Last night i was masturbating with a vase and i didn't know it was chipped it sliced me open! what do i do!?

Question

i was masturbating with a vase and it had a chip! it sliced open my v****a and its bleeding very heavily and its extremely painful i think i need to see a doctor! what can i tell my mom?!?!?!

please no mean answers im in a lot of pain!

Answer 1

Take a pain killer and tell your mom the truth. You don't want to end up like that girl who masturbated with a plunger... And next time, don't use something that may be broken!

Answer 2

Can you go to a Dr. without telling your mom?  Doctors have seen everything, they'll help you without giving you a hard time.  They know masturbating is very normal, don't worry.  But if you have to tell  your mom, hopefully she'll know that it's normal too.  Or just go to an emergency room if it's still bleeding.

Don't take aspirin!! It will make your blood thinner and you'll bleed more.  And use ice, not warm water.  These people are not being helpful when they tell you to do things that will not stop the bleeding.

Answer 3

ok, just have baths with luke warm salt water, this is a natural healing agent.  Through the day, just put a little bit of vaseline on the area, and leave it until it heals.

Good Luck.  It will take a good few weeks before it heals.

Answer 4

Just tell ur mum u need to see a doctor ASAP, don't say why.

Was it a good o****m though?

Answer 5

Alright, first things first you need to tell your mom and just tell her that you cut yourself with your nail or go as far as to say a tamax cut you.  You do need to see a doctor ASAP. I have seen a lot worse then you, people do some crazy things. Once a girl used a carrot and got it stuck. Another case a girl used her bed post and it broke causing it to jam her insides brusing it badly. everyone was okay remember we are made to have babies come out of us so you should be fine. Now in case this is a joke, Not funny these things do happend and are not a joking matter. I have seen to many people in the ER to laugh.

If this is real You really need to be careful about were you post things this is JOKES AND RIDDLES. Good luck

Answer 6

Rubbing alcohol.  

Answer 7

it's called a d***o. you need one.

Answer 8

tell your mom that you had trouble shaving and you cut yourself

Answer 9

is this a joke or a riddle?  

Answer 10

This is a joke. Come on people; it's in he jokes and riddles section and her SN is icybutthole.

Good laugh though

Answer 11

Buy a new vase.

Answer 12

You can Go to Doc, you might Heart the v****a with the Nail, Tell you mom that you got cut when Cleaning with the Razor.......... :)

regards

Answer 13

Go see a doctor really really fast

Tell your mum it is a crazy period that won't stop, maybe?

Don't lie to the doctor

Answer 14

Tell her you were puting in a tampon, or if your not menstrating, that you were experimenting, and you accidentilly slipped your finger up, and the finger had on a rather large ring that sliced you up.

GET TO THE DOCTOR, and stop the bleeding by using ice, but do NOT use asprin, because it thins the blood.

Answer 15

masturbating is normal..so can just tell your mom she will understand....say it was the first time....

Answer 16

Ouch. rinse it under water for 5 mins, dry it with a small cloth and put it under pressure to stop the blood from flowing. tell your mom what happened, don't lie. Never lie when in emergencies. stay calm, try not to panic. but what ever you do, go see a doctor, they are the professionals. don't be worried about what they might think, because it's an emergency. using alcohol to numb the pain if you have too.

Answer 17

I don't suggest you expect her to kiss it and make it better, you should just try a tampon to stop the bleeding, and give it a rest for a few days

unless your  bleeding a lot I think there is nothing to worry about.

and definitely find a better device for your pleasure in the future.  

Answer 18

If its on or near the outside, tell her you cut yourself shaving.  If its inside then tell her you had s*x with a BIG dude.

Answer 19

I can't believe you set up an account on Y/A just to ask this question, and then post it in Jokes & Riddles, instead of Medicine, shock value...?

Answer 20

i just peed my pants laughing