Last names after marriage?

Question

ok...well me and my fiance have been arguing over me changing my last name after we get married...i personally dont care...its just that im used to my last name being said with my name...its weird to suddenly change it...i just wanna know on how people solve this problem...o i suggested that maybe i can have both last names...but he got mad and said if u really love someone...you would change ur last names to their...<girl to guys' last name> but i dno...juss give me ur opinion...and no stupid comments please and thank you :-)

Answer 1

I think if he really loved you, and you didn&#039;t want to change your name, he&#039;d be more understanding. I didn&#039;t take my husband&#039;s last name, and there wasn&#039;t even much of a discussion about it. Right before we got married he asked me, &quot;Hey, do you need to get one of those name changing kits or something for after the wedding?&quot; To which I replied, &quot;Hahahahahahaha... why, you gonna change your name for me?!&quot; He smiled at me and said, &quot;Yeah, not sure why I even bothered to ask.&quot; That was the end of that conversation.

My opinion, truly, is that your name is a personal thing (literally and figuratively). It&#039;s who you are, and it&#039;s who you&#039;ve always been. Some people are okay with getting a new one, and some people like me just aren&#039;t. To me, it&#039;s as bad as if someone told you you had to get a nose job or die your hair for them. This is YOU, your life. What gives them the right to dictate such a thing. I&#039;m glad my hubby isn&#039;t like hat, because if he made some big deal about it, we probably wouldn&#039;t have gotten married. I need a partner in life, not a dictator.

And, I get annoyed when people insinuate that I don&#039;t love my husband as much as they do just because I kept my name, and my hubby takes offense to that too. We both know what we have, and we both know that married is more than what&#039;s written on your driver&#039;s license. But, if someone really likes the tradition of changing their name, then I think they should do it. Otherwise, who cares?

Answer 2

I loved my maiden name but it&#039;s more of a tradition to change your last name to his... it&#039;s kind of like you&#039;re his now. Weird I know... But it shouldn&#039;t be a big deal.

Answer 3

Is he always this opinionated and stubborn about issues?  Is he going to give you that same arguement (if you love someone) for EVERYTHING????!!!!!

I think you&#039;d better talk about the future - where you&#039;ll live, how many kids and when, careers, work and maybe school.   If he&#039;s inflexible about his opinions, that&#039;s a bad sign and might be a warning sign about marriage being a bad idea!!!

Answer 4

I do know that if you hyphenate your last name there is a trick from keeping your credit scores from being effected by hubby...whish I knew about that one before I changed mine.

It is hard to change your name though.  My sister and I both had a very difficult time giving up our family name.  In the end I did change mine because it was going to be WAY long if I hyphenated it...seriously...I totally LOST the name game.

Answer 5

He sounds like a control freak to me. Apparently, he&#039;s still living in the 19th century, like most guys are. I&#039;m all for keeping your name, as I believe in equality of the sexes, NOT ownership. Why should it have to be the woman to give up her name? And why can&#039;t kids get the mother&#039;s last name or at least both parents&#039; names (like Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban did)?

My last boyfriend was like your fiance. He wanted me to take his last name, which was &quot;Titcombe&quot;. I said I&#039;m not changing my name to that, and he threw a temper tantrum. He wanted me to change everything about myself, even my religion to his. It didn&#039;t work out. This other guy I like accepts me the way I am. He&#039;s a modern man, as he believes in equality. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

If you keep your last name what happens when you have a kid?

Either the kid has a hyphenated last name or you choose only one of your last names for them.

How would you feel if your child did not have your last name? How would your husband feel?

If the kid goes hyphenated and marries someone who thinks like you then your grandchildren will have FOUR last names.

Get over yourselves ladies and take your husband&#039;s last name.

If your mom had not done that then you would not even have that last name.

A family needs ONE name not multiple.  

Answer 7

Well, I love my maiden last name and I did the hyphen thing! So Just in case, it fails I can go back to being me comfortably!

Answer 8

Its a tradition, like wearing a white dress, and getting walked down the aisle, etc....

I think the whole &#039;if you really love someone&#039; thing is kind of a cheap shot, but its like any tradition in a wedding...... *shrug*

Answer 9

It&#039;s not his decision- it&#039;s your name! He sounds really immature if he thinks that you only love him if you change your last name. That would make me so mad if my husband said that! Keep your name if you want to regardless of what he says. Oh, and tell him he&#039;s acting like a child!

Answer 10

I have my same name never changed it and is now 21 years

Answer 11

Well, so, following his logic, if he loved YOU, he would change HIS name to yours.

Obviously, he&#039;s not gonna do it. Does it mean that he doesn&#039;t love you?

I sure hope you guys aren&#039;t measuring love by what name either one of you chooses to use. Your names are your personal choice, and both of you may choose to change or keep them. If you like your name and want to keep it - why is it an issue? Sounds like he needs to grow up and learn what love truly is.

There really aren&#039;t many options. You will have to choose one that you feel most comfortable with.

- Keep your name

- Hyphenate (just you, or both of you)

- Change your name to his

- Change your last name to his and make your own last name your new middle name

- Take his last name as your middle name (he may also choose to take your name as his middle name)

- Combine parts of your names in some way to create a new last name

- Both of you can pick a whole new last name to go by after you&#039;re married

Truthfully, for most people I know it&#039;s not even a problem. I&#039;ve met plenty of married women who kept their own last names, and it&#039;s not an issue. Your fiancé may need to broaden his horizons a bit.

Answer 12

Both of my sisters kept their maiden names, and I told my wife it was her choice.  I would be content with anything she chose.  She kept her maiden name, which was a better idea anyway because, as she pointed out, her initials would have been &quot;SAD&quot;.  I&#039;ve always wanted my wife to be happy ;).  Both of my wife&#039;s sisters have gone back to their maiden names, and will likely keep them if they ever re-marry.    

Answer 13

Of course the name is going to sound weird and different. It&#039;s going to be a new name.  You&#039;ll get used to it.  As far as picking your battles, this seems like something small.  BUT if you guys can&#039;t agree, don&#039;t get married until you do.  

Answer 14

You can hyphenate it, or switch your maiden last name to your middle name so you can still keep it.

I personally just changed to my husband&#039;s last name because I wanted to and all the other options were too much work, but you can do it either way.