Last one of the day. How can I make this better?

Question

No Peace - rondolet

Anemic dreams,

fearing this life, fearing all love.

Anemic dreams,

reality ripped at the seams,

unaided by the gods above,

my breath choked off by Fate's black glove,

anemic dreams.

Answer 1

This is really good. It could have one more line, maybe a single word like 'dismay'?

Answer 2

truth is the fearless.

wake up anemic dream,

your last waking awaits.

Fates black glove

turns its grip,

and aids my intrepid battle.

wake anemic dream,

and vanish thru rune

and Love Made polished chrome!

schwasssssh!

there Eva. i think i killed it.

did that make it better?

Answer 3

Interesting concept of an "Anemic dream".  Dreams that are deficient in some respect as the blood can be deficient in iron and as a result can weaken our defenses.   Very good.

Answer 4

It's clever, now I a wait your joyful muse, Blessings Be.

Answer 5

Great visual - anemic dreams - devoid of iron - therefore unable to sustain weight ♥

Answer 6

Well done, sweet petunia petal.  Intake a bit of iron, and a bit of sugar, and you will sleep better soon.

Answer 7

We need our dreams to live just as we need food to eat; they are food for the soul.  "Anemic dreams" are not nourishing  leaving one undefended against reality, which will then become "ripped at the seams". And fear is one way to suck the life out of your dreams.  As always, your words are eloquent and your perspective intriguing.  Thank you.