Lee Westwood during an interview with a reporter
World number one Lee Westwood gave an interview to a sports news channel last week. He gave answers that were quite expected from an Englishman. However, this is what I think he wanted to say instead.
Interviewer: Never mind being World No.1, you seem to be the new King of Twitter, too.
Westy: Yeah, you see a secret to this skill is by going through several jokes sites and hiring a staff that shall tweet lame jokes. After all, no one will find out whether it is Lee Westwood or his manager behind the screen (grins).
Interviewer: Tiger's on Twitter, but he is not joining in much is he?
Westy: Man, he is such a shy kid. Tiger once told me that his 5th grade teacher gave him a time out for talking in the class and ever since he has been thinking that he will get one if he opens up. Besides, dude, this happens to be my interview,
what has Tiger Woods got to do with it!
Interviewer: Being No.1, is it a dream come true?
Westy: Don’t ask man. I was a big boned as a kid and every time I flunked in the class, my mom use to say, “Westy baby, I’m sure you will become a golfer when you grow up”.
Interviewer: Why, what did you do as a kid?
Westy: Oh, I remember my maths teacher told me to put in more effort and I would spend the entire day in the shopping malls searching for a thing called effort. The putting practice, which I did as a child has earned me the spot on which I stand today.
Interviewer: How has being No. 1 changed you?
Westy: People say I am walking with more of a swagger and why shouldn’t I? Just look at me, I have the hottest chicks around me. Do you see other guys with the same crew? Moreover, I don’t buy stuff on credit from the store or pro shop anymore. Rather, I
pay through my brand new gold card (shows off his debit card).
Interviewer: Do you enjoy being a celebrity?
Westy: Yes, I do [smiles]. I worked twenty years of my life to become a celebrity and now I love it. However, the best part has yet to come, as I am waiting for Tyra Banks to approach me for her show, ‘Britons next top model.’ After that, I am going to walk
the ramp in designer wears.
Interviewer: Colin Montgomerie says you are the favourite to win the Masters, but you have had a love/hate relationship with the Masters lately, right?
Westy: Firstly, let me answer the first part of the question. Monty is taking my side, because he needs my secret slimming tonic. We had a deal that if I give him my sliming formula, he in return will back me whenever required.
Secondly, yes I hate Masters and Augusta National! Do you want to know the reason? Recently, I started using the PGA 12 game application on Facebook and guess what happened. I could not equal the par in the game! I was thinking if the claim holds true regarding
the game features bearing resemblance with the actual course, I would lose in real life.
Interviewer: A final world on Monty, please.
Westy: For Christ sake, I am not dating him! This is the second time in last five minutes that you have asked a question regarding him. Ask me about Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears, but spare him the horror. I am not interested in answering vague
questions about other golfers.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and are not bettor.com’s or daj.com’s official editorial stance.
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