Little brother wakes me up in the night and is scared?

Question

I am a 13 year old boy and my bro is 5. Our parents tell him to go to the toilet before sleeping and 50 percent of the time he does. We live in a small apartment and share a room. At night time i just hang out on my ps3 and play online games etc and he plays his ps2. When he gets tired he turns his off and sits next to me or on my lap, this is when he is getting tired.

Some times he moves around a bit and shows signs of needing to pee and I tell him to go but he then says he doesn't need to.

Eventually he falls asleep on my lap usually and i just leave him there while i play my ps3. When I go to sleep (usually pretty late everyones asleep) I wake him up and tell him to go to the toilet.

If he says he wants to go he wants me to take him and stay with him because he is scared. Is this OK or what should I do? If he doesn't go he might wet the bed then I help him change or he will wake up during the night and wants me to take him to the toilet. He doesn't want his mum to take him though?

Answer 1

At his age being afraid to go to the toilet alone in the middle of the night is really common. There might be a toilet monster after all. At 5, he's most likely aware that boys and girls are 'somehow' different. He might be shy to do his business in front of his mother.

There are a couple of things you can do to help him get up his courage though. The first is nightlights. One in your room, one in the hall, and one in the bathroom. The ones that automatically turn off when the lights come on are good for this. The second is to try to build his courage yourself. Do things like offering to wait in the hallway and watch instead of actually going into the bathroom with him and really praise him and tell him how proud you are when he does go to the bathroom on his own.

You are an awesome big brother. Many guys your age wouldn't be so nice to their little brothers as to accompany them to the bathroom or help them change soiled sheets. He's lucky to have you.

Answer 2

I think it is so great to see you being such a good big brother.

And yes, it's okay for you to stay with him while he goes to the bathroom. He's just afraid of the dark.

Answer 3

He might not want Mum to take him because he feels more comfortable with a same-gendered person.  It's actually pretty good for him to see how men use the bathroom properly.  There are all sorts of tiny little quirks involved that I'm not aware of for boys, so I had my child's PawPaw take him every chance he could.  That may be one thing.

Even if he says he doesn't need to go, you need to stop the game and take him anyway.  Even if you say, "You're squirming, you are going to try your hardest to go to the bathroom."  He may fight/argue at first but I would say it one more time, wait him out (stand there pointing to the door, holding his hand) and then just take him.  He'll eventually get into the habit of just going when you ask him too.  

It's OK to take him to the toilet - it's OK for him to be scared.  It's possible that it's the dark that's scaring him (is there a hall light or a night light?), or he might just want some company.  It doesn't take that long to go to the bathroom, so it's not really going to take anything away from you to just go with him.  If he goes before he goes to sleep, he's less likely to get up in the middle of the night/wet the bed.

Maybe you could turn off your game earlier?  Maybe all the stimulus of you and him playing is keeping him awake a little too long, esp if he's falling asleep in your lap.

Good luck!

PS - Yes, I did forget to say what an awesome big brother you are!