Last night..?

Question

Last night it was my nephews 1st birthday so they had cupcakes as his birthday cake, I have made it perfectley clear that I dont want my son (18 months) to have any sort of sugary things such as chocolate juice or anything like that I dont see the point, he is a baby he doesnt know what chocolate is so he doesnt expect it and if he needs fruit I give him banana or apple instead of juice.

To get to the point my mum snuck him a chocolate cupcake and I cought her I was not happy but she thinks I am being rediculous and should let him have sweets and things where as I dont.. Am I being to over protective?

Answer 1

I think she should have asked you, the boy's mother for permission first. And I think you should have allowed your son to have a taste. It isn't bad for kids to eat sweets, and at 18 mos. he's only going to get it if you give it to him. You won't have to worry about raising a sugar addict or anything!  My daughter's 16 mos. old now, and she's just starting on the sweets. But she's just like her older brothers, they'd all rather have fresh fruit than junk food. They'll eat it when it's offered, but I had to teach them that crying for junk food doesn't work, and neither does eating junk food over healthy food.

Answer 2

You know my sister-in-law was the exact same way. My mother would sneak in a lollipop whenever she wasn't around and she would freak out.

For your mother, as a grandmother, she just wants to have fun with your baby. I think even though you are being a bit overprotective, it is your baby and you have a right to not give him foods you don't want to.

So my point is don't dwell on the situation, but ask your mother to respect you and confirm such foods with you in the future.

Answer 3

i can understand where your coming from. my mother was the same with us girls and i try and do the same with my son. but its a party. let your child have some treats as its only every now and then and its a special occasion. the only time my sis and i had softdrink was at party's etc and we still dont care for it and will only have that stuff at party's most times. if you dont let your child have these treats when every other child is, he'll wonder why and when he's old enough to buy these on his own, he could possibly pig out on them all the time. you dont have to give it to him all the time, just on special occasions or as a treat for being the wonderful son he is!!!!

Answer 4

thats weird just let the kid have some every now and then it wont hurt him i understand you are just looking out for him but i dont see by not letting him have sweet is protecting him

Answer 5

Your making a GIANT rod for your back for all

the future B'Days and major Cup Cakes events

that will now follow....such as play school / Group

picnics , other family birthdays , school  events.

So On ,

But you have a great point been his mum and

protecting him from all these bad things is good,

the only thing is you cant always be there so

what can you do ?  Protect him as long as you can

making not too much a fuss .  But i know how you

feel ......your mum and my mum must be Twins !

Answer 6

i was the same as you when my boys were young, i didn't see the point to adding sugar to a diet where they had no idea what the taste of it was,

I'm glad i was like that because my boys specially my older one (because i was more strict with him been the first,) he hates juice and soft drink they can make a packet of lifesavers last two weeks,  

they do now (been much older) have sweets at other peoples houses as a treat like dessert after dinner but not at home unless we have people over.

everyone is different and i admire people who have the guts to stick up for what they want for their children.and there is nothing wrong with been protective, specially when it comes to what you are putting into their little bodies

i just love that my mum respected me for my decisions and always asked before she gave them anything

Answer 7

it was a party. It is okay to have it occassionally or you will end up with a child the gorges on it when he can get to it. Keep it all for parties and your child will be fine. He will think on the food as party food and not everyday food which is what it should be. I agree with you on the fruit over fruit juice. Kids do not need juice. My daughter started having it at about 7 years old as something to have with breakfast but it is watered down (as I water my own down). I would rather my kids get there vitamins from the fruit , not the juice. My son won't even drink juice. You need to relax a little on the rules as in the end it is your son that will suffer. It is not fair to let everyone eat it around him. My sons friend was not allowed sugar or anything and at school he would tell my son he would be his slave for his play lunch. I would pack a muffin or a small piece of slice or cake (whatever I hade made at home) for school. So my son got a slave and his friend got the sugar he was banned at home .I put a stop to it and eventually told the mum what was happening and now she allows him to have something a few times a week. It also made sense of what happened here. Both my kids had friends over and as a special treat I let them make 2 lolly necklaces. His two were gone in seconds. When he was going home I found this out because I asked where it was to take home and he said he ate them both, thats when his mum said he was not allowed sugar (whoops, she should have told me before hand0...my point is a little now and then is better than never

