Logical consequences for lying?

Question

My daughter (age 9) told a lie to the babysitter today. She got herself a piece of cake and then told the babysitter that it was a piece from last night that she hadn't finished. I'm not even sure why she would lie or even why she just didn't wait an hour until I got home to ask me for a piece. Anyways, I'm not sure what her punishment should be. I am a big fan of logical consequences, but I am horrible of thinking of them lol. Any ideas? And please, don't suggest washing her mouth out with soap etc. I want something that teaches her that lying only gets you into worse trouble than the original offense.

Answer 1

Make another cake...after dinner cut everyone a slice but her.  She gets no cake because she lied.

Clearly she likes cake...so cake deprivation might hit a nerve.

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I almost said that too...but it's not because she had hers already...it's because she lied.  

So the next day after she's over the heartbreak of missing cake the day before, you can give her a peice of cake and tell her honest girls get cake.  lol

Answer 2

Clearly, she has lost your trust and the trust of the babysitter.  

That's the natural consequence of the lie.  

Because you don't trust her, now, she will have to earn your trust back.  The first thing to do is to apologize & admit that she was wrong to show disrespect to the people that she lied to.  

That might be enough for a first offense.  Especially if you know she understands how her lie affected the other person's feelings towards her -and- how it affected how the other person thought that *she* felt about them (that they were not worthy of the truth from her or that they were stupid enough to trick with a lie).  

If this isn't a first offense, then she's really pushed herself into 'untrustworthy' territory (explain what that word means to her).  And, will now have to be supervised more closely (i.e. stay in the same room with a responsible adult, no matter how boring that might be) until you feel you can trust her again.

Answer 3

Good question, I've been thinking about it all day.  

     The logical consequence for lying is lost of trust, but how in the world do you quickly impress upon a nine year old that she has lost your trust?  I say firmly, "it was wrong to lie, it makes it harder for me to trust you" and that is SEEMINGLY the end of it.  I am not magical and can't perfectly enforce the rule of no lying in my house and I hate to be inconsistent, so this is what I really do about lying.  

     At my first opportunity, I read/discuss a story (usually scriptural) that illustrates why honesty is a virtue.  I am not preachy, my kids love this just like a bedtime story and I don't read the story to judge or condemn them, it is just a fun time to spend talking with mommy.  I pick stories I know they will relate to and want to emulate.  Often my kids report back in the next few days on an opportunity they had to be honest, because I encourage them to.  You could spend some time finding good stories in the scriptures or from your own life to share that would illustrate for your daughter the importance of truth-telling.  Punishments won't MAKE a child be honest, and punishing them for lying can inadvertantly teach them to work on telling better lies.  Try to emphasize the value that honesty has had for you in your life, tell stories on honesty from grandparents, aunts, uncles, admired friends, scriptures, etc.  I spend a little bit of time every single day discussing morals and values (scripture study or family meals).  In matters of integrity and honesty, a child will choose for themselves, but you as a parent can be using all your creativity and energy to find ways to teach the correct principles.  Teach her the morals that are important to you and when it counts hopefully your daughter will tell the truth.

Answer 4

Make another cake for dessert (seemingly spontaneously) and then do not allow her to have a piece.  Explain that she already had her piece.