Yeesh I agree it sucks what happened but why not use humor?  Place your hands over your b*****s, etc.

Answer 18

Ellen's right, and so are all the men here.

WTF is wrong with all you women here for suggesting this user is RIGHT for wanting to have someone fired and beat him up if she can, simply because he was looking down ward.

h**l if thats a crime I'll bet you'll all be needing to beat up your fathers and have them blackballed from working too!

Jeez--this is what feminists think like?!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 19

I would have called him on it very clearly and distinctly in front of the general public so the other employees and customers would be aware of what was going on with this manager.  I would publicly embarrass him as a lesson to him.  If that didn't work, I would do as you did and report him to his superior.

Answer 20

I think I would have done what you did - tell his boss and get it dealt with.

Answer 21

I would have said..really loudly while having my arms over my chest..( with lots of ppl around) " How rude...I cant believe you are standing there staring at my chest you pervert! I feel so violated!"

And then I would have bursted into tears..and while someone else was calling the manager and someone was comforting me...( because after all..im the victim here) I would look at him and be smiling in a haha..you sucker sort of way.

besides..ive done something similar.

except in that case..i was physically assaulted.

i do see...that some men on here are going on about it being ok checking out a woman's body...and to be honest it is ok...( i check out men's butts) but from far away...not so obviously in a blatant way..

but you must also consider that Victoria was already having an arguement with the clod in the first place...so him checking out her chest in the midst of that was rude and very unprofessional.

i hate to break it to the 2 " ladies" below me..but i am not feminist..and neither is Proud stepford wife...but we both know that what he did was rude and uncalled for. and what she did was not " overreacting"  Overreacting would have been if she had actually hit the guy...she just thought about it. i would have thought of some even worse things..

She handled it in a mature manner and told someone about it.

but i guess she should have just let herself feel uncomfortable and let him ogle her..

you ppl have f*cked up priorities.

Answer 22

as far as the staring thing... guys sounds pretty pathetic... i mean recognizing that guys like **** and all that...i mean i like getting looked at when that what i'm goin for... but its not like some auto response... no excuse for not having a little bit of self control, loser was probably drooling. idiots like that should have learned som social etiquette as preteens. h**l i like **** too, dont see me ogling the checkout girl at my local grocery store.

good job on not deckin him... shame ya couldnt though, sounds like he deserved one.  

on the note of him being rude... ya did take the best course of action... it seems like there should have been something more direct to be done though... i probably would have taken a different approach, cause i dont trust that the chain of command at the local store is gonna do much... i might have gotten myself into trouble though... i mean first theres the bad service, then hes rude, then hes staring at my goodies while i'm complaing to him...i dont know... the more  i think about it the more props you deserve for avoiding the assault charge...

kudos to you for doin what you did.... at least karma should take care of the rest right.

Answer 23

I would have said. "Hey! My mouth isn't on my chest!"

I would have done what you did also. Not to mention not going there until he was fired.

Answer 24

If you're not comfortable with the attention, it's sexual harassment, so you most definitely did the right thing. In your place, I might have been very pissed off but not have the guts to actually report the guy! So, I'm extremely glad you did.

Please don't buy the reasoning that you have to excuse men for staring because they can't help it. It's a silly way to think and no self-respecting man would agree with that way of thinking. If one (man or woman!) can't control one's urges, one shouldn't live in a society. They're better off living in some primal world.

Answer 25

I think you did the right thing.  Did you mention this to the manager himself as well?

Answer 26

next time try raising your voice loudly in the store and confronting him... maybe embarassing him would help.  also i would try to move up the chain if it happens again and report it to a higher level than district.

Answer 27

Things like that really don't bother me....but for fun, I could happily ask him to turn around so that I could get a better look at his butt while I talk to him....

Answer 28

Staring  isn't against the law...