Life changing decision. Confused as heck!?

Question

My boyfriend of almost 2 years and I are 9 weeks pregant. He just finished his first year in University and I'm about to start my last year (after that teachers college). This was unexpected. WE planned to move in together after the summer before we knew. We both are hardworking and our families are financially well off. I am confused as to tthe hardships and sacrifices a child will bring. anyone in this position?? Any advice?? We're both 23 and love eachother very very much. I just don't think I'm ready for a lifestyle change, and he just started doing so well in school! HELP HELP HELP

Answer 1

You don't think you're ready for the lifestyle changes?  Well honey, wake up and smell the decaf coffee, because your life will change very quickly.  If you weren't ready you should have considered the consequences of your actions (and I know you know how you got pregnant, so I won't go into the actions part).  

My wife and I had just gotten married when we found out that she was pregnant.  I was not ready for it and I thought I was going to have problems with my lifestyle changes.  Well honestly I have to say that it was the most wonderful thing that could have ever happened to me.  Yesterday my daughter graduated High School, has been accepted to a major university near home, and is the most joyous person I know.

Having a child will change your life, in a positive way.  Take life as it comes to you and make the most of the opportunities given.  Continue in school, earn your degree(s) and live a full life with your HUSBAND and CHILD at your side.  Sometimes life hands you lemons...make lemonade!

Answer 2

By the very fact you cared enough to post this means you are a relatively conscientious and caring person. Therefore, I will answer this question with that assumption in mind.

I would not deny that you are significantly unprepared for this type of lifestyle change.  I suspect it will be a dramatic departure from what you are used to and you will find it overwhelming most of the time.

However, if you go through with having this child, the good news is no matter how hard it gets, and it will be very hard at times, you can take heart in the certainty that you will never regret this decision. Regardless of what happens with school, or your social life, or even your relationship with the father, you will love that child more than yourself. One day you will look back mystified as to why you did so much soul searching, wondering why you even considered not taking this journey as it was laid out to you.

There is so little in life that you can count on. Believe it or not, this is one of those things, just ask your parents.

Answer 3

i had my first child at 22 and felt the same way. Once you see your babies face all the worries dissapear. YES it is hard, but so worth it. I had my second at 24, felt the same worries. I am now 31 just had my third and felt scared and worried during that pregnancy also. Its just the unknown that scares us. I dont think anyone is ever really ready but no one would change it for the world. good luck.

Answer 4

You can both do it, my girlfriend was 22 and i was 23 when she got pregnant, we had our son and worked hard together, we both had not too good families, no money, no financial security but we went ahead i was 2 year Btec and she was going to go into University. In the end we shifted things around a little. Now, i completed the Btec and degree and a Masters, she has done 2 degrees and four A levels, he is 15 and is in Grammar school. It can work, you just have to want it to work. I wont say it was easy, but you have financial security so it should be 70% easier than for us, i worked 8pm til 3am in a night club and went to Uni at 8am, and during the summer i had to work all the time.

If you really want the child it can work. I wouldn't change a thing, i have a wonderful wife of 15 years and a 15 year old son.

Answer 5

what do YOU want to do? first thing that comes to mind?

Answer 6

Please whatever you do don't have an abortion, this child did not choose to come into this world, you and your boyfriend choose to create this child. If you decide you don't want to keep this precious blessing please give it up for adoption. There are lots of women who would love to be pregnant and have tried many years! Once you give birth to this child and see his or her face and hold this baby I'm sure you will not be able to give it up! Every sacrifice you will have to make will be worth it 110%. Best wishes !

Answer 7

I have said before, that noone is ever prepared for the life a little one brings you. You ask about hardships, but now that i have 4 kids, all I can remember is the good things. Yes, there are some crazy things you have to deal with, but when they get old enough to thank you, you will see why I am so happy. Oh, and congrats!!!

Answer 8

I take it that your life changing decision is either to keep the baby, kill the baby or give it up for adoption.

Since your parents are so well off, I am sure they can hire someone to raise the baby while you both do your hard work so there is no hardship for you and you can visit the baby whenever you have time.

Because not being ready for a lifestyle change is a really good reason to have someone else raise your child somewhere else.

Answer 9

If you're not ready now, you better prepare to be ready in 8 months.  It's going to be hard for you two, but a lot of people have gone through this.  You will survive.

Answer 10

Don't worry , You will become ready to make a the leap into the unknown and you will come smelling like roses, just have faith in yourself ..and you will be a great mommy

Answer 11

Babies are life changing no matter when the arrive and if they are planned or not.  The thing is you made an adult decision to have s*x and I am sure you knew this could happen.  Now it is time to face the consequence of your actions.  A baby brings a lot of work but it is also one of the most amazing jobs a person can have.  You are at a point in your life when you could make it work you and your boyfriend could make this right.  I would recommend talking to your families and go from there.  Although it will be tough there is no reason why you can not make this unplanned bump in road one of the most amazing times of your life.  Best of luck!

Answer 12

I will give you insight on bringing a child into the world by suprise. My first child was unexpected... I was in the delivery room and I cut the cord. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart. You don't know what love is, until you see your own child. From the first breath it changed my life. For you to understand what I mean you have to know a bit about me... I am a take it as it comes kind of guy...I'm not religopus at all and I am pro choice. So don't think I'm standing on a soap box or anything. My experience is so powerful...it changed my life forever. It didn't necessarily turn things upside down. One doctor gave me the best advice about bringing a bay into the home. He said remember...he is coming into your world. If you let him take over...you will be miserable. You have to find a balance. My wife and I went on with our careers and raised 2 beautiful kids...they are 10 and 7 right now. They made our life more like a roller coaster.... I like roller coasters. If you have family support and your boyfriend is truly there for you...you won't have a problem. Embrace it... don't let it consume you. When you see your baby for the first time... you will know what I mean...it's one tremendous feeling of love...a whole new level that everyone should experience...