Lawn Ornaments?

Question

I have a deathly fear of those shiny/colored balls in poeple's yards. They are everywhere and i think they are out to kill me where should I hide?

Answer 1

You can hide behind the Budda statue, the St Francis statue or the large pagoda statue in my yard!

Answer 2

You have every right to be afraid....They are the communication hub for lawn gnomes who are known to attack.   There is no place to hide from the hub.  The spherical shape allows for every area outside to be seen.  The only safe place is an apartment in the city.  Not much room for gnomes or other such tacky...I mean tactical decor.

Also, please be aware of concrete squirrels...vicious....