Letting your baby settle themselves???

Question

Yesterday I answered some questions regarding letting babies cry themselves to sleep....I can't believe the negative responses (thumbs down) that I recieved. I was not advocating letting a baby get distressed by not comforting them...in fact I stated that it really sux doing so. My point was that at some stage, the baby needs to be able to learn to calm themselves down for their own benefit as well as the mothers...& when I say "baby" I'm not referring to a newborn. So why all the negativity? I was only being helpful, I wasn't saying "Oh, just let them cry." I'm a realistic mum & after battling with a bub who would wake up as soon as I put him down or stopped patting him, I thought it was time to bite the bullet & let him learn to settle on his own. It wasn't fun by any means, but given time it worked out. I'm (obviously) offended. Maybe American Moms are different to Aussie Mum's....I don't know....

Answer 1

lol-I know how you feel. i'm an american mom and believe in letting them cry it out sometimes!!

i answered a question a little while ago about a mom who has a 4 week old that constantly cries when put to sleep. she stated that the baby only sleeps about 7-8 hours as opposed to the recommended 16-20 hours for that age.

I advised her to try and let her baby cry for up to 10 mins to see if she would wear herself out only AFTER checking to make sure she wasn't hungry,wet/dirty, in pain, or uncomfortable.

I got a TON of thumbs down for this and was appalled. it's not like I was telling her to ignore her for hours!! just a few mins. to me, it sounded like the baby had worn herself out to the point of crying out of frustration. I advised her that after those few mins if the baby was still crying to pick her up and try rocking her to sleep or giving her some warm formula or a breastfeeding.

I have 3 girls and my middle child (now 7) had horrible colic until she was 3 months old. I tried everything to soothe her but often had to let her cry it out and she'd eventually fall asleep, sleeping through the night (this was at the 2 month old stage). it was SO hard to listen to but it was my only option as the others had failed. she outgrew the colic and has grown up just fine.

Answer 2

i say, every baby is different - whatever works for you and bub do it! My baby used to sleep with a blanket over his head - the only way he would sleep and I get a HEAP of thumbs downs for that. I understand why, but i say until you are in my position and have to deal with MY baby, you dont know what your talking about.

There are so many mothers on here that love a chance to just be bitchy - it is easy because no one knows who you are.

I say stuff em :) !! You do what you need to do and dont stress about it...

If he sleeps after a cry well atleast when he wakes you will be there with open arms!

If he has a dummy - well attleast now they make them to prevent buck teeth.

If He eats your magazine - well atleast that half price special will come back to you with a little extra in his nappy...

Answer 3

I didn't see your original question, not sure if you are still looking for ways to get baby to settle himself?

We made the mistake of 'accidental parenting' in the first 4 weeks with my son - we held him and rocked him until he was sound asleep every time.  Then when he got a bit heavier and it was harder to do, he wouldn't sleep any other way. Why would he want to!? LOL.   We are little by little teaching him to settle himself and it is working.  When we know he is tired, he gets a couple of minutes of a cuddle until his eyes start to drop. As soon as that happens, he gets swaddled and put in his cot/crib.   I rub his arm, shoulder, tummy, etc.  His eyes fly wide open -- but what I didn't know is that it takes a baby 3 to 5 times of this (eyes wide open) to fall asleep. (I read that somewhere) and it seems to be true.  I DON'T pick him up again unless he cries. Just gently rub him until he is finally asleep.  If he cries, I pick him up and comfort him only until he stops crying. As soon as he stops, he's back down in his bed.  It's been working and it seems each few days we need to spend less and less time in there with him, as he is learning to settle himself if he wakes in the night.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I agree with you 100%!! My child wanted to rock to sleep everynight or else. One night I just could not take it anymore and we both cried till she was asleep and after that things went fine. She was 9 months old the first time it happened. Just think rocking a baby to sleep for that long! I thought I was a bad mother if I let her cry. But we both got over it and were happier in the end!!  

Answer 5

i agree with you very much, they need to learn as later on there going to rely on u so much that the mother will probably start ripping her hair out ! i actually know someone who always picked up her daugher as soon as she cryed, shes now 4.. the mother cant go to the toilet without her hanging of her leg.... you have to do these things...

aussie mum here to an 8 day old !!

Answer 6

No negativity from me, I hear ya! My little guy would not go to sleep without being rocked... and let me tell you it was NOT a good thing for me! I need my sleep too! But I did the cry it out method and my son had it down by the 3rd night, now we are all much better off and well rested!

Answer 7

Yes, I agree with you. People tend to jump on the band wagon and take things whay out of proportion. I pick my daughter up whenever she cries but if she is just restless or whiney then I will leave her to re-settle. She doesn't go to sleep by herself because I think she is a little too young yet (we have tried but without success) but when she is a little older we will try again. I won't leave her crying though.