Lazy selfish tenant what should I do? She's my friend? ?

Question

I am renting my spare room to my friend at a very reasonable rate 350pcm including bills. I did this because shewas desparate to move out of her mums house and couldn't afford the going rate. Since moving in 2 months ago she has not cleaned once, her room smells and she uses my stuff but only shops for herself, she doesn't offer guests drinks intact my guests make for her!

An example of her selfishness: after dinner one night I got up to take my plate to the sink, in the process I put my plate on top of hers so I could take them both, she then looked at me and said " I'm not taking your plate!" let's bare in mind I fed her that day!

I know she has to go but because she's my friend I don't know how to approach it, any ideas? I have spoken to her twice about her being selfish and lazy, it goes in one ear and out the other so ignorant is another thing. Also my sis visited and asked her for a drink and she refused even tho my sis was going to pay for her ticket to France!

I need any advice u can offer, I will not talk anymore I have told her twice that is enough.

Thank you

Answer 1

Do you have a lease with her?  If yes then you have to honor it, nothing she is doing would be so back that you could break the lease.  If you don't have a lease then either live with the problems or ask her to leave and if she refuses evict her.  

You want her to change, but she won't.  She may change a little bit and for a little while but deep down she isn't going to change.  You either live with it or tell her to go, there is no other option really.

Answer 2

Talk with her about how long she plans to stay. If she becomes angry, or defensive, or if she answers something a little too long, tell her that this arrangement was never meant to be permanent, and that you a) can't afford putting her up (with the price that she pays, plus food, supplies, etc)  b) that you have other plans for that room, or c) just tell her that although you two are friends, you think living with someone is too stressful. Hope this helps! Good luck!!

Answer 3

Well, for starters you need to look at your definition of slefish and lazy.  But I would talk to her and tell her it isn't working out and give her 30 days to find another place to live.  If she asks why, tell her she doesn not clean up after herself and is using alot more of your stuff and not contributing to the household as much as she should.

She isn't responsible for doing your dishes, bringing your guests drinks or any of that.  But she is responsible for cleaning up after herself and contributing her own food.

Answer 4

tell her ur sorry its not working out and shes going to have to start looking for a new place. plain and simple. y should u be miserable in ur own house?????? please.  

Answer 5

I'm sorry................. she's not your friend.  

You are her friend, but not the other way around.

Friends do not do these things to you.

Only time teaches us this.

Friendship is based on respect.

Any idea why she wanted out of her Mum's?  

Probably because she claims being "nagged" too much (to take a shower/clean her room, maybe?)

Let her loose, send her back, get her out...you deserve peace of mind and what you did to help her should be appreciated, not abused and taken advantage of.

Stop buying her things also (the ticket to France)

OR make it a one-way ticket!

You first need to accept that the friendship is probably not salvagable.  Until you decide it's okay to loose your "friend" then you'll waiver in your actions.  Then evaluate your next steps.

I'm assuming she has no legal documentation with you (rental agreement/signed, etc...) so the best I can think of is tell her the move date and stick to it.  Put it in writing on the day you have this talk or just hand her a letter if you truly do not want to talk anymore.  

Keep a dated copy for yourself and a copy to her.  

Keep the authorities informed so they can possibly evacuate her if she is still there one day past the evacuation date.  

(Assuming you have full authority on your lease/rental agreement/mortgage)  

She can not legally remain in a home where she is not wanted with no legal standing.  If things get ugly and you fear she will try to hurt you or your property, even a restraining order would be an option.

(Rough times call for rough answers)