Learning to drive is impossible...Help!?

Question

Any one have any stories or advise for me?

I am currently learning to drive with what started as a semi intensive course but has been extended because i'm just not picking it up quick enough. I'm now doing one or two 1.5 hour lessons per week and in all, i've had 12 hours tutition.

I am having really big issues with a few things like completely forgetting how to start the car and pull off safely when i first get in (basically im forgetting from lesson to lesson)

- when i go really fast (50-60 mph) instead of my instinct saying "this is the speed limit", i naturally brake because i'm afraid and i don't feel safe.

So far, apart from basic road driving (round abouts, T Juntions etc) - I havent tried any manouverse except for the emergency stop which i did do so well and had to stop driving all together because I couldnt concentrate afterwards.

My instructor is clearly fustrated with me as I am with myself but i really need to learn to drive and am really finding that this is the hardest things I have ever had to do.

Im stuck at a brick wall and i erally don't know what to do!

Answer 1

You need a patient instructor, and a car on private ground.  Have a three or four hour session of simply moving the car around, shutting it down safely, get out, back in, restart and move again.

    Get a relative to list you as a named-driver on their insurance, and start doing all the family driving.  Learning is not about passing a test, it is about learning a life-skill.  I did 27,000 miles as a learner in 18 months, when it came to the test, I just couldn't do it wrong.  twenty five years later, clean licence, no accidents.

Don't rush it.  I've taught a few relatives to drive, just pace yourself, it will come.

Answer 2

My mother could not remember the correct position of the turn indicator and was caught up many times going up on ramps. When passing another car she would steadfastly refuse to accelerate to do so. The slightest impediment would throw her into a panic. She should never have been given a license. Maybe your one of these types too. Some people just shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car.

Answer 3

After 12 hours what were you thinking you would be doing. Some people learn quickly and others take their time.

As an instructor I would be trying to get you to settle yourself first then work on you pulling away from the kerb and joining traffic.

I had a girl some years ago, when I went to pick her up for the first lesson, there was no reply at her door. So as it was a sunday I decided to head home.  On the way home I got a phone call.  It was my pupil asking why I hadn't turned up. I told her I did, but she was adamant I hadn't . I went back to get her and you could you tell she had only just woken up.  SO after a few questions about her driving history it turns out her dad had already taken her out and we were going to practice on the road that she had done with her dad. We swopped over and I said that I would watch too see how she got on. She sat there, nothing.  One thing that struck me was that she would never look me in the eye when we spoke. This I don't like.  So I helped her with the cockpit drill, and she seemed to take it in.  We eventually pulled away and then we stopped. Praised her, and told her to do it again. Again, nothing, had to help her.  move off/stop, move off/stop.  We did that for the full length of the road, about 1/2 mile. I then turned the car round and asked her to tell me what to do ( too see if she had got it) Not a word, she would look out the window. Ok, let's do it again. swopped over and watch her just look out the window. We started the question and answer again.  Her dad had taken her along this road, how did she do with him? good was the reply. Ok, and did you dad think you were good too? NO, he didn't let me get into the drivers seat!!!! He had taken her along this road AND showed her WHAT to do. Ok straight back to the beginning. Over the 12 WEEKS ( 2 hour per week ) we did get too move off, but when she approached junctions, or park up or anytime we slowed down, the car would judder to a halt and she would just sit there looking at the dashboard. I asked her what caused it, NOTHING NOT A GLIMMER  she would sit there in total silence. After about the week 15 I had to admit defeat. I just couldn't carry on trying to get her to talk to me.  I have seen this girl since, walking from her village to the next town ( 5 miles), so I'm assuming she was never going to be a driver, just a pedestrian.

Answer 4

as an instructor I can tell you that people learn at different speeds. some pick up driving forwards easily but then take ages to learn the manovers. change your instructor if he is pushing you to hard take your time and ignore the idiots that tell you that its taking to long, just because you learn quick doesn't mean you are a good driver. Wish you all the best

Answer 5

If JG pulled his head out of his own **** he might realise that driving has changed considerably since the 1950's when I presume he learnt to drive!!

Do not worry, and do not give up. I think that semi intensive course and intensive courses only suit certain people, and I think your instructor is expecting you to learn at HIS speed and not at your speed. If - as you say - your instructor is getting frustrated, then that is HIS problem and I think maybe an instructor change would be wise.

Find someone who is willing to let you get on with learning at your speed - it sounds like you really want to pass and don't care what it takes - in which case your instructor should take the same attitude so that when you are learning you are relaxed and enjoy it. If your instructor is pushing u then you will get nervous and make mistakes.

To anyone else like JG (who passed their test in the days when you needed someone walking in front of the car waving a flag) it is quite common to need more than 10 minutes in a car these days in order to pass your test! I learnt in 1997 and it took me about 30 hours and I went out practicing in my mums car EVERY possible second!

