Ladies and gentleman what is the line between a partner being protective or possessive?

Question

I feel the need to ask for opinions on this because of this question:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoAu30F13tmKfN0ASWb6GooYxgt.;_ylv=3?qid=20080606084438AAExaVL

Answer 1

I think if your partner becomes angry or jealous when someone else shows an interest in you, or tries to blame you for the attention, then it's crossed the line to being possesive. A protective man will just be concerned with keeping  you safe. It sometimes does seem like a very fine line though.

Nice new avatar, btw! :)

Answer 2

Give us an instance....Did he get mad because you went out with your friends? Does he call you constantly on your cell when you have gone to the store?

Answer 3

the line is to be determined by the individual on a case by case basis

Answer 4

That sounds like typical male behavior to me. Men are usually more possessive of their partners than women. I believe it's due to human evolution. This behavior is unacceptable, however, when the possessive man turns his anger towards the woman, who has no control over men hitting on her. Protective behavior, by the way, is very gentle, subtle, and loving. Like making sure his woman is always safe and comfortable, giving his jacket when she's cold, etc.

Answer 5

your partner is protective if he punches your friend Bubba because he called you a "s***k".

your partner is possessive if you aren't allowed to have friends, even crappy ones like Bubba.

Answer 6

Depends upon the situation...lets say a couple is at a bar...

Stranger walks up to the girl..says hey can I buy you a drink, blah blah....she says...sorry darlin I'm with someone. He(the spouce) Freaks out and gets mad, yells, wants to kick some *** ect.

this is possessive.

Stranger walks up to the girl....says blah blah...she says no blah blah...stranger touches her or wont back off...she trys shaking him he(stranger) wont leave.   He(spouce) walks up say excuse me, can I help you?  and guides the girl to the other side of the bar

this is protective.

Girl comes home...they are talking about there day...she says such in such hit on me today....he say oh? she says no big deal.   He flips and gets mad...possessive.

He says....ya well your with me darlin, he knows that now...protective.

Basically women dont like or need yall flippin over little stuff.

Answer 7

Lets have some examples

Protective- tells that drunk guy at the resturante who keeps hitting on you and trying to flirt with you (dispite your objections) to get lost

Possessive- Curses out the waiter who made eye contact with you when he asked you for your order

Protective- Asks you to call him when you get where your going and calls you if an amount of time over what it took for you to get there has elapsed

Possessive- calls you every five minutes you are out until you get back, then accuses you of cheating on him when you get back

Answer 8

The guy in the question you reference is being possessive, not protective, as the female involved was not in any danger of any kind.

Protective behaviors could include keeping someone safe from physical harm, guarding someone against that which might cause emotional pain, and defending someone from attacks upon their reputation or their character.

Answer 9

Protective means they are looking out for 'Your' best interest.

Possessive means they are insecure and looking out for theirs.

Answer 10

Protective is guarding when there is an obvious danger.Possessive is controlling somebody because of a subjective fear or a personal insecurity.

Answer 11

protective?  Huh?  Maybe in a Victorian romance novel.  Many men would offer their girlfriend up for group s*x if it would get them brownie points with their buddies.

Answer 12

On our honeymoon, we were walking down the sidewalk holding hands and two guys started hooting and whistling at me(granted I had a mini skirt on). They completely ignored the fact that I was holding my husband's hand. My husband turned around and yelled that I was his wife. He was really ticked off the rest of the night.

I think that men in general are both protective and possessive. It is the natural instinct of a male. Even with male animals. Men are both protective and possessive, but they are both good qualities because it is good to be protective because it make the woman feel safe and it is good for the man to be possessive because it makes the woman feel wanted. I'm a greatful for being able to feel both.

Answer 13

oh sh*t i havent seen you for ages. i think someone was cloning you two socks.

to your question now. someone who tries to control you and is manipulitive. i knew a girl like this once and she truely was a bit*c. it was not nice.

Answer 14

He's seems insecure to me, and excessive and no protective at all. When someone is 21, u can already know how to take care of your self. Is stupid to be angry for something that the girl can't avoid, which is being attractive for other persons.

So, to me, there's not exists such line. I can take care of my self; I don't need a boyfriend to protect me.

Answer 15

Echo Billy's opinion. It differs. For some, someone getting upset itself is the limit. For others, it may take a little more to clearly show they are jealous or insecure. Experience, more than bookish knowledge helps people decide what is protective and what is possesive.