Loneliness: is it me, the circumstances, or a combination?

Question

I am a 49 year old single man. Well educated and, by most standards, a successful business owner. I had a lot of serious problems in the past including a serious suicide attempt. I was diagnosed with chronic bipolar disorder.

In the town I work in I am pretty well known and have a good reputation.

People genuinely like me. However, after about 3 years of online dating I am still girlfriendless. The loneliness I've felt all my life will not go away. I don't understand why everyone else finds love and happiness but I have to go without.

Thank you

Answer 1

Please google a short piece called Desiderata. I think it answers quite a few of the issues you have raised. If you could focus on developing strengths - positives. Don't even think about weaknesses - let all that go and become history for you. If you can do this, you can develop confidence, self-sufficiency, independence and an inner strength - all of which will shine from you as a person. These qualities are like magnets to the ladies! Try to find some new interests which in turn will bring new friends. I hope you find something in here to help you.

Best wishes and kind regards. UK

Answer 2

Loneliness is the state where we miss the other person while being closed in our minds feeling unhappy.

Aloneness is the state where we enjoy our being and feel happy anyway.

I am not against relationships, but don't put your happiness on a relationship.

But if u need it, that's ok too.

There is some cause inside there somewhere that keeps potential partners at a distance.

You imagined and thought too much time of yourself as lonely and away from partners.

It's time to set an new objective, and invest your time and energy in that image / objective. Imagine urself with a partner. Flirt with this new person of yourself.

Whenever negative thoughts are coming in, tell ur brain it's a mistake, and return to the practice of visualizing yourself with a partener.

Write down what you want from a partner and from a relationship.

Age doesn't matter. Attraction always function. Invest into this new objective, and the brain will do the rest. But it will take a month to replace the old objective ob being lonely, with the new objective of partnership...

It will work out. It always does...

Hope that helped:)