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A true story, believe it or not! :)

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.

I screamed and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

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  1. HAHA Well heres the thing. That is not the first time I have ran accross this kinda expierement. Its nice to see there are more than a few of us out there who thought that its was a good idea. Later to find out. It wernt.

    I saw my dad rope a deer. He got a horse in for training for a hunting horse. Not a hunter/jumper. A real shoot a deer of its back hunting horse. How do you do this you may ask? You go hunting a lot, too bad for us right. Well he finished the horse and it was ready for the owner to pick it up. We took him out and was showing him how to hunt off the horse(little things like not firing between the ears of the horse). Well we where up in the Ruby's and we came accross a herd of deer. The owner asked how close we could get to a deer on horse back. Well only one way to find out. We edged up with in 50 yard of the herd with no problem. Then the owner asked if it was possible to rope a deer. To witch my pops replies ''Dunno, but there is only one way to find out.'' So my dad takes off and singles one out(the horse had been roped off of a few time). And off they went down the side of the mountian. That is when he noticed he was with in an easy cast to catch the buck(not one of his brightest ideas).

    He shook out a loop and tossed it and caught the buck by both antlers. Then the buck turned. After about 2 min of a fight where the deer was over under and everwhere at the horse trying to fight back the antlers rubbed through my dads good 40' rope. It was quite cartoonish at the end. The rope tangled all over the horse and my dad still holding about 3 feet of it in his hand and the buck bounding away safe and sound. Luckly the horse never got hurt but was a bit sweaty form trying to survive the attack. The owner was so happy about out training, we wound up training 4 other hunting horse for him and his friends.

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  2. That was funny!!!  Thanks!

    Quite a few years ago I had a friend who found a dead doe in the road & while she was moving it to the side of the road she noticed the bag was full & felt bad for the little fawn where ever it was.  The next day, her boyfriend pulled into the driveway with the spotted fawn in his lap.  Said he found it laying beside the dead mom.  Well, she named him Eddy, fed with with her bummer lambs & he was allowed in the house, where he enjoyed sleeping on their water bed.

    After a month he would stay gone most of the day, but when you called him he came running, just like a dog.  He would have his bottle & lay on the livingroom floor & have a nap.

    After the first year Eddy just stopped coming around.  Figured they had done their part in helping him survive & then he did what was natural.  He was still a wild animal even though he slept in the house & was raised on a bottle.

    But he started to get more "male" also.  Rearing up & striking at the sheep, dogs & people, so it was best he just took off.

  3. lol that's a funny story! i would have never known that a deer was more powerful and evil than a horse or a cow lol

  4. Yeah, I read that earlier today! That should be made into a kids' book! It's hilarious! :)

  5. wow thats cool but diferent

  6. Years ago, in Outdoor Life mag, one of their writers had a similar style.  Gut busting DRY humor, dead pan.

    Of course, I can't recall the name now...

    This is as good.   < G B G >   ( great big grin)   Thanx !

  7. I coulda swore I just read that story..Lol... Funny!!!

  8. Wow! That's awesome! I think I have read this once before though! Thanks for sharing!

  9. That is great - I have seen it before ( couple of months or so ago in an answer but I can't remember what the question was who who told the story.) It had me in stitches and I had to read it out for my husband and all the kids. We were in hysterics.

    Well posted.

  10. Funny, funny, and omg...so funny!!!

  11. That's really funny.  I don't know as though I could keep a deer to eat though, I think I would get attached.  Doesn't sound like he wanted to be dinner though!

  12. I read this a few months ago through an email I received.  Don't remember from who.  But the great stuff will always make the rounds...and this definitely qualifies!  Makes me about pee my pants everytime I read it!

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