Legal rights over fiance's son?

Question

I am engaged to a man who has a 3 year old son. His mother passed a way some time ago. My fiance is a police officer. I am willing to adopt, but only after we are married. The wedding will not be for a while yet. How can we make sure that I am the one, not his nearest blood relative, to look after him should anything happen to my fiance?

Answer 1

In some cases a simple Will is all you need. However if the family wishes to they can fight that arrangement and will more then likely when because the child is related to them and not you until the adoption. Should something happen after the adoption you are the child's mother and the child can not be taken from you. Your best bet would be to go ahead and adopt the child if you truly love them or go ahead and get married and adopt the child but have the wedding later on.

Answer 2

Is there a reason to think that the relatives may have an issue with it?  If something happens to him, then he probably should go with a relative.  I am not trying to be crude or cold, but you are not a relative, and really have no right to raise the child until after you are married.

I would discuss the matter with his family.  Otherwise, the child could get caught up in legal matters that he shouldn't have to deal with.

Answer 3

I would recommend having your fiance speak to an attorney with regards to his will and possibly a guardianship for the child in the event of death.   We want to insure that my brother gets our son if something should happen to us, so we are going to be meeting with an attorney to insure we have all the paperwork processed properly.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Talk to your lawyer and child protection services or have him make out a will saying you have the right to adopt if something happens

Answer 5

well...as of the moment you dont have the legal right over the son, but if you are really willing talk to your fiance and do everything in papers

Answer 6

have your fiance write a will giving you gaurdianship of his son if anything should happen. That is what I did with my will

Answer 7

Your fiance needs to have it written up in his will that you would be the guardian of his son if something happens to him.  If he doesn't do that & something happens, then the courts and child welfare will get involved & will made decisions that might not mesh with what your fiance would have chosen.

Once you're married & the adoption is complete it would be an automatic thing because you would be the kiddos MOM! :-)

Answer 8

Your fiance must have a will. That is absolutely necessary. And in the will, he designates the guardian for his child. He would name you to that responsibility. My husband and I named two friends to be guardians for our children if something happened to both of us.

  By the way, when you and your husband are married, you would revise the will and have two or one person named as guardian for the child should something happen to both of you.

  This is very very important! Ask the lawyer what happens if you don't do this and you will realize just how important this is.

Answer 9

why do you think that something will happen to him? So why do you want to marry him then?

Answer 10

Before you adopt him make sure it is in your fiance's will....But once you have adopted him, he is considered your kid.  But I would also have it in the will as back-up if a family member wanted custody.

Answer 11

If your fiance agrees with that, then he should put it in documentation, possibly his will.

Answer 12

I believe you can be appointed guardian . Consult a lawyer for details in your state. You should also be in the guys will if he wants to leave any money or property to you .

Answer 13

it is a matter of legal papers and a will.  If he leaves it in his will that you should be responsible for the child then the courts will look at that first.  Why don't you want to adopt him now though?  Since you are planning to marry?  Do you think there is a chance you two won't be together in the future?

Answer 14

Well, you can't legally adopt him until you are married anyway.  The only thing he can do is put it into a will that you would be guardian.  The judge can choose to honor it or not.  Most of the time, if there is a willing, financially-able blood relative, they will not honor it and the child will go to the blood relative.  In the longrun, that is usually the best choice for the child.  However, if it is a choice between the child going into Foster Care and yourself, they will usually side with the will.  

I only know of one case personally, and yes, although it was in his will that the child would go to his GF, the child went to a relative.  However, in Duluth, the judge honored the will because they stated a REASON why they didn't want the child to go to specific relatives. Thus the two children went to the friends named in the will instead of the religious whacko grandmother.

Once you have adopted him, of course, it's a nonissue.