Letting a girl be a little girl, or treating her 'too old'?

Question

I had an answer to my question. I asked about my 8 year old being VERY social and the other girls in her class not being that social and 'into friends' yet. I told my daughter that she is abit ahead. She needs deodorant. She is developing. And she is VERY social orientated. I told her that these are all things that teenagers will get into and so she is just abit ahead. But that the other girls will get there and when she is a teenager her friends will want to be as involved as she is.

I got one answer that said that it is terrible that I would tell my daugther that she is ahead and that I should let her be a little girl. I am wondering what other opinions are. Did I do wrong?

My daughter sometimes acts like 4 and sometimes 20. I just treat her like her. Like an individual and meet her where she is. I do not think she is a When we had this conversation she was open and communicating and so I answered honestly from my perspective. Did I do wrong?

Answer 1

You're doing fine.

Answer 2

I don't think you did wrong at all.  I believe our job as parents is to guide our children while still appreciating their individual qualities.  So many kids end up getting into trouble because of low self-esteem.  Open communication is key.  Encourage your child to try to appreciate being young and to "bend a little", participating in activities that other kids her age enjoy.  At the same time, praise her for her individual attributes and beliefs. Hopefully, she'll learn that she is valuable as a person, but so are others who may be different.

Answer 3

Every child develops socially and physically at different times.  This is one of the reasons I am so against school.  Everything needs to be on the same level at the same age, which just isn't true.  You need to let her be who she is (as long as she isn't developing into sexual experiences).  Making a child be someone who they are not is not good for them and will cause problems later on.  Some kids are more mature and it's hard for people to understand that.  This is actually a good thing and will help her later on it life.  And just a hint, no matter how old they are, they will still act 4 and sometimes 20.  You did not do wrong.

Answer 4

I don't think that its abnormal for your daughter to be social...especially in today's world...kids are just more mature than they used to be.  When I was 8 I was very social and talked on the phone w/ friends.  Sure I played outside and did kids things, but I liked to do teeny bopper things w/ my little 3rd grade friends.

Your daughter will probably act more mature than other if she's an only child.  She's pretty much emulating you, and how you interact with other people.  If you're not comfortable with the way she's acting then don't give her a lecture b/c she won't understand that just yet.  Instead encourage her by getting her into different activities like art classes, or gymnastics, etc.  That should take the focus off of her social butterfly ways. ;)

Answer 5

I don't think you went wrong. I think your explanation for why she is more social than her friends was honest and accurate. Some kids mature faster that others. I don't think you were pushing her to grow up - you were just explaining something! Your little girl is growing at her own pace and you're right - you need to treat her like an individual.