Let me know how this is? Written by me :)?

Question

Since the day we are born

We are one in the same

Nothing changes

Name to Name

Race to Race

Face to Face

We are one in the same.

Yet we accuse

we abuse

we kill

we lie

Day to day

But nothing will change.

Even if we are one in the same.

You have your ideals

I have mine.

Nothing to fight over.

We stand face to face

One in the same

You say no

I say why

Just because your ideals

Differ from mine.

From race to race

From name to name

We will stay one in the same.

War to war

Nothing changes

Just another name

Another face

Another race

Another name

Another brother

Another Sister

Another Mother

Another Father

Another Son

Another Daughter

Gone, because this wont change.

Death to death

We all end up the same.

Face to face

Race to Race

Name to name

We are one in the same.

Yet you dont stop.

You wont change.

Agree to change

and we wont end up the same.

Since the day we are born

We will be one in the same

Name to Name

Face to Face

Race to Race

We will be one in the same

If we dont change.....

Answer 1

i agree with digger, i mean it kind of  sounds like a rap song....nice though!!!

Answer 2

it would be a good song. if i ever use ill give 50% of the profits

Answer 3

This is really cool

Answer 4

i like this part.

Another face

Another race

Another name

Another brother

Another Sister

Another Mother

Another Father

Another Son

Another Daughter

Gone, because this wont change.

but i think putting mother&&brother next to each other would sound alot better..

Answer 5

A song would be where this could lead.  The refrain would be the sequence with "another"  If you want to keep in poem form, try to look at ways of restating the obvious, metaphors are a great tool.  Otherwise you words lose their effect.  What is not lost here is your emotion.  Keep at it.