Lions and tigers and bears, oh,my! CAn you write a funny ZOO story that includes as many of thes lines as....?

Question

possible?

This is just for the pure fun of being creative.

Do you know what these phrases have in common?

1. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems

2. Off The Ground

3. It Just Comes Natural

4. Does Fort Worth Ever Cross Your Mind

5. No Fences

6. Heaven, Heartache, and the Power of Love

7. Garden Party

8. Beautiful Noise

9. A Fistful of Fuzz

10. No Security

11. Velvet Gloves and Spit

12. Stranger Than Fiction

Answer 1

Gloria and Robert were off to the Zoo to attend the Garden Party of their nephew, George. As George was only 3 Robert decided that a no shoes, no shirt, no problems policy was ok..... If there was security at the zoo they would have disagreed but for some obscure reason there was no security... indeed the zoo was very strange there were no fences either.

As Gloria was naturally afraid of the roaming zoo animals she thought it was best to sit off the ground, she was very, very confused. Gloria sat on a platform and listened to the beautiful noise of monkeys playing with their own faeces.

"Why are there no fences?" Gloria asked.

At this moment a young gentleman yelled "Does fort worth ever cross your mind? What kind of person are you. Animals shouldn't be locked up! Roaming free is right, it just comes natural to them"

This man clearly had a fistful of fuzz and a brain void of any deep understanding. Gloria stood up tall and strong gently and very lady like she took off her velvet gloves and spit out her chewing gum.

"What is wrong with you? Do you think it is safe for the animals to be out? DO you honestly think it is better for these animals to be roaming around with one another DO YOU THINK ITS SAFE THAT THERE ARE NO FENCES BETWEEN US AND THEM?"

This was a surreal experience, it was stranger than fiction. That day was full of heaven, heartache and the Power of love. Heaven and Heartache because poor George was eaten by a roaming lioness. The power of love because the Lioness was kind enough to allow other zoo animals to partake in the eating of poor george.

Moral of the story: Zoo's need fences, don't be a r****d and take the fences away if you haven't thought about the consequences. Think of the children.

As for the common part of these lines.... um... are they all stories?

-I have alot of fun doing these. Off to bed, work tomorrow.

Answer 2

Fact is many times STRANGER THAN FICTION.  Our GARDEN PARTY decided to take a tour of Safari Land.  DOES FORT WORTH EVER CROSS YOUR MIND?  Well, that's where Safari Land is, Fort Worth, Texas.  There are NO FENCES other than the outer fence around the perimeter and of course, the fence dividing the meat eaters from the plant eaters.  As you enter you see a sign, "Please stay in your car with your windows rolled up as you drive through.  There are NO SECURITY guards so you are on your honor to obey the rules"

Two SUVs of the Ladies Garden Club set out to see nature and be as one with it.  They ohhhhh'd and ahhhhhh'd at the grazing animals and commented on the grace of the gazelle.

Our vehicles soon came to another sign, NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO PROBLEMS.  Someone had penciled, "Less trash for the meat eaters to digest"  under it.  I guess IT JUST COMES NATURAL for some people to put their two cents worth in whether it's needed or not.

When we came to the huge aviary, we were allowed to park our cars and walk through.  At the gate there was, you guessed it, another sign. "This aviary was built with the help of HEAVEN, HEARTACHE, AND THE POWER OF LOVE.  As you stroll through, please keep to the paved walkway and OFF THE GROUND."

Just inside the gate was another sign with an arrow pointing to a brightly painted box.  "Please feel free to take some nesting material to scatter about for our feathered friends to gather."  I took A FISTFUL FUZZ mixed with some string  and bright ribbon.  As I was enjoying the BEAUTIFUL NOISE  of the multi-colored birds I placed my nesting offerings on low branches in easy view and came across yet another sign.  "Please be kind and treat this aviary with VELVET GLOVES AND SPIT your gum in the proper recepticle and not on the walkway to be steped on by the person after you."

(Not one of my best but I am bone tired and brain dead right now)