Ladies - are you married to a 'confident' guy - I'm not - what's it like?

Question

My husband goes through stages of being so unsure and down on himself. Like yesterday he made a little mistake at work - just a wrong decision at the time and he's totally down on himself about it. He goes for a few months being kinda okay - but then ends up feeling really bad about himself again. I feel like I am responsible in part as he changed jobs to be closer to my family. He was happier in his old job. Moving back is not an option and I feel like his sadness is partly my fault. I feel like I am always supporting him and trying to lift his spirits but it doesn't work much at all so I get down too. Lately I have just given up and just tried to support him a little but when it is obvious that he is just going to be down I give up and just continue on with what I am doing. I am so sick of the rollercoaster effect his emotions have on me. I almost wish I married a more confident guy.......what's that like?

Answer 1

I have a boyfriend that is/was not so confident and I took it up as my goal to make him confident that he's the one I want, that he's the best at what he does at his job, that he's the hottest guy, etc. And you know what...I can see a big change in him and I like it. I can guarantee that you aren't the cause but you are the cure! I know you want to give up but you can't. What if it were the other way around? You would need him to be that person for you that makes you feel better when you feel you are at your worst. If you feel it's an emotional stress to bring on yourself, I will say make the sacrafice, because this too shall pass and not last forever. Help him get through the low times because you never know one day you are going to need him and he will be there for you like you are there for him.  

Answer 2

He sounds depressed and needs to maybe see a Dr however do not let the doctor put him on anti-depressants those are not the answer.  Have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him that he either needs to get counseling or help or the marriage is going to crumble.  Tell him nothing is more of a turn off then someone who is always down on himself.  He needs to see the good in himself instead of the bad.  I think sometimes people get so caught up in themselves that they cannot see the damage they are doing to others.  I think it becomes a pitty party as well.  

Answer 3

Its your job to be a supportive spouse. "For better or for worse." Try to hang in there. I'm married to a confident guy, but when he has a bad day at work or something I love doing everything I can to make him feel smile and improve his mood. And my husband does the same for me. Lots of hugs! Release those endorphins!

Answer 4

yes i am, but for u all u need to do is talk to him about his self pity attitude, let him know how it affects u as his wife.talk to him!