Ladies: would you continue to date a man if he confessed to having an affair ?

Question

he says it's a thing of the past and he's moved on and learned his lesson, but wouldn't a small part of you still be bothered by this ???

Answer 1

Personally, I would not. It takes a certain person to genuinely forgive and forget. I am not that person. I could never truly let an affair pass by as acceptable because I would never be able to trust him ever again. Some people can, and that is fine. However, if someone agrees to forgive and forget then that is exactly what they need to do. Otherwise, the relationship will never be healthy and ultimately end.

Answer 2

My current boyfriend cheated on two ex girlfriends. one was a while back...but one was the girl before me. I trust him completely. It is true what they say about meeting the person who makes them want to be monogomous!! He was very open an honest with me about all of it...so I trust him completely.

Answer 3

if you are bothered by it then go with your gut instinct and don't date him.  red flag

Answer 4

I guess the question is...did he cheat on you or during a prior relationship....if he cheated on me there would be no question about leaving I would go....however if he had cheated in his past then that is a different story....If you think he is a changed person then yes give it ago....if not take a pass...

Answer 5

If he was upfront and honest I would try my best to get over it. I do not know if I could though. If he lied and you caught him NO.

Answer 6

How do you know that YOU aren't the affair?

Answer 7

So the affair wasn't with you? Then no I wouldn't hold something over his head that he did before he met you! Sure it was the wrong thing to do but not every relationship will be the same. He may never cheat again for the rest of his life.

Answer 8

i would end it right then and there. if he did it once, he will do it again.

Answer 9

It depends on my general feeling about the relationship. If I felt this was the person I wanted to be with, I would continue dating him. If we were "just dating", I wouldn't consider it an affair anyway.

Answer 10

I'd tell him to not let the door k**b hit him in the ____ on the way out.

Answer 11

I would be careful but yes.  If he had cheated on someone else.  

Answer 12

Never a cheater can not be trusted.  Trust is the base of all relationships...

Answer 13

Once a cheater, always a cheater

I did not believe this statement in the past until I became that person. I cheated on someone, thought it was a one time thing that I would never do again. Well fell in love again once the previous relationship was over and cheated again. I think it may depend on the person but I am the type of person that like passion and intimacy and as you know when you have been in a relationship for a long time the passion and intimacy slowly diminishes in lots of relationships and the sufferer can be irrational in certain situations and then regret it.

Answer 14

i would never allow it. i know a lot of women that do take their partner's back but only because they allow themselves to be manipulated by the men theyre with and don't have enough self esteem or are too dependent on their partners to ever move on

but if i was to take my partner back, that little part of me would alwayssss be bothered by it, no matter how much i genuinely forgave him. it would cause me insecurity for the rest of my life.

Answer 15

Of course you'll always have it on mind. But since you did hear it from him it means that he felt so guilty about it. And he wants to be with you. Give him another chance. But you have to let him know that if he does it again you're done no questions about it. I mean it's really up to you. But it would mean a lot to me if my BF confessed cause this means he really loves me and wants to be completely honest with me. Good luck!

Answer 16

Is he trust worthy now with you?  If so and he seems to have good morals and ethics, it isn't your problem, go for it.

Men cheat because they are not getting their needs met by the wife or girlfriend or they are just pigs with no morals.  Which is he?

Answer 17

Well there are a few scenarios to your question, was he dating you when the affair occurred? if not, then yes i would date him if it were from a prior relationship. because i cheated in the past, i was in high school when it happened, and niether me nor the person i was with were serious about each other.

However if it were me he cheated on then no, i have been through it a few times, with a few different men, and no once they betray me that way, that is it for me, i pick up what is left of my pride and walk.

Answer 18

I would probably find it hard to trust him, so I probably would end the relationship.

Answer 19

No no no no no no!

I couldn't be with someone who has cheated on me, or cheated on anyone he was with before me.

I would be constantly suspicious and worried about what he is up to and that would not make a very good relationship.

Answer 20

Yes and no. Some people do slip up, but I would probably probe him a little further regarding the details of the why and for how long. Since there is a difference between having a one night fling and being married and keeping a mistress on the side for years. That's what psychologist consider a habital cheater.