Limerick Limerick, Do you like/have you got any more?

Question

There once was a mouse called Keith

who circumcised boys with his teeth

it wasn't for lesiure

or sexual pleasure

but to get to the cheese underneath.....

Answer 1

There was a Bishop of Birmingham,

who buggered 3 maids while confirming 'em.

Whilst invoking God, he exited his rod,

and pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em

There was a young girl from Aberystwyth.

who bought meal to the mill to get grist with.

The millers son Jack laid her flat on her back,

and united the parts that they pissed with.

Answer 2

There was a young lady from Horton,

Had a long t*t and a short’n,

To make up this loss,

She had an a r s e  like a ‘hoss,

And a f**t like a 650 Norton.

**********

There was a young girl from Madras,

Lay down on her back in the grass,

With fingers so slim,

She tittled her quim,

‘Till it foamed like a bottle of Bass.

**********

There was a young tart from Southend,

Who tried L*****n s*x with her friend;

With a moan and a grunt,

She licked her mates *****;

And loved the experience no end.

**********

There was a young woman from Ealing

Who had a peculiar feeling

She laid on her back

Opened her crack

And p.issed all over the ceiling

**********

There was a young Lady called tart

Who felt that she needed a f**t

She stepped right outside

And to her surprise

Blew over a horse and a cart

**********

There once was a man lived in Kent

Whose d**k was so long that it bent

To save himself trouble

He stuck it in double

But instead of just coming, he went

**********

There once was a man from Bombay

Who fashioned a ***** outta clay

The heat from his p.rick

Turned it to brick

And scraped all his f******n away

**********

There was a young woman from Crewe

Who said as the Bishop withdrew

The Vicar is slicker

and quicker and thicker

and 12 inches longer than you

**********

There was a fishmonger called Babs,

Who sold cod, skate, place and dabs;

But she had s*x with me,

And caught my VD;

And now she's a purveyor of crabs.

**********

There once was a man from Nantucket

With a d.ick so long he could suck it

He said with a grin

As he licked off his chin

"If my ear was a ***** i would ***** it"

**********

A young w***e who came from Lahore

Would lie on a rug on the floor.

In a manner uncanny

She'd wiggle her f.anny

And drain your balls dry to the core.

**********

There was a young girl from Penzance

Who got on the ferry to France

Everyone fuckt 'er

Except the conductor

But the driver came twice in his pants.

**********

There was an old girl from Kilkenny,

Whose usual charge was a penny.

But for half of that sum

You could roger her bum

A source of amusement for many.

**********

A s**y young maiden named Jill

tried a dynamite stick for a thrill

they found her v****a

in North Carolina

and bits of her t.its in Brazil

**********

THERE was a young man from Cape Horn

who wished he had never been born

He wouldn’t have been

If his father had seen

That the end of his condom was torn!

**********

There Once Was A Girl From Shrilanka

Whose ***** Was As Big As A Tanker

You Could Go For A Swim

In The Depths Of Her Q.uim

And You Needed A Lamppost To W.ank Her

**********

Old Mother Hubbard

went to the cupboard

to get her dog, Rover, a bone.

When she bent over, young Rover took over

and gave her a bone of his own...

**********

Ginger was feeling quite gruff

Till he placed his head in her muff

Then she purred like a kitty

When his tongue hit her c.litty

Saying, "I just can't get enough!"

**********

An accident really uncanny,

Befell an unfortunate granny.

She sat down in a chair

While her false teeth were there,

And bit herself right in the f.anny!

**********

We all know that tampons are spongy

And often times get rather grungy

But why they have strings

Among other things

Is so that the crabs can all bungee.

**********

Goldilocks has had lots of guys

Pinnochio's one, I'm advised!

She sits on the puppet

And sticks his nose up it

And makes the poor fellow tell lies!

**********

There was a young lady named Claire

Who possessed a magnificent pair;

Or that's what I thought

'Til I saw one get caught

On a nail, and begin to lose air.

**********

There was a man from Ka-bot

That lived on his boogers and snot

When he couldn't have these

He lived on the cheese,

That grew on his grungy old c.ock!

**********

There was a young man of Devises,

Whose balls were of different sizes.

His tool when at ease,

Hung down to his knees,

Oh, what must it be when it rises!

And there's more

Answer 3

nice and neat!!!

Answer 4

lmao  ......well done ....

Answer 5

LMAO! you didn`t think of that by yourself did you?

Answer 6

LMAO

There was a wee woman from eling,

who had a perculiar feeling

she lay on her back

and opened her crac

and pissed all over the ceiling

Answer 7

um that's not really funny, but nice job with the rhyming!  

Answer 8

leisure and pleasure dont rhyme unless you pronounce one of them wrong