Late night poem... any thoughts?

Question

Drain dreams

Drown smell

Speaking

Come Here

Today

and feel

this smell

Smooth Vapors

Drift discoveries

Fresh with surprise

Familiar with a hint of birth

and a touch of blue moon,

Saturated with breeze

and oozing life...

Lonely & full,

Displaced into perfection...

How could it be?

Such perfection...

In a stopped clock,

that although it may be broken,

will continue to tell it right twice a day...

Answer 1

Even though I didn't really understand it,

very beautiful none the less :)

x

Answer 2

The poem did nothing for me until the line, "How could it be"...I'd recommend dropping the entire poem down to that point...those five lines don't provide any new information, but they provide it in a new, fresh way...and it's perfect...but I'd edit the last line to read, "will still tell the right time twice each day"...it flows much better and has a better flow.  The rest of the poem is you being tired...the last five lines is you being brilliant!

...keep writing

Answer 3

That is bloody brilliant. I love it. You really have a rare talent, wow!