Answer 6

where do you live i will teach you  get your self out on and old country road an  drive doing your starts stops y turns backing up  u turns taking off SLOWLY.. go to a farmers home and by 2 bails of hay and use them for your pearlel parking pretend there cars ok . pretend your passing other cars by  changing lanes and speeding up   practice you turn signals both by hand and  with the blinker. take your time rome wasnt built in a day practice  practice practice befor you hit the city roads and cause a major accedent be sure of your self and your ableity to drive with safty  get a friend to help you reading a book isnt the same as getting out there on a country road and driving hope this helps good luck and pray like never befor for confadence  

Answer 7

You are scaring me - and your driving instructor is definitely scaring me!  Do you really expect to be able to learn all of the skills of handling a car in twelve hours?

Is your driving instructor expecting you to drive at 50-60 mile per hour after just twelve hours instruction?

Please, change your driving instructor - whoever they are they have no idea - probably one of these people that have taken up a franchise so that they can get a free car!

Take your time and find an instructor that will give you that time and space.  Learn to manoeuvre the car.  You should be able to turn the car around on a road - usually called a 'three point turn' but doesn't have to only take three moves.  Reversing around a corner?  Parking the car in a limited space?  If your guy hasn't taught you this, then make a complaint for goodness sake - it isn't you with the problem.

And to be honest, I have been driving for over thirty years - and now have my second automatic transmission car.  And I find that I have to think about not using the clutch every bit as much as many years ago I had to think about using it!

Good luck with your driving - at least you are thinking about it - there are too many idiots out there that just want a license but still have no idea of how to drive.

Answer 8

Have you thought about an intensive driving course where you attend every day for two weeks or so. This would give you less time to forget between lessons.

Driving can be difficult to learn and many people do take a large number of lessons

Answer 9

I agree, you ought to change your instructor. We all have different ways of relating to people and if you clash even slightly with him you won't be doing as well as otherwise.  When hunting for a new one, explain that you have been trying but don't feel you're getting anywhere and need someone with a lot of patience.  You'll soon find someone you click with.  You may also be feeling under pressure and would benefit from spacing out your lessons a bit more, not everyone is suitable for "intensive" training.

Don't panic, very, very few people are completely incapable, sometimes it takes longer to come and then you suddenly realise you're getting it and you're away!

Answer 10

Get a new driving instructor; in fact, changing to a different driving school might be a good idea. There's no style of teaching that works for everyone.

It sounds as though you need to take things slowly, and starting out with a semi-intensive course might have done more harm than good. Take a break, try not to dwell on what you've learned already, and start afresh.

Answer 11

Change driving instructors!

I know it doesn't sound great but I had the same problems when I learned to drive, I changed instructors and I was fine.

Maybe you just need a different method of teaching. Also, some of the bigger driving schools now have a simulator so that you can build up your confidence before you get out on the road

Answer 12

To be honest, it doesn't sound like you're suited to driving. After twelve hours, there is something very wrong with being unable to grasp the basics. I would seriously consider giving up, some people just aren't meant to drive.

Sorry if I've offended, but the culture now seems to be for people to expect to have thirty or forty hours of lessons. I find this ridiculous, when I learnt to drive, really poor drivers would possibly need fifteen to twenty hours, any more, and they'd quite rughtly give up. (My sister did, she was useless, she's now thirty, she's never bothered since).

The big thing nowadays is that people expect to learn to drive purely with an instructor - this is a virtual impossibility, as if you don't practice in between lessons, as you've found, it's like starting from scratch every time.

The human brain is not conditioned to travel at 60mph, so you need to 'convince' it that doing so is OK. Doing this for an hour or two a week is just not enough, it's probably cheaper to buy, tax, insure & run a car for practice than to spend the inevitable thousand pounds or more on infrequent lessons.

I stand by my initial response - a car is a tonne & a half of lethal weapon in the wrong hands - changing instructors, or continuing to slam on the brakes at speed, or losing concentration can kill people, and probably not yourself.

I would much prefer people like yourself being given the opportunity to spend eight or ten hours in one day on a race track or other non - public arena to familiarise yourself with the 'feel' of driving.

There are some bloody awful drivers on the roads already, don't become another one...

Answer 13

watch how  others  drive and  take  tips  from them (only if they're  good  drivers)

When your  learning  , your  learning how to pass the  test , once you've done that you'll really  learn how to  drive

driving  will become  second  nature  after a  while and you wont  even   think about changing gear you'll  just do it

If you  still have problem  learn  to drive an automatic  

Answer 14

If you have your permit you should ask a parent or something to help you practice, just around the neighborhood or something. Practice is the only way to get it down.

And this sounds stupid, but if you have any grand theft auto game, it could help to try to drive safely without hitting other cars in the game (which is harder than real world driving).

I actually used grand theft auto three to practice parallel parking when I didnt have a car around.

Answer 15

Driving doesnt come naturally to everyone. and you may have problems with coodination or memory, but i think your biggest problem is that you dont think you can do it.

You will pick up the physical skills with enough practice (12 isnt a lot of lessons). You need to get you frame of mind right as well.

Answer 16

Firstly try to stop worrying.  There are many people who find it difficult to learn to drive and with only 12 hours it is very early days to start worrying.  I am also puzzled as to why you are being asked to drive at speed when you have not fully grasped the basics like starting and stopping etc.  May I suggest a different instructor to see if that is some of your problem as an instructor should Never get frustrated.