Ladies.. Why are you so quick to say "divorce him now"?

Question

Is it like a reflex? You are talking about the man who has spent several years with you and probably have kids with.. You must think he is perfect or somthing cause just cause he MAY have TALKED to another women your out giving advice to wives to DIVORCE his sorry @ss...

It's like LOVE isn't the reason you got married in the first place. it's like a perfect "Marrige" is every womens right or something..

You have been brainwashed since you could read, with those prince charming stories.. and you expect your husband to understand you?

So can you ease up on the call for a quick divorce.. cause you may not understand taht TRUE LOVE, is that 2 people can work throught thier mistakes and move on to a happier life. : )

Answer 1

It works both ways, if a woman cheats, DIVORCE HER SORRY AZZ, and if a man cheats, DIVORCE HIS SORRY AZZ  as well.

I cant stand cheaters, and i cant stand homewreckers regardless if they are male or female,

People today get married and its not uncommon to have a divorce is like 'hey whatever,' it was a chapter in their life and they are ready to move on to the next one.

I understand that marriage takes a lot of work, but anything worth having is worth working for right?

Alot of people are just caught up in todays society, things arent they way they were 40 years ago, when you actually stayed married, you held on to the person you took vows with.

Its just sad, and hey, u know what else, again, man or woman, they get on this site and tell us their little story, yeah, im quick to say divorce, because there is no excuse for cheating, NONE,

and usually thats what the person is crying about, man or woman, how their partner is out cheating on them.

and again, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR A CHEATING WIFE OR HUSBAND, ..

if they cheat once and get away with it, what makes anyone think they wont cheat again?

Answer 2

Well if he cheated the woman should divorce his cheating ***!!  No excuse, he should have thought about that s**+**t Before he went into another woman's pants!

Don't worry I give the guys the same Advice!!

Answer 3

I agree with you.  I think that love isn't the reason a lot of people get married.  I love my husband and we have been through h**l and back together.  Sometimes it is my stuff, sometimes it is his, and sometimes it is both of us.  That is just part of it.  If you love someone and they love you and you are willing to work on it together, then divorce should not be in your vocabulary.  I don't believe that every situation should be stay with him, but I do believe that people give up too easily.  Marriage is hard work.  I think a lot of people believe that it should be easy.  That you don't have to sacrifice sometimes and that everything will always be YOUR way or the highway.  What scares me is that I see a lot of women telling other women to marry someone on here when it isn't for love as well.  You are just leading that women to divorce and misery.  Love may not solve all problems, but if there is not love to begin with then how can you expect to solve any?

Answer 4

I've noticed this too. You might not like the answer though: It's mainly AMERICAN women who have that "Divorce him right away" mentality.

After years and years of feminist dogma, American women have subconsciously started to view marriage as a convenience, something for monetary gain or something to do because it's "what other women do"

It's not really about love anymore :(

If it was about love, they wouldn't be so quick to cry "divorce!"

Answer 5

You are right, there are alot of bad attitudes about marriage out there. I think sometimes expectations can be too high and I think we do need to realize that we are all not perfect and that Prince charming is a myth. No, it is not the way I expected it to be, I am not in love but I realized no one is in love 100% of the time. It is a two way street and definately takes team work and what if you feel you just don't have it? What then? You either accept each other for who you are including the weakness'es or you move on!

Answer 6

Reasons for a divorce are as follows:

Abuse to spouse or children (physical and/or sexual... emotional and mental are subjective and varies by circumstance)

Adultery (there is no excuse)

Drunks/Drug addicts (wont change and they can't be trusted) however, if the woman married the guy who was like the before they got married (or vice versa), then, no, she shouldn't have married him in the first place. Does that mean she needs to stay? Well, if he is abusive, then get out.

Convicted Felons spending more than 10 years in prison for murder, rape, pedophiles, and other such crimes. Sorry, I work in a prison, and I can tell you, they are not the same person when they come out as when they went in. I'm biased on that one, I'll admit.

