Lately I have been trying to stop nagging/complaining and starting arguments, but it's become hard, help?

Question

It seems like I find something to complain about everyday. How do I stop?

Answer 1

Well - what kinds of things are you complaining about? If you are complaining about something valid - like your husband is drinking and being violent, then that's one thing. If you are nagging or complaining about smaller things, like picking up clothes, etc. then you need to learn how to pick your battles.

I know that I get upset with my husband because he likes to just leave things everywhere - but, in order to keep myself sane I try to ask him to do a few big things...and I also remind myself how much he has changed. Yeah, it would be nice if he could pick up his stuff - but in the grand scheme of things a pair of pants on the floor isn't going to kill me; he treats me like a princess, loves me and we are happy - sometimes it's hard, but let the little things go.  

Answer 2

You need JESUS. Think of one thing that you are thankful for and appreciate it. Try helping someone less fortunate than you. go to the homeless shelter, visit a senior citizens home, help needy and hungry children, visit some of these situations and see if you'll still have something to complain about.

Answer 3

If you really want to stop,just do it. Try to look for positive things about your partner. The more positive you become,the more positive strokes you'll get back. it goes on & on,I believe.At least that's how it works in my family.Life is difficult at times.Now,with the real estate market in such bad shape,the gas & food prices going up,we all tend to be dealing with more stress.So, we have to put even more effort into being positive,since we have to live through it anyway,we may as well try to do our best at being happy.If you still can't change the behavior,there may be a deeper problem that only a counselor may help.BOL to you.

Answer 4

Well first off are your complaints valid? I mean if you are getting this upset to where you need to swear off complaining/arguing, you need to evaluate why you are so angry. And if you are justly angry then talk it out with whoever your angry with.

Answer 5

try to be more positive. every time you're about to say something negative rebutt it with a positive. you may be depressed about something that you don't want to discuss. but you have to force yourself to be optimistic and soon you'll see the greater of things and your outlook may naturally change.

Answer 6

Just my opinion.  I think some personalities tend to do this more.  I am not big on horoscopes--but look up your horoscope.  Maybe this is somewhat your nature.  Next--do you have cause for nagging/complaining and starting arguments??  Maybe you have every right to be this way.  If not--then try being thankful for the many things you do have.  A roof over you head--a bed to sleep in--shelter from the weather (snow, rain, heat,)--a car to drive--enough food to eat--and I could go on forever.  I try to dwell on the things I DO have in life--not what I DO NOT have.  This might help.  Good Luck to ya

Answer 7

Breathe deep & think about what you're blessed with.  Whenever I get like that I try to remind myself what the bigger picture is about.  I live in the United States, I have people who love me despite my faults, I have a roof over my head, I never go hungry, I have great pets & beautiful plants.  As silly as that seems there are people who don't even know where they're sleeping tonight.

Answer 8

You have to learn to stop yourself. You need to consciencely stop and think before you open your mouth. Its something that takes patience, from both of you. Maybe you can have him give you a look or a sign when you get that way. Something needs to be done because this can be a real relationship killer.