Ladies who are moms what do you think?

Question

Hey mommies and soon to be mommies out there!!! I am almost 25,next month, I purposed to my girlfriend of over a year sometime back she is about to be 20 soon. We are getting married in May of 2010, she will be 21 I will be 27. We know that we definately want children one day, we do know that we want time to be a married couple for atleast a few years though, just to get to know each other as man and wife. What are your suggestions on when to plan to have children. I know that sometimes children come when it is not expected and that is totally fine, but say we were very careful and were planning our family. What do you ladies think would be a good age for us to become parents. I guess the real question is, how long would you suggest wait before bringing children into our marriage??? We both love and adore children, she watches her neice and nephew everyday from 8-5 for a college job. Oh by the way she should be done, or almost done with school by the time we are married...anyway, thanx

Answer 1

I think a year or two is a good amount of time to wait.  It will give you a chance to get comfortable as a married couple, and do some things like travel, finish school, enjoy a mutual hobby - things that are hard to do once kids come along.  But another person made a good point; if you wait TOO long, you'll become very accustomed to the childless lifestyle, which might make the transition to parenthood a little harder.  

But whether you wait several years, or have kids right away, I can tell from what you've said that it will work out fine!  I think the most important "ingredients" for having kids are a stable, commited relationship, a secure home and income, and a desire to do what's best for your family.  And from what you've said, it looks like you have all three!  

Good luck!  =]

Answer 2

I think a lot will depend on how long she wants to wait. It isn't always a practical thing. You want time to enjoy getting to know each other, but I feel if you wait too long, you would get use to a more self centered life style. ANd having babies is for the young, because they take a lot of energy and lack of sleep, which is easier when you are younger.

Than there is that time you will see this adorable little baby and think, "WE could have one of those" . I couldn't wait to hold my own.

Answer 3

I don't think there is a "perfect" time to have children. Sure, there are things we can do to prepare for that time, and it sounds like you're well on your way with the house, etc. I've found that there is much we do not control when it comes to having or not having babies, so whatever plans you make, be ready for flexibility! And as far as being ready, maturity comes at different ages. The most important thing is being ready and willing to do what is best for your child. Sometimes that may be a hard thing and that's where the maturity comes into play. But if you both are centered enough to give of yourself and appreciate the blessings of children, then go for it! As far as I'm concerned, having a child together has been the most bonding thing my husband and I have done as a couple. Best wishes!

Answer 4

Umm how about Husband & Wife. You will know when your ready.

Answer 5

I think when you are 29 and she is 23 would be perfect. A couple of years on your own to solidify your marriage and be emotionally ready to parent.

Best wishes on your life together!

Answer 6

Age has nothing to do with it really. There was a time when I believed it did. I know couples that were in their 30's who proved they should have never been allowed to breed. I have met couples where the mother was 20 and they have decent kids. I know couples that choose to wait until their early 40's to have children, however at this point they can only have a child, as in one. Which brings me to my point. I think that you need to consider as a couple the size of your family when factoring in your planning. You can afford to wait much longer if you are choosing to have only one or two children in comparison to a family that would prefer 4 or 5 or even more offspring. Also, a women's risk factor goes up with pregnancy after the age of 35 and there isn't always a garuntee that she will even be able to conceive after this age. Personally, my husband and I had our first child when I was 22. He was 24. I had my last child when I was 26. We chose to have 3 children.

Answer 7

Well i think you need to wait at least six months after your married before you start trying i think a year is ideal and you have to take into account if that sounds like too short of a time period that i could take you a while to concieve and she'll be pregnant for 9 months so that adds some more time to the man and wife period before baby comes along.

Answer 8

As a mom of 3 adults, personally, I'd give it about 5 years before bringing about a lifelong permanent change in your relationship.  

Meanwhile, continue to enjoy the young relatives as much as possible, while cherishing your alone time.

You'll know when it's right.

Answer 9

Get used to (and enjoy) married life for a few years.  Have children when you know you can afford it. This means you both have an education and a job.  In the meantime, start saving money for children, just to prepare yourself.  Don't rush things.

Answer 10

Your fiance just turned 20 and your 25? lol thats just ilike me ;} i just turned 20 in july and my fiance is going to be 26. Big age difference huh? Well me and my fiance are not married yet and we already have a baby. Im also in college and everything is working great for us!!! My son is 1 and i have a 2yr old daughter from a previous relationship who my fiance takes care of as his own. Since you future wife is already in school and about to finish i'd suggest that she just finish then have the baby. Make sure moneys ok and get your own place together if you dont already have one. It really hard to raise your baby while living with other people or parents. Children make the relationship a little more stressful but you the bond you'll have with your fiance is undescribable!! I feel like it made my relationship stronger.

Answer 11

When we first got married we said we would wait 2 years to start trying. We waited about 4 months!! We had been together for about 6 years and we were ready to have kids. It took 8 months for me to get pregnant and then i lost the baby. 4 months later i was pregnant again and now i have a beautiful baby boy! So either way it took us about 2 years anyway! Good Luck to you!

Answer 12

it really depends. there is no set age. just because someone is 30, that doesnt mean they ACT 30.

i waited 4 years because me and my husband like our alone time together.

so whenever you have your finances in order, money saved up for emergencies, stable plans of who will watch the baby, jobsi n order, etc.

plan carefully!

congrats!

Answer 13

I say wait a year before getting pregnate, that way you guys will have been married for almost 2 years before the baby is born, and thats saying you get pregnate immediately! Try to have a home, no debt (except for a mortgage) and all of the insurances (car, medical, home, life, disability) Once you have all that...go and make babies!!