Life's a B*tch & then u plumit!?

Question

When ur man leaves u

For some1 worse than u

When a big party's happenin

But u have nothin new

Life's a B*TCH

When u study for a test

But u fail anyway

When ur worst enemy just

Spoils ur whole day

Life's a B*TCH

When ur bestfriend bad mouths u

Behind ur back

And tells all ur secrets to

Tom, d**k & Jack

Life's a B*TCH

When ur man leaves u

For HIS best friend

Cause he says he's gettin somethin

From the other end

Life's a B*TCH

When they tell u that u're ugly

And u know it's true

But only this person's

More ugly than u

Life's a B*TCH

But don't study it honey

stay on the right track

And anything they do you

Just do them back

An eye for an eye

And a tooth for a tooth

A shoe is a shoe and a Boot is a boot

Walk in the dance with your last year clothes

Call to the crowd and strike up a pose

People might say

"ain't that her last years' outfit?"

But if it don't bother you then don't study it

You can't please everyone

Most people will say,

But if it pleases you

Then get on with your day!

Answer 1

Unfortunately there are those who critique while having a commonly found sweeping implement firmly embedded in one of the body's lower orifices. Don't plummet, and don't prune it either. These are the lyrics to a song. Logic must take a backseat to the driving  musicality and to the emotions. This is buc, u dun gud!

Answer 2

I actually liked this quite a bit. I don't like how often you repeated that phrase, and I think you could even give this a different theme... instead of "life being a *****" maybe you could make it more about being empowered and rising above what others think of you? At least, that's the vibe I got. But I do like your rhyming, and the flow. Usually I hate rhyming poems, so good job.

edit

hahaha I THOUGHT those might be song lyrics. My friend and I once found a piece of notebook paper with something about "slob on my k**b like corn on the cob" and cracked up because we thought someone was writing erotic poetry..... but it was just a rap song.

Sigh.... what are we teaching children with lyrics like that? Are we giving them any hope? It's one thing to have that as a poem, an individuals point of view, but another thing completely to have it broadcast on the airwaves as what listeners should accept and expect.

Life's only a ***** if you make it that way.

Answer 3

I liked it , but think you should not abbreviate your words, but yes did like it especially this part!

Walk in the dance with your last year clothes

Call to the crowd and strike up a pose

People might say

"ain't that her last years' outfit?"

But if it don't bother you then don't study it

You can't please everyone

Most people will say,

But if it pleases you

Then get on with your day!

Now I shall get on with my day, or should I say evening !!!  Cheers!!

Answer 4

Unimaginative, badly written and subjegated, non-emtion and false flow, very hard to read, take another shot at it, use more concise wording.