Literal desperate housewife, in need of advice

Question

I am a housewife have been for about three years now, ever since I got married. My husband made me quit my job and does not want me to work. Now my life consists of washing dishes, washing clothes, watching kids and catering to him and who ever he decides to drag in. I am extremely anxious all the time. I am admittedly jealous of his freedom and ability to go and do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I am going crazy sitting home with a two year old day in and day out. The only time I get out is to go grocery shopping. Help me, I need advice on how to talk to him. Everything I have tried has failed. I tell him I want to work but he doesn't want to pay childcare. I try to get him to take me out he is too busy. WHAT CAN I DO?

Answer 1

Im sorry, it sounds like u have a really S****y husband No offense. I dont think i have good advice..cuz Id be angry. I personally would tell him.."You're sitting the kids tonight..Im going out with the girls to a movie!" even if u just go yourself. To show how important your freedom is and that he cant hold you back and needs to compromise. Maybe even get a job, maybe P/t and tell him deal with it! You can use some of your income to pay child care if hes gonna be such a d*ck! But these things could also turn out bad and cause turbulance between you two, but I am just the person who doesnt get stepped all over. Try everything.  Id end up telling him how much it is affecting your happiness and making your marriage s**+&ty! Im sorry but my husband is nothing like this! No one deserves to be so unhappy.  

Answer 2

go out, join a church or some other type of group and go out. even just go for a walk with you child.  meet another mom in the area and trade "days off" no one should be kept in all the time it isn't right.

Answer 3

Ok..well a couple things come into play with this. I'm not sure of the relationship you have with your husband.

1. leaving him out for the moment. Take the baby to the library for reading groups. Check your area for events. You will be surprised how many moms will be just like you. So now you are out interacting with adults. I realize you still have the baby but... give it time you can form lasting friendships and it sounds like you really could use that ! Hey and maybe a babysitter for a couple hours..

Leading right into # 2 take a little money out for childcare for you to visit a friend or go shopping..just have two hours away. Ask people Church, library.. for references for a sitter for a couple hours

#3. Let your husband Know.. this is not what you signed up for and he is taking advantage of the agreement you both made for you to stay home. He is not RESPECTing you and this won't work anymore.

So to be sure you don't need to pay for child care you are going to pick up a weekend job (at a grocerery store) only working like 10hr and he can take care of his baby. Great bonding time. Also..pays for a bill in the house.  

WIN WIN

You can't be a victim. You have choices unless he has really taken them away. It sounds like you just need to stand up and brush yourself off and find you again !!!!!

Good luck

~peace

Answer 4

uhhh... that sounds abusive to me.

You should take your two year old to the park, on walks, etc. Find other moms in your situation and talk to them on the phone or something. Good luck!  

Answer 5

Most women would be glad to be in your situation.  You taking care of your child is a lot better then some stranger.  Go to mom groups, go to parks, browsing in the mall.  Also your'e husband should take you out and spend time with you.  It may be a question of money but do something that won't cost a lot.  

Answer 6

Ok, I'm a housewife as well. And my hubby and I want another kid but the downside was child care..

I decided not to be bored... I got a job.. get this.. Driving a school bus. Its for 4 hours day and 99 percent of the companies will let you take you child on the bus with you. It gives me a break away from the house and allows me to see daylight again.

Also you should go to nearby parks there are alot of stay at home moms out there that you can talk to..

"

AND if you want to get even.. Once you meet some moms.. Have a mommy and child NIGHT. Hint hint.. Instead of your hubby draggin his buddies in.. Bring your ladies home. Have a child game night or something. Let him see how it feels to have the opposite side played on him. Let him see how it feels when you stand by while his "buddies" are around.. He'll get bored.. Then maybe you can try talking to him again.

But really if he is so against you working.. because of child care.. A bus driver or van driver for a school is perfect.. You get some extra spending cash and a break away from home.. PLUS no child care expenses.

If he is to busy to take you out. Do it alone.. When you know he is coming home.. Go to the park.. Let him cook his own dinner!!!!.

BUT please remember this can also go bad. He could get mad this could be his way of controlling you and if you revoke control it could go bad...If he ever hits you.. Please Leave.. Dont let it continue.

Good Luck....!

:)

Answer 7

You don't need help, he does.  Time to kick him to the curb.  Honestly, I see a huge potential for violence against you.