Lady shattered my VEGAN confidence. :(?

Question

So i was eating lunch at my local today, when one of the waitresses whom i know pretty well, came over and asked why i was only munching on salad and fruit today.

I told her i was going Vegan.

She said, "Oh, well your shoes are made of leather. So youre lying. Why lie?"

"This is my third day. I realize that... Im trying to get myself together, im finding it hard." I began.

"And youre makeup was probably tested on animals... Youre not Vegan, youre just being a poser." She snorted and walked off.

I was really heart broken... Im trying my best and im just starting out after being Veggie for a year.

Its really damaged my confidence and i feel EMBARASSED to tell anyone im Vegan, (Trying.) Now.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?

Answer 1

What a snotbag!  She should be embarrassed by her behavior; you should not be embarrassed to tell people you're vegan.  And to the person who said that you should have been working on getting rid of your leather/animal tested stuff, not all vegetarians work on the lifestyle.  Maybe you could say you're transitioning to veganism until you get rid of your animal-unfriendly items.

Answer 2

Wow, she seriously is a (insert curse word here) ________!! She probably tried and failed at being a Vegan! It's never happened to me but I got embarrassed when I went out to eat with my friend and she is Vegetarian and I'm not. I ordered the chicken salad and she couldn't eat because of me. I was so ashamed and embarrassed.

I'm trying to become Vegetarian!!

Answer 3

I have been in similar situations like yours. While I do understand that people have different beliefs; I can't believe the criticism I have received from those would rather put me down then understand what I believe.

I also think that veganism is a lifestyle chosen to support animals. It is not a popularity contest. Therefore, it doesn't matter what negative things people say to you. That is just what happens when you combine morals with ignorance.

Answer 4

I would talk to the owner of the restaurant.  That was both rude and uncalled for along with being really unprofessional.

She doesn't know what she it talking about...She is the equivalent of a troller on here.

You have to start somewhere.  You are more vegan than the people at that restaurant who were munching on burgers.

Becoming vegan doesn't happen overnight.  You just have to take the steps and do the best you can.  Next time you buy shoes buy man-made ones.  If you have another pair of shoes you can wear, wear them and get rid of the leather ones.  If you don't have a spare pair, don't worry.

Look on Peta's website and look at the list of makeup that is not tested on animals.  Then from now on by that when you start running out of what you have now.

Don't give up and don't let losers like her take your confidence away.  She obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings.  People like that go around be hateful and never contributing anything to this world.

You take care and e-mail me if you need to talk this out.  I have been through similar things.  Being vegan isn't easy, but it will make all of stronger in the end.  What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.

Answer 5

Buck up. Keep your confidence as high as you can. You're not doing anything wrong whatsoever, and you're doing a lot better than most people.

Use this as an opportunity to keep your spirits high in the face of adversity!

Answer 6

what a loser. it sounds like she tried to make you feel bad so she would feel better. i've been in situations where people challenge me in order to justify their own diets, just ignore them. their opinions aren't what matters, there are lives to be saved, right? if you're pursuing this for moral reasons

also, most vegans who quickly dispose of their nonvegan clothing do so in an attempt to prove themselves to others. as long as you aren't buying anymore, i don't see a problem

Answer 7

You should have told her to learn to understand English.

If you said that you are "going vegan"(with a lower case "v"),

that obviously implies that you aren't quite there yet.

This is all beside the point that you should have told the manager that she was the rudest bltch that you've ever met. Well, i mean if this story is even genuine.

Answer 8

Wow, tell her to eff off! I am still wearing clothes made from animals, and when they get too worn out I'll get clothes that aren't made from animals. Maybe next time you need to emphasize the GOING part so it'll reach her thick skull next time.

Don't feel embarrassed, we have to take steps toward a cruelty-free life, we can't just do it all at once! We must crawl before we can walk. Keep going and never give up! Peace

Answer 9

I won't win any popularity contests, but I see her point. However, I don't condone her rudeness.

Are you becoming a vegan for health reasons, or because of animal rights? If it's health, she's off-base.

If it's animal rights, though, she nailed it. After being a vegetarian for a year, you should have weaned yourself from leather and products tested on animals.

Why not go through your closet, setting aside everything made of or trimmed with leather this weekend?

