Languages with foreigh adoptions?

Question

We're a bit aways from adopting a child, though it's been a consideration since my body doesn't seem to handle pregnancy very well (platelet count drops, and the second time was a premature birth). I wanted to try foreign adoption, but by the time we're ready our boys would be around 4 or 5. So we were thinking about adopting an older child. In my case, from China or Taiwan since there's often little girls there who dont' get adopted, and my mother was from Taiwan.

But then I realized that I don't speak Chinese very well (which has made it difficult in trying to teach my boys). So I was wondering if anyone had experience in adopting a child who had grown up with a foreign language.

Answer 1

I agree that learning some of the child's language is very helpful -- not only for the child -- but also the parent. I also think learning (at least some of) the language is a sign of respect to your child and to the country he is from.

My children were young toddlers when we adopted them (13 and 16 months). Neither was speaking, but both *understood* their native language. I think having a basis of basic parenting terms in their language really helped our transition.

I would like to learn more Russian someday -- maybe my children and I can take classes together -- but for our trip I used the Pimsleur tapes (mentioned already in this thread.) In addition, I bought a CD specifically aimed at adoptive parents which taught basic parenting phrases like "I love you." "It's going to be okay." and "It's time to sleep." "It's time to eat" "Do you need to go potty?" -- things that aren't covered in regular learn-to-speak-the-language tapes. I found that *very* helpful. (Baby signs was also very helpful and my children picked them up *very* quickly.) The tape is also available in Spanish and Mandarin. I haven't used those, but the Russian one was very helpful.

Answer 2

We adopted an 8 year old boy who speaks mandarin and virtually no english in August. While I do believe we could get by if I did not speak any mandarin, with body languages, hand gestures and charades, I am thankful I do know some mandarin. I am not fluent by any means and wish I knew more (I'm studying mandarin currently). It will come in very handy while you are in China, and with your new child. My son told our mandarin speaking friend that he is glad he can communicate with him somewhat and it makes him feel better. I have friends who have adopted older children without knowing the language and been okay, but I definitely definitely suggest you try to learn some. Just getting by can work and its easier for the adoptive parent if the child has to do all of the work, but its really more fair and easier for the child if the parent learns some of their language too (plus its much less frustrating if you know how to say "you have to eat your veggies" "clean up your room" "brush your teeth please" and "stop hitting your brother" in their language".) If there are any classes near you, try signing up. If you can afford it, try hiring a chinese tutor. Or, if you want to teach yourself, there are several programs out there like Pimsleur, Fluenz, Rosetta Stone (I don't recommend that one alone, but would be good along with one of the others).

Answer 3

My niece was adopted from China.  My brother had the same problem. They already had 3 kids and wanted to make a differance in another child's life and wanted to adopt from China , but they didn't know Chineese.  Him and my SIL used Rosetta Stone and took classes. My niece was 3 when they adopted her and they talked to her in Chineese, but also taught her English using Muzzy (Which would be great for your two boys with learning Chineese!) and by the time she was 5 she spoke compleete English with an accent.

Take some classes and try Rosetta Stone (You can google to find the website) and order a Chineese Muzzy video/DVD. Good luck and god bless.

Answer 4

Well... im 12 but u could maybe take more lessons in Chinese if u want a chinese baby. learn how to speak it so u can teach the adoopted child how to speak English. But if u put it in school it's probably going to be in those classes to learn the right laugngaue anyways. my best friend was like that but shes from Africa