Like all the others, a poem I wrote..?

Question

Starlight, the night's bed light

Whom holds a thousand lover's dream

Your cousins dumbfound us

Streaking their manes through the foreign sky

Flying free

Till they pass us by

Gravity snatches the non-citizens

and molds them to our home

Teaching us to remember this:

Hold tight to the constants

wish on these,

They will stay in the sky

Through your life's breeze

Comments?

Answer 1

I think it's good enough. You probably don't need to change anything. Keep it up :-)

Answer 2

Just me

This is very cute

I like how you describe the stars as

nights bed light.  That holds a thousand love dreams.

I see romance in this part.  

it also serves as a lesson because it teaches you

to remember.

Stars Poem:

I look up at the sky at night

as they are shimmering.

the stars also dance

Stars can form a constellation

and often do.

Its a pity they don't stay out during the day

they go to the other side of the world

But it has to be night for the stars

Answer 3

That's pretty good. I think you need to add more to it, but I think it might be a wonderful poem!

But I think you need to use more simple words, not for like dumb people, but because it sounds kinda too business like, if you know what I mean?

But great job though!

I'll give you a 7 & a half, out of 10.

Keep writing!

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