Answer 10

First off, I'm a waitress and I'm truly surprised she could get away with being that rude to a customer.

Secondly, don't let her or anyone else's judgments keep you from what is right for YOU.

Answer 11

While nothing this drastic has ever happened to me, people tend to ask me a lot of questions. I try to avoid telling people I'm vegetarian, not because I'm ashamed, but because I get flustered when I'm hit with a sudden barrage of questions. Then, instead of giving well thought-out answers, I usually end up saying something like, "I dunno. Because. It's just mean."

While I told my immediate family and friends, I don't announce it to anyone else. If they ask, I'll tell them. But sometimes, depending on the person and the situation, it's best to let them figure it out on their own. When they do, be confident and stand up for yourself! Easier said then done sometimes. Have some pre-prepared answers to common questions it you can. That might help.

Good luck, and I hope the "friend"/waitress was PMSing!

Answer 12

Hey there,

Okay, so here's the thing.  When someone questions your make-up or shoes or whatever, tell them that your using the life out of your old products instead of hurting the environment by buying new stuff before you nead it.  Why trash perfectly good shoes and make-up in order to spend money on new ones?  You've allready supported the cow death and animal testing, continueing to use those products won't hurt any more animals, unless you ONCE AGAIN BUY THEM NEW!  

So next time, tell the person who questions you that you are using up your old products, and when you run out/the shoes are ruened or whatever, you'll buy an animal-friendly version.

Jennifer

Answer 13

So - it would be better to toss it all in a landfill - which is really great for the enviroment.......

If you want to wear what you own - that is *YOUR CHOICE*.

Just ignore them.  

I can tell you one thing, I sure wouldn't have tipped them after such a comment - or if I did - it would have only been a penny.

Answer 14

Don't worry, you can still try...i mean, you're just beginning, why does it matter what she thinks, youre being the vegan not her, so its not really her problem.... and i thought vegetarians was only about the food. maybe im wrong....maybe im not. oh well.

Answer 15

I would confront that woman and ask why she acted so nastily when you were just minding your business, eating your meal and not bothering anyone. She sounds like a bitter, mean person who enjoys lashing out at people.

Some people who feel threatened by veganism will try to poke holes in your lifestyle and try to prove that you're a hypocrite. It's easier to attack you than to critically think about their own lifestyle choices. A number of people have accused me of wearing leather shoes, even though I'm very careful about buying only non-leather clothing. Or they insist that I must cheat when no one's looking.

Don't let her let you down... she's not worth your energy.

Answer 16

Quality =/

I would've just said "We all need to start somewhere." And left it at that. She was probably really proud of herself for saying what she did. Probably even gave herself a little pat on the back.

There's nothing wrong with her point things out but she was degrading you. Next time someone says something like that, be prepared with a witty come back.

Answer 17

Why are "labels" so important? Who cares whether you're called a VEGAN or VEGETARIAN?

Labels should be less important to people that the reasons behind them. You're friend is very judgemental IMO.

Even though I'm not vegan/vegetarian I can sympathize with you. Anyway, if you want to be vegan then I respect that. Try taking smaller steps towards veganism to make the transition easier. Try starting out as vegetarian then work your way into veganism.

Good Luck!

Answer 18

OK not to worry.  Many vegans still wear and/or use animal products that they may have bought before they went vegan.  I still have leather shoes that I bought before I made the switch and if anyone asks, I just tell them that I don't buy any leather, wool, etc. anymore but I can still wear out the ones I bought previously.  

It's no big deal, don't let that snob get you down.  She obviously judges a book by it's cover and she assumes too much.  Some shoes that are vegan are faux leather and look just like the real deal.  How did she know that they weren't fake leather? What a bitchface!!

You can transition as fast or slow as you want.  But a good tip that you could use.  Don't say you're vegan until you feel comfortable with being judged.  What I always said when I started out was "I don't eat animal products" and others like that until I was more settled as a vegan.

Don't let people get you down.  And I know it's hard because you think of some great comebacks after the moment is over, but if you're in a similar situation, ask them why they care?  And if they make you feel like "not the real deal" then put them in their place.  Tell them you bought the shoes before you went vegan and there's no need to throw them out now,  same with your makeup.

Good luck to you.