Less desirable children for less desirable families?

Question

Is society more accepting of "less desirable families" adopting "less desirable (adoptable) children" rather than the "More desirable (adoptable) infants"?

Answer 1

Yikes Lara that is terrible!

That email sounds like it was written by a jerk and a bigot.

I don't think that is right at all.

Answer 2

Society may be "more accepting," but that doesn't make it right.   Incidentally, China has the same guidelines for people who wish to adopt special needs children as they do for their healthy infant program.....no singles, family must have a certain income and net worth, adoptive parents must be in good health, etc.   The only "waivers" China grants for their special needs program is that larger families may adopt special needs children, and older couples (up to 55 years of age) may adopt older children.

Answer 3

(Shaking head)

Sorry, FG.  It's hard to know what to say to such ignorance.

Answer 4

There are no "less desirable" children, for god's sake!

There are only less desirable (more selective) parents - ones who cannot love any child, instead being able to only love a child who shares their genetics or skin color.

And your son, while he may have special needs, is not less desirable, of course!

Answer 5

Some people are just disgusting with opinions aren't they? How blacks should be with blacks, or whites should be with whites...blah blah blah.

I, myself, can see past the color, or the "types".... so I would not be a person to say that the child should be with etc. so my point of view is based on "the getting quiet" part of your question. It could be possible that perhaps you have won their respect by wanting to care for a "less desirable" child. Handicapped or problematic or otherwise children take more work. That in itself deserves an applause.

Answer 6

Interesting question.  I hope not, as I am adopting three older children, and I don't consider them less than nor I less than.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, any child that is born with health problems can be more of a risk, and so many people won't take a child because of the risks, and the costs.

We had met the birth mom to our baby, and had decided that we had progressed with the pregnancy in a way similar to me being pregnant myself.  We decided that no matter what, that our son would be loved and cared for.  God and our birthmom blessed us with a perfectly healthy, beautiful little boy, but it was iffy at first, because birthmom had decided she didn't want to be pregnant anymore and took meth to force herself into labor.  Luckily, she had only done it once (according to her and the doctor, birthdad who lived with us also said that he had no clue).  Has your child already been placed?  We would love to adopt another child, providing the nearby medical facilities can handle whatever he has.  (We live in a rural part of Arkansas).  I've done a lot of health care as an aid, and we babysit my husbands' ex-wife's twins, who 1 has cerebryl palsy, and the other is extremely asthmatic, because of prematurity.  I'm diabetic, so I'm familiar with that.  My prayers are with you both, and I hope your lives improve.  Every baby deserves the best in life, whether adopted, natural, and the unborn.

Answer 8

tell tem people to mind there own business, if you  adopted the kid, its because you wanted, love and can provide,etc.......

Answer 9

Racial discrimination has made it's way into adoption as well?!?!?!

SICKENING! (the discrimination, not the adoptions)

Answer 10

That is horibbel for someone to say or even think for that matter

Answer 11

I have heard some caseworkers say out lould that some of the adoptive families being placed with some of the most difficult cases are "barely much better than where they came from"

The ASFA (Adoption and Safe Families Act) of 1996 was specifically created in order to help families that may not have otherwise been able to adopt-do so...For the sake of the 120,000 children waiting in foster care....

The goal was that some of the Adoption Assistance, low costs, Tax Credits and other supports would make it possible for families to adopt if they were not simply because the children do have significant issues and needs....

I do believe that Many people have jumped in to do Foster To Adopt simply because the changes in the program have made it possible for Foster Families to have newborn placements that eventually terminate for adoption--and then the family has rasied the baby since infancy and adopted...

On one side I hate this and see too many disappointed Foster Families or Those who work hard to prevent reunification...BUT on the other hand I also support the fact that a child with fewer changes of caregiver would have a lower risk of serious attachment issue....

I believe we do need to revisit the ASFA and find out what the unintended consequences have been of what would otherwise be some great changes in the system.