Everything else can be worked on. No I don't encourage people to get divorces, unless they meet the prior criteria. I apply this to both men and woman.

Answer 7

I'm personally not quick to say DIVORCE but I do know some women that enter into marriage as divorce being an option...you shouldn't even get married in the first place if that is your mindset. I got married May 3rd (been together 5 yrs)--though sometimes we argue and have problems I love my Husband more then anything in the world...I'd never give up on what we've worked so hard to build. The key is to communicate and always be honest. Sometimes you may HATE what your Spouse is saying but always RESPECT them enough to listen--that means alot!  

Answer 8

By the time someone is asking on here "what they should do" you can safely bet that this isn't the very first time ever that they are dealing with an issue.  We women, when we care about someone, tend to put up with a lot of s---t before we start really complaining and thinking about the big D.  You mention that love is the reason one gets married, but my question is where is that same love on the man's part?  How come you read so many questions on here about men wanting advice on "the best way to get away with cheating?"  Men aren't so focused on the "love" part either, if you want to get down to the nitty gritty.  If we women are wanting the fairy tale, then a lot of men are wanting "the piece of tail" and those two things are not one in the same and neither one of us is going to understand one another.  

I do agree that once you're married it's a commitment and the goal is to work through the storms, but infidelity/trust is a storm that's just too hard to weather sometimes for some people.  The marriages that some of these people entered into may not necessarily have been based on "true" love in the first place.  It very well could have been infatuation, lust, a need for companionship etc. and these were all disguised as love.

It's unfortunate that our society has gone from "love is a many splendored thing" to "love is a many splintered thing," but I believe that if two people can't come together after sincerely trying to work it out (both partners) then why torture yourself and your partner with living a life of misery and mistrust and jealousy and all those other nasty things?  Move on and move up and learn from your mistakes.

  

Answer 9

Here's the thing.....most people marry for the wrong reason's, especially when they marry young.  Some people marry because they have children together, they marry for financial reason's or they marry because it just seems like the right thing to do.  U obviously have to have some type of feelings for a person in order to marry them but those feelings aren't always love.

People on the outside lookin' in can see when two people aren't happy together or aren't in love anymore, so they give them what they feel is the best advice for them to find happiness out of the situation.  It isn't expecting for someone to be perfect, but people go into marriage with false or unrealistic expectations of what they think it should be and when it's not matching up to their standards then leaving is always an option.  I just wish people would think clearly before they involve themselves in these types of situations.

Answer 10

I totally agree with you on this one. I think a lot of people, not just women are to quick to say divorce. Women arent the only ones who have been "brainwashed" so to speak. Men are influenced by a lot of things and they formulate ideas of how a woman should be or act or whatever. This isnt a one way street buddy. I agree that people who love each other can work thru their problems, I totally get that. But so many women or men on here write about how their spouses dont treat them right or whatever even after talking about it, or how their husbands or wives have cheated on them and they dont know what to do. I have no problem suggesting divorce if infidelity or abuse is involved, but thats not everyone problem here. Some people would rather just run away than put forth the effort into working it out so of course they are going to say divorce. Sometimes it would be the best thing for some couples even if theyre not having huge problems.  

Answer 11

Yeah, have you noticed, once a guy just looks at another woman, the general cry is "divorce his sorry a**" but if a guy says he thinks his wife is having an internet affair, we get another cry: "you married for better or for worse"...

I think we need to look at the facts, as every situation is circumstancial, and the circumstances might just make the difference.

Answer 12

In too many cases, love indeed was not the reason of marriage. The real reason, I'd say, was temporary insanity.

I personally advise a breakup/divorce, no questions asked, only when the relationship is patently abusive. There's a certain point of no return in how much one should put up with, and abuse, whether physical or psychological, is on the wrong side of the line. There simply is no true love there.

Answer 13

I'm more of a "beat his *** with a frying pan" kind of girl.

Answer 14

hey, they ask a question and i call it as i see it!

Answer 15

Around here that sure is the case. Its easier to give that out as advice too then actually thinking.