Answer 8

I totally see where you're coming from. At the same time I do think seeing as it's a birthday party and all, he should be free to have a cupcake. Yes, your Mum stepped over the line when she went behind your back but that's what Grandmas do - they spoil their grandchildren!! I know my Grandfather was the first person I'd go to when my Mum said no!!

Answer 9

yes, relax - he's 1 - let him have a cupcake at his birthday for God's sake. 1 won't hurt him - just don't make a habit of it

Answer 10

Way over protective. Yes you want your child to be healthy as we all want for our own kids, but not being able to have some cake at a party is very overboard. If he has a healthy breakfast lunch and tea, then why should he miss out of fun stuff to eat once in a while?

Answer 11

It is your decision and your mom was out of line to undermind you.  BUT, on the other hand, you should allow your child to have a little bite.  He is over a year and a half and it is not like you feed him that stuff every day.  I am sure that you have a little bite of something here and there.  Don't be such a strict mom....let go a little.  Your baby is a toddler now and not a baby.  It is not like you are feeding your kid a cigarette...it is only a bite of a cupcake.

Grandparents are supposed to be allowed to spoil theri kids and let them do stuff that their parents don't usually let them do.  My son associates his great grandma with cookies.  She always has them for him but he does not see her everyday so it is okay.

Answer 12

yes! just relax it was a special occasion. it wont hurt him. its good that u dont give it to him all the time but every now and then is fine. i do the same with my daughter whos 2. i dont buy the stuff but every now and then i will buy a treat.

Answer 13

Your child your decision.  Obvoiusly you've made your choice clear to your mum so explain to her again that she needs to respect your choice.

Answer 14

lol im so the same i hated my kids having lollys or cordial or chocalate or anything thats sugery.. i used to flip my lid wen i found out people had been giving them things like that

but now i have relaxed alot i let them have it as treat like a birthday party or similar

Answer 15

everything in moderation !

Answer 16

This is you child and people should respect your wishes in relation to what is given to your child.

However, as a parent, I feel that perhaps you are being just a little over protective. You are obviously feeding him very well, so a treat now and then will not do any harm. Harm comes when sweets are given all day every day like some people allow. Again, their child their choice, but sweets all the time is not good!

There is also a fine line with the grandparents as they feel it is their right to spoil your child. I don't know what it is but this is common occurrence. My mother-in law (peace be with her) was always doing things against our wishes. However, this was sometimes a bit of a trade off. Because it made her feel special that she was giving our child something that she felt our child was missing out on, it made it easier for baby sitting. In other words, if you set down too many rules for your own child, sometimes people feel this as a direct attack on their own set of values. Thus they are reluctant to help you out if there comes a time when you need a bit of baby sitting done. Nothing is said about but, but it often thought.

So, if for example your child is allergic to orange juice, and this is inadvertently given, then yes, this can cause serious harm to your child and you are well within your rights to go off! But, even though I know it is still your child and your choice, one treat from time will do no harm. And that is probably the main point - unless it is actually going to do harm, or it is done on a continual basis, then no problem. We are parents! It is our job to be flexible and diplomatic!!

I know I have prattled a bit but I hope you get what I am trying to say.

Good luck!

Answer 17

i think society has blown things way out of hand! ...the kids that have food related medical problems are usually the ones having these foods everyday no breaks, this really does annoy me because when i grew up i knew that they were snack junk foods not everyday food and we were very lucky to get a glass of coke but were never told no you cant have that ever! we grew up fine, no medical conditions (obesity etc) but today you give your child a happy meal and your destroying their lives.... people really need to relax