Legal to keep mom away from son?

Question

My daughter decided to leave her husband and did so with her 3 yr. old son. They both decided to take some time to possibly get counseling, etc. Last week when my daughter took her son over to his dad's to see him and went to work when she went to pick up he said she can't see him unless she moves back in with him right away. Is this legal? My daughter is frantic and as a grandparent my heart is just broken. She has gone to the courthouse to fill out papers but they say that he has 30 days to respond. She does not want to wait this long to see her son! She lives in Oregon. Does anyone know anything about this kind of thing? Please, please help. Thank you so much

Answer 1

I know she's not been to court or made the split final which would include court papers that specify custody and placement.  But I have to tell you, I'd go to the police.  I wouldn't tell them much of anything for fear they'd say, "Wait for your court date..."  I'd just say something like that I feared for the safety of my son since his father hasn't let me see him to make sure he's okay and I'd ask for an escort to go pick him up...the dad would probably give him to her when he saw the police involvement and I'd never drop my son there again until after the court papers were filed with our ordered schedule.  Or she can wait, go incognito and follow her ex in someone else's car when he drops the child off where ever he's going to drop him when he has to go to work...and then I'd grab my child when he went out to play or whatever and that would be that.  I'm telling you...

By the way, the court is going to have a FIELD DAY with him...they do not look kindly on parents the prevent access for the other parent to see the child...it's called "alienation of affection."

Good luck...that just sounds heartbreaking! :(

Answer 2

Um, she should have called the police!  It's called kidnapping!

Answer 3

She needs to call the police and a lawyer. This is not legal - it's kidnapping. I can't believe the court didn't tell her this.

If it were me - I would call 911 and report him as kidnapped. This would involve the proper emergency depts. She needs to call a lawyer immediately too - right now!

Answer 4

Surely she knows some BIG guys!!!  Pretend to be moving back in - then the friends show up.....scare the p'jesus out of that jerk (don't hurt him though) and then go file for divorce.   I would have a restraining order placed on him immediately (before filing for divorce) and obviously.....no more daddy babysitting - ever!!    

Answer 5

no. it is not illegal at all. they have nothing legal between them right now concerning the child. the police also, will not get involved either, because it is considers a "civil" matter. if you don't beleive me call the local police department. i guarantee you i am right. my ex did the same exact thing.

i left, he didn't like it, i dropped my son so i could work that day, went to get him and he told me from the kitchen window that he will be staying full time with him unless i came home. i didn't see my son for 21 days and about lost my mind. i called the police to the house while this was occuring, we talked in my ex's driveway. the police basically told me it was a "civil" matter with no legal strings yet and there was nothing they could do. this is the same as if they were called to settle an argument where there was no abuse occuring-same thing. he actually told me that they wern't counselors.(not rudely)

what i suggest, and what the police suggested to me, was to immediately obtain an order of protection, against the ex. she will see the judge the day she files, because the law states the judge has to grant it for 21 days until an investigation can be made. 21 days and the ex and your daughter will go to court and tell the judge the case. the judge will either grant it or not. the best thing, even if he doesn't grant it, he can give joint custody right then for a period of 3 years.  i won my case, and was awarded custody of my son, and my ex got every other weekend. he had to bring him to the police station within 1 hour of the court session letting out.

the judge seen the reason that my ex was keeping the child from me because of his own personal needs, mental abuse. to me and the child. i had other things on there that helped, but he told my ex that. he told him you shouldn't give people ultimatums. i didn't hire a lawyer and my ex did, and i still won.

so to answer your question yes it is legal. it would be that same thing if she did it to him. im sorry!!! i have been through it and it is h**l. i also have answered another question just like this and told them the same thing.

it is not kidnapping by the way. it isn't kidnapping until one of them has legal custody papers to show the police that the child should be with one or the other at a certain time. example:: kidnapping would be if i had custody mon-friday and my ex had sat & sun. if i would try to pick him up on sunday and he said no, or wasn't there. that is kidnapping. otherwise, it is just as much his child as it is hers.

"mom to six" has it right also. the police told me on the side the same thing. i could pick the child up from school or whatever. i was basically out of my head at this time, causing a scene in the street. that is when he told me this.

Answer 6

Not only is this illegal, it's downright harmful to the child! Your daughter needs to get an attorney and get a court order pushed through to control her horrible husband RIGHT AWAY!

Answer 7

she should move back in with him, and while he's sleeping sneak out. oh and she should learn karate so that when she does leave she can kick his butt if he wakes up and tries to stop her.

tell her to watch ENOUGH.

Answer 8

In most cases, without a court order it's legal for him to do it. Just like it's legal for her to wait for them to be on the street or the park and take him back. And you can trust me, right or wrong, I'd be sitting in front of his house day and night until I had my child back. That's her legal right and her moral responsibility.

Definitely get a lawyer and get it handled so it doesn't happen again. Without a custody agreement/order he can do this any time he wants, just as she can. He doesn't look good doing it, though.

Answer 9

One time me and my son's father got into a fight and he said he wasnt going to let me pick up my son. So I called the police and they said that if his name is on the birth certificate and he signed the paternity papers then it's not considered kidnapping and there was nothing they could do.

Answer 10

She first needs to call the police.  Since she has custody of her son (or no orders of banning her custody) he cannot keep him from her.  Then, I would have her get a lawyer- a good one- who can push things through quickly and done the right way.  Do it now!  

Answer 11

No it isn't legal, in fact, it's downright ridiculous. There was no custody agreement in the divorce? Who has custody of this child? No parent can keep the other parent from seeing the child unless there is a court order or restraining order.  Tell her to go to the police. If she has primary custody, he has no choice but to hand the child over. If they have joint custody, it is a little more complicated, but he can not keep her from seeing the child unless he can prove to a judge that she is a danger to the child and get a restraining order against her.  And that could take days, if not weeks.  

Answer 12

Do any of you people live in Oregon. I am in Oregon and it is legal for him to keep the child from her. As long as there is no child custody agreement made. I know because I'm in the middle of getting custody of my daughter and I was told by my lawyer and my cop friend that if he decides to come and take her, even if he leaves the state, it is legal because as of right now we both have custody. You need to have her go to court right away and get a lawyer. He could keep her son until she has a judge rule otherwise. In Oregon you can go to the well fare office and they can get you free legal help if you can't afford it. There usually law students but they will help you.