Lazy Boyfriend will he change??

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3years we have two beautiful children 21months and 5months. We are arguing a lot lately because he is so lazy i've had to go back to work early after maternity leave because he doesn't work and we needed the money. I have a good job and he is on long term sick so he expects me to pay for everything he contributes nothing towards household bills and doesn't give me a penny for our children. I have to work and do all the household jobs as well as look after two baby's while he lays in bed i realize he's taking me for a fool but i love him and he is the father to my children. Does anyone think that he could change or am i wasting my time??

Answer 1

Well, its not your job to change him and guys over the age of 20 don't change that easily. I think that if he sees how much you are doing (that is when your not doing it any more) he will realize he needs to give you a hand.

Answer 2

If he hasn't changed by now..

You're better off leaving him.

He's just causing you frustration as well as another mouth to feed.

My mom was in the same situation as you, my father had to much pride to work at a fast food joint or gas station, so here merely, didn't work.

I think it was a good choice of my mom to leave him.

( I was only 2 years old ) and my mom was supporting the three of us all of her income.

Answer 3

Only if he wants to.

People do change. Sometimes for the better or worse.

One thing remain consistent though, we only change if we want to.

Answer 4

eventually maybe...

Answer 5

Your wasting your time, he won't ever change, your his free ride.

Answer 6

DTB .dump that *****  

Answer 7

Unless you put your foot down and lay down some rules, hes not gonna change. That is men all over - they'll continue to take advantage for as long as you'll let them. I really feel badly for you, cos I know it must be difficult with 2 children. If it wasn't for the children you'd probably have the strength to cut him out of your life for good.  

Answer 8

Don't count on it.

Answer 9

i doubt he will change on his own. tell him you are leaving him and he'll never see the kids again unless he changes

Answer 10

well maybe you can find something that interest him and maybe some how he finds his own meaning of life some how

Answer 11

as a rule, people dont change, all you can do, is change your reaction to him. maybe as a consequence of you changing your reation to him, then me might change some of his actions. But you cant change someone. Is he depressed?...as you are the soul provider?.....or has he always been this lazy?....if you, then mot much is going to change, unfortunately. you could try telling him how you feel, explaining that you are tired after your day at work and would appreciate some help with the house work and the kids....

if after the conersation, you can see that he is still not interested, and is in no way willing to help, then you need to reacess your situation, and decide what it is you want out of life...what you want for your kids.....and what you want from this guy.

you love him, cos he is the father of your kids.......anyone can be a father, is he a daddy though?........ best of luck to u :)

Answer 12

Sad to say for your kids, but probably not! give him an ultimatium and mean it, give him a date in the future with a goal for what you expect from him, if he can't give you that, you are wasting your time.

I mean this is what your children are going to expect from their relationships, is this what you want for your kids?

It sounds like you are a single mum already, you will be able to do it on your own, you just need to let him in on it, change or leave!

I think you are wasting you time

good luck

Answer 13

You say he is sick.  I would need to know what was wrong with him.  If he has a physical disability that makes him unable to work, or is he depressed, which there is medicine for so he can function

Answer 14

wake up dear... we're in 2008..

he'll never change.. he's taking everything for granted..

you've to work.. look after the kids...

look after him.. what's that????

u love him yes... n by his action..is he loving u too..

have u try to talk to him n try to find a solution?

give it a try before it's too late..

Answer 15

He potentially CAN change, but he WON'T as long as you continue to put up with this behavior. Why would he? He's getting a free ride, after all. If you're serious about making this work, then seek counseling with him. If he refuses to do so, then you need to separate for a while so that you can both take some time to yourselves and decide whether this relationship is worth it.

Answer 16

dump the b*****d immediately

Answer 17

Wow, umm... can you take the kids and live somewhere else? Putting the fear of abandonment in him could motivate him to make some efforts. Do it with a passive emotional hurt, and try your best not to argue, just portray the stress and hurt inside and how you need to make a new life... if that doesn't kick his *** off the couch and into being a man, then he's not worth it and you can just follow through with